You simply eat the whole thing so as to ensure there are no jagged edges to haunt you in your sleep.

My MIL made me my annual double decker strawberry birthday cake and brought it up yesterday afternoon.

It’s not just any strawberry cake.

It’s pretty much the best strawberry cake I’ve ever had. It has crushed up real strawberries in it and everything. It’s delicious. And it’s fruit. So it’s healthy.

I shared my cake with the family yesterday- cutting four nice sized slices.

It left a little more than half after that.

Then Will and I, being incredibly slothful and fat, had another generous piece each after our evening walk last night.

So then there was less than half.

Then I came home for lunch today.

And started “evening out” the cake.

A sliver here. A cut there.

You know… to even it out.

Two giant “even-ing out” slices later and there were just two nice size pieces left.

Fat.

Then I came home from work.

Went for an hour long walk outside.

And came home and killed the rest.

Two pieces.

By myself.

After already eating like literally half a cake in a 24 hour span.

I’m pretty sure that type of gluttony is outlawed any other time except for your birthday week.