I work with a lot of old people.
A lot of old Southern people.
Being from Oklahoma, I’m fairly accustomed to quirky sayings to explain things, but lately it seems as though I’m surrounded in the things!
I’ve been keeping list of every single one I hear. I thought I’d share a few with you guys today. Who in the world came up with these things anway!?!
This issue has become our long pole in the tent.
Don’t you want a long pole in your tent? Doesn’t it support the entire structure? I don’t know about you- but give me a long pole!
You’re really holding our feet to the fire on this one!
What psycho came up with this saying? I mean sure, I get the point, but all I envision are large pairs of hairy toed funkified feet next to a blazing fire.
Uh- Ew.
Please, for all our sake, we really don’t want to hold your feet to the fire on this issue.
We concede.
I don’t get a warm fuzzy from him.
Warm fuzzy? What about Hot Hairy?
Or Luke Furry?
Those sound stupid, so why is “warm fuzzy” acceptable?
If you can think of a better way to eat this apple, please let me know.
I can’t. I’ve never been good with thinking outside the box when it comes to eating apples. Perhaps I could peel it the way Meg Ryan does in Sleepless in Seattle? I have no idea…
It started to rain to beat the devil!
Um, sorry to burst your bubble, but the devil is not the Wicked Witch of the West. Upon seeing rain, he doesn’t melt into a smoky gooey green pool of witch while cackling, “I’m meeelting AaaaaHHHHHHHHH!” as crazy little vest-wearing flying monkeys stand by in wonder.
He sounded like death eating a cracker!
What? What the crap does this mean?
Does the dark angel of death sit around choking down stale saltines?
Did someone have a near death experience choking on a cracker and everyone sitting at the table around the poor guy totally laughed at him after he regained consciousness and was like, “Dude! When you were choking, you sounded like DEATH eating a cracker!” <- insert Beavis laugh.
I don’t get it. Very random.
I’m like a dog chasing after my own tail!
Please, I beg you, show me what you mean. In fact, I would pay to watch you chase your own tail. In fact, I’m laughing at you right now!
Now it’s your turn- give me some funny sayings.
