I was so freaking desperate for chocolate last night that I resorted to 3 chocolate Viactiv vitamins.

...

On top of the 2 I already had that morning- soley for calcium purposes.

Umm, can’t be sure but I’m leaning towards the fact that wasn’t too smart.

How pathetic.

The truth is that I can’t keep “crap” in my house because it will get eaten!

Not eaten in a normal human being way.

Eaten in a Gargantuan-I’m-Going-To-Suck-The-Life-Right-Out-of-This-Refrigerator-And-Then-Smear-Peanut Butter-All-Over-Myself sort of way.

(insert evil laugh) Muahahahahahaha

My self control is rather lacking. Thank God Will can’t cook. That would have been disastrous.

Ha, while we’re on the subject of eating I ought to mention I’m going to the Gaucho this weekend (the one in Kuwait- not in the UK of course) to have a 10 ounce slab of marble-y Argentinean beef so tender and amazing that when it’s slapped on my plate- juice comes flying at my new shirt.

And I don’t even get mad.

The company at the Gaucho, however, will be far less thrilling than this steak.

(then again, what IS more thrilling than a huge pile of roaring beef jucing all over itself and staring right at you- right?)

We’ll be accompanying my parents on a triple date.

Yes, incase you’re wondering, Will is thrilled. He clasped his hands in jubulation and began jumping up and down and in a high pitch shrill yelled, “Yay! Friends, friends friends! We’re going out with frrrrrrrriends for dinner!”

not.

I’m going to have to drug the poor man to get him to go.

Shh- he doesn’t know that part yet.

Do you think a sleeping pill and 20 cups of coffee will make him lucid and excited to be at this grand event? Hmmm....

Anyway, we’re going out with another couple a little older than my parents.

We’re going to talk about Metamucil and IRAs and how often we pee after 11 pm and our children and how smart and wildly successful they are.

Hmmm- note to self: enroll Boz in Higher Education

Who am I kidding? No one is going to believe Boz, my little boy dog, is smart enough to attend school.

Note to self: enroll Lucy in Higher Education

Yeah, that’s better.

I can’t wait. Fun fun!

...

or at least blogging material.

oh-

and steak.

More to Come…