In zeal of my dad’s arrival, I put a delicious pork roast in the crock pot to simmer all day (because as I’ve mentioned before, pork is illegal in Kuwait. I figure the best way to be welcomed back into America is a huge slab of pig and an iced cold beer- which is also illegal in Kuwait).

As the afternoon waned on, Will and I began to wonder why my dad had yet to arrive. “He was scheduled to fly in around 10:30, so by the time he drove to our house, well, he should have been here by now!” I thought to myself.

Visions of us all around the table, gorging ourselves on fatted swine, laughing, and telling stories about the “good old days (you know, a whole 3 months ago when I was still in Kuwait?)” filled my mind.

Until about 3:30 today when I got a text message from my dad.

“At the Kuwait airport! See you soon!”

?

What?

Kuwait?

Yeah. Kuwait.

Apparently living in America has not only made me afraid to make eye contact with the weird oily check-out guy at Costco- that smells like Fritos by the way- but it has also challenged my ability to read and comprehend.

Sure enough, I looked at my dad’s email and bright as day he’ll be arriving tomorrow.

Sigh.

Pork.

Beer.

Laughing.

Good old days.

So- Will and I will partake in these festivities tonight, only with much less jubilant dispositions. I figure it will save just fine tomorrow, but my dad already mentioned hitting up the one restaurant we have in America that they don’t have in Kuwait.

Bummer. I was so excited to be Mrs. Suzy Homemaker and show my dad what my life is like with a new (just CLEANED for his arrival) house, job, and slew of dogs.

Suzy Homemaker.

That’s so funny.

How did we ever draw up such a term? Why not Carol Homemaker or Gertrude Homemaker?

Why Suzy?

We may never know…

I guess I shouldn’t get hung up on such silliness, right?

But I will.

Trust me, I will.

In fact, I’m writing it down on my list of things to do:

Ask Will and or google and or wikipedia the orgins of Suzy Homemaker.

There.

I feel much better knowing I will be getting to the bottom of this issue.

...

I need friends, right?

That’s so what you’re thinking.

Alright, let’s move on.

Afterall- we’re totally off the subject of my dad coming back to America.

Although…

I think I’ve said all I can about that at the moment…

Okay- getting off track was totally legitimate.

It’s currently 1900 CST.

By the way, want to know something?

I LOVE International Time. You know- the 1300, 1400 stuff?

That’s how I lived for 3 years in Kuwait and it seems really silly to me to have two 7:00s or 2:30s. So- 1900 (that’s 7:00 PM in American speak)

I got home early (because remember!? I made plans to come home and see my dad today!) and was eager to eat dinner with Will and enjoy our evening together.

HOWEVER-

fast forward almost 2 hours later (that means from about 1730 to 1900- OR 5:30 to 7:00 PM for all your crazy people set in your ways!) and I’m still waiting on Will to eat dinner with me!

Pork.

Laughing.

Good old days.

Remember all that?

Yeah- it’s not happening right now. Will is currently fixing his car- ie “Baby #2.” I’m pretty sure a mechanic should have done what he’s doing- but what do I know, right?

My only help is the fact that the sun is setting and before long he’ll have no choice but to come in and begin our festivities.

Ha-

Imagine that.

As soon as I posted all that crap about how a mechanic needed to fix his car and stuff, Will struts in to tell me he figured it out, was at a stopping point, and was ready for our Pork Party.

Okay- he didn’t say Pork Party, because that would be weird.

But it would have been funny…

I guess I shall go now. Wish you guys were here to enjoy my Suzy Homemaker dinner!

Tomorrow (yes, for sure, tomorrow) my dad arrives!