My father in law saw me in my bra Saturday.

Yes, you read this sentence correctly,

and yes,

yes I am scarred for life.

Saturday morning proved to be “one of those days” for me. One of those typical days I had grown so accustomed to in my normal stateside life. A day of at least one embarrassing moment, a day where I trip over my own two feet at least twice, and a day when at least once someone tells a joke and I give a hearty big laugh while thinking to myself, “I don’t get it.”

Ah, those days. I seemed to have been under the radar in Kuwait, but as soon as I returned stateside Mr. Bad Luck found me again.

My Saturday began early due to an 11:30 kickoff in Norman, Oklahoma. I got up at 6:00 to beat everyone to the shower (which has now become a game to me. I’ll have to post about this game later)- only to learn I came in 2nd place. 2nd place can sometimes be gratifying, but I can assure you, coming in 2nd place for the shower is NEVER a happy thing.

So, Jenny beat me to the shower (what a shock, right!?). I take my icy military shower, proceed to get out, and begin getting ready for the day. i’ve mentioned here that I get ready in a bra and my towel. I get hot so easily as I rush around each morning, that I have found it best to restrict the amount of clothes I wear in the morning. Nothing changes this happening- not even staying at my in-law’s house… or so I thought.

I put on my make up, begin to work on my hair, and decide it’s time to put clothes on. I exit from the bathroom and prepare to do what I have dubbed, “The Old Checkaroo.”

The Old Checkaroo is when I leave the bathroom and peer down the stairs to make sure no one is coming and when the coast is clear I dart to our bedroom, which is right past the stairs.

I’ll be honest and say I’m a little sloppy with this check, mostly because no one is ever at the bottom of the stairs. Ever. My peering is more like me standing in the middle of the stairway for 5 minutes and then running to the bedroom. I would make a terrible spy.

So, I leave the bathroom in nothing but my bra, towel, and smile, head towards the stairs in my bra and do my Checkaroo- only this time instead of seeing my usual “nothing.” I see something! I see my father-in-law!

Guys, I’ve never believed it when people say they are paralyzed in fear- but I promise you all it is a real thing. I froze in a state of panicked embarrassment. I was a deer caught in the headlights- only MY headlights were the one beaming at my father-in-law!

It’d be one thing if I were in a huge grandma bra, but ladies- I was wearing a sexy leopard bra(grrr). To me it just makes the whole thing more mortifying.

I finally realize I’m not dreaming. It was as if I was standing there staring, trying to make sure I really was seeing a person down the stairs. I finally come to and dart to the bedroom…

only to realize I left my freaking clothes in the bathroom!

idiot!

I then have to run back to the bathroom to get my clothes. At this point I want to cry. My heart is racing and I am terribly embarrassed. I know it’s like being in a bikini (that’s what my sister said to cheer me up), but guys- it’s so not. It’s a bra- and I’m their daughter-in law. Family… but not quite- you know!? I get dressed and know that I won’t feel better until I tell someone (by the way, why do we do that!? Why do we do the stupidest thing and then run to someone to tell them!?). I prepare a very detailed text of the event and send it off to my sister.

Only instead of sending it to my sister I accidentally send it to my dad. (since I’m sending it internationally I just type the number in as I send it and don’t use my phone book)

I couldn’t win for losing Saturday!

My dad responded with a, “What!?”

I then feel even more embarrassed because that’s the last thing you want to tell your dad! (okay, maybe not the last… but you get what I’m saying)

I then forward the text to my sister who always manages to make me feel a little better- or at least make me laugh at the situation. I had a good laugh and felt a little better, but as soon as we got done texting that sick feeling returned to my stomach when I realized I was going to have to go downstairs and face him, this time with clothes.

My stomach continued to ache as I finished getting ready. Everyone was ready to go, and waiting downstairs. I told Will I really didn’t want to go down, but he told me everything would be fine. My stomach began to gurgle and cramp.
Then I realized.

Not only was it my nerves… it was the laxative I took the night before.

See, because of my diet change from normal food to vacation food, i’ve been having bathroom issues (see my last post!). I’ve pretty much lived off Benefiber and Exlax the last 2 weeks. I’m determined not to freaking plug the toilet up for a record 3rd time (my BIL told me that no one has ever plugged it up before… ever. 2 Points for Team Brittny!) Yeah, yeah I know that’s terrible, you don’t have to tell me.

So- everyone was sitting there, checking their clocks, and I’m sitting on the toilet losing about 5 pounds and crying about my father-in law seeing me in my bra. If it’s not one thing, it’s another.

Guys, I’ve had some really embarrassing moments in my life and this one doesn’t even top the list, but it had been so long since I’d had one, that I guess I got a little “rusty” on how to handle these situations.

I pulled myself together, gathered my pride, and me and “the girls” walked downstairs.

I can only pray that next Saturday goes better than the past one.

So that’s my latest update. Mr. Bad Luck is back.
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In other news, we’re off to Possum Kingdom, Texas this week! Will’s aunt and uncle have a house down there and they’re letting us (us as in the whole L family- father-in-law included) use it during fall break. It should be really nice and relaxing, as long as I keep my clothes on. 

There’s also this crazy chance that I might be meeting up with a nestie tomorrow too! Let’s all cross our fingers that Sarah isn’t some crazy 63 year old man that sits at the computer all day in a wife beater and brown-stained undies while eating Alpo and ritz crackers (ha ha I love you) I’ll keep you all posted on events as they unfold.