My life is full of embarrassing moments. Maybe I am even being too kind when I say embarrassing. I guess I should just call it like it is and tell you that I regularly have “blonde moments.”

Stop where you are, and don’t let your mind wander and think I am a ditz or not smart- I graduated cum laude (I don’t say that to be a pious snob, I say that so you really know that an “educated” person can consistently have these types of lapses ). So now you are probably like, “Okay, shes smart, but shes one of those that has NO common sense.” Its not really that either, I just have stupid moments sometimes I guess.

My life is full of moments when I will do something “blonde“ when I’m by myself and I just breathe a sigh of relief and think, “Thank God no one was in my presence. Talk about a ‘Jessica Moment’.“

Well, last night I had one of those moments. I obviously had the option of letting my family have a good laugh and then tell no one else (probably the better option), or tell my fellow Nest Bloggers about my silly moment. I guess I’m sharing…

Its always hard to write a funny moment, so I don’t know how this will go- there is no room for inflection or motions to explain things better… so if this story makes absolutely no sense, you can chalk it up to my Mrs. Hamlin, my 8th grade English teacher.

If I had to rank the times I have been most scared in the last 5 years, last night would have made the list.

It was about 12:30 at night, and Will and I had already been asleep for a few hours. Well, for some reason, I wake up and Will has his right arm (the arm closest to me) pointed in the air at about a 45 degree angle and is doing all of these crazy hand motions and number signs or something. By now, I’m wide awake and am asking Will what is going on. He tells me, “I have to see who else is up.“

“What do you mean Will?“

“I can’t tell you.“ So now I am totally disturbed.

“Why can’t you tell me?“

“Don’t worry about it. If it was important I would tell you.“

“Tell me, Will!“

“I can’t tell you. Don’t worry about it. Go to sleep.“

So, he then rolls over and goes to sleep. And I turn over and do the same....

Yeah right.

I sat up in bed against the headboard for almost 2 hours freaking out about our conversation. I was thinking all sorts of things like:

-Is our apartment monitored for safety? Have they seen everything I have done for the last 2 weeks ( so that sent me on a 20 minute tangent as I tried to retrace my every move for the last 2 weeks and think about what “they“ were able to see)

- I read an article on the plane over here about a business planting chips in people- have I seen any cuts or scratches on Will? Could that have happened??

-Does Will have a different job? Is he one of the people in the company that has to have a special security clearance? Is there something I don’t know?

For the sake of my dignity (it might be too late) I will stop there with all of the thoughts I was thinking. I assure you they got much worse. I watch and read WAY to many political thrillers. I had everyone in my family being brainwashed and… I’ll just stop there.

The next morning Will woke me up and I asked him what he was doing last night. He told me he was just dreaming. Since we have been married, there have been a few times when Will has talked in his sleep and done stuff (one night he jumped out of bed and told me there was a snake in the bed. AHH). I guess just being in a totally different environment made this sleeptalking escapade a little frightening. Plus, it was different then the other few.

So either my husband has strange dreams and feels the need to share them through his sleep with me by scaring me senseless… or he really is working for the CIA as a spy and has been brainwashed with an implanted chip....