If Will and I lived in your neighborhood we’d be your back-up back-up friends.

You know the ones I’m talking about- the ones that aren’t even stored in your phone- or even in the old Nokia you haven’t used in years. Reaching us requires a lot of research on your part.

We’re the ones you call when you’re desperate.

The ones you finally settle for after sitting on the couch for hours, racking your brain as to who else you could possible call- someone. Anyone. You try your dog walker, your babysitter, the senior citizen center, even your freaking gynocologist before you call us. Ha- in fact you’d rather be spread eagle in the stirrups at the gynocologist than go out with us.

”Hoooney!! Who can we call!?!” you whine, popping your shoulder and kicking your legs like a kindergartner that wasn’t picked for Feed The Fish duty.

That’s when your husband chimes in, “Well, there’s always the...”

“Don’t say it! Don’t even utter their name! You know I hate how he’s always talking about football, and her! She’s in a whole other world! Don’t even get me started!”

You banter back and forth, and finally decide that sharing a meal with two boring Sooners has to be better than another night on the couch watching Mary Tyler Moore reruns. At least, you hope it is.

That’s the kind of friends we are. We wouldn’t even make your JV list.

The truth is- Will and I don’t get out much here in Kuwait. If we must actually brush our teeth, shower, and look alive on the weekends, our date of choice is with my parents (yep. We’re so cool… It’s pretty sad when you double with your parents every single weekend.). I’m thinking really hard, and…

wow!…

I don’t think Will and I have been out with any other couple the whole 2 years we’ve been here! Granted, you may remember “Fred and Ethel Mertz” from the old blog. There’s been a couple other invites here and there, but other than that we’ve hit a dry spell.

When we first moved here that’s all I wanted- friends. “Friends! Friends! Friends! Give me Friends!” I would say. However, after the first year I was sort of like, “Sleep! Give me sleep!” Something about being over here sucks the life out of you, and lazy weekends are the Duracells that get you through.

Well, guys, these Duracells won’t be fully charged this weekend because Will and I have a date.

Yep, that’s right.

A DATE!

I feel like an awkward teenager all over again. The nerves, the anticipation, the obsessing…

Here’s how it went down:

There is a family that works at my company. I know the mom and dad of this family. Every time I see the mom she reminds me she has a daughter that works here now and she’s my age. Oh! and she has a husband too! the mom adds. I’m always nice and do the, “Yeah, maybe we’ll get together sometime,” song and dance, but never really planned on acting on the idea.

Until last week.

The daughter emailed me. She asked if we had plans for that night of the next. My stomach sank. “I know! I’ll call Will!” I thought to myself. “I know what he’ll say! He’ll be the one I can blame a ‘thanks but no thanks’ on.” <- I knew he'd say, "NO WAY! We don't like people. We're curmudgeons that live in a cave, remember?"

However, he totally shocked me. "Yeah, I guess," he said.

WILL! You were supposed to say no!! Oh- and by the way- he conviently fails to remember the part where he readily agrees. He is blaming this whole thing all on me. Such a typical male.

So, I emailed back and we set something up. I wasn’t prepared for anything last weekend. I would need plenty of time to prepare for such a catastrophic event. So, we planned dinner for this Thursday.

It was a date. An official blind date. No backing out now. We entered into a legally binding social agreement when we said yes. These can only be broken by a Congressional hearing. Or bribing the other couple with a free Johnny Carinos appetizer coupon. There was no way out.

Ever since we sealed the deal, I’ve had second thoughts. Perhaps it was the, “Of course- we can always go out for sushi” comment in regards to where we should meet for dinner. “Always go out for sushi,” I thought. “She makes it sound like going out for sushi is what everyone does on a Thrusday night. It’s just like dinner at Applebees!” Maybe it was that. Will loved the sushi idea (ha).

Or, perhaps it’s the whole notion of the “double date” that’s giving me second thoughts. It’s not only just a double date- it’s a BLIND DOUBLE DATE! We have to sit down for at least an hour with these people. Share a meal. Find mutual interests. Muster conversation. Remember what I said earlier!? We don’t date! I don’t even know if we’ll be able to produce audible conversational sentences to these people. It might come out sounding like dolphin squeak. Heck- we might not even be able to squeak! We might just sit there, drooling all over ourselves and trying to speak in hand gestures- just like the cave men we’ve become.

Then there’s the “other people opinion factor.” I told a couple people about the big date and ended up getting mixed feedback. Two told me they knew the couple and said they were, “… nice people...” However, they said it in that hesitant way- like they wanted to say more but didn’t want to ruin us from ever going out again. Plus they know we never ever get out and are thinking to themselves, “Dang it, They NEED human interaction. Even if the couple practices contortion stances for fun.”

Sigh. I just want the truth people!

The truth!

“You can’t handle the truth!” one said.

She’s probably right.

So I have the feeling our blind date couple started thinking about the potential awkwardness as well because I got an email from the wife asking if we could change the time of our get together. Now, instead of having supper, we’re having breakfast.

Breakfast…

Breakfast?!

BREAKFAST!

What made them decide breakfast!? Which then had me stressing out even more.  Breakfast means they might be apprehensive about meeting us too.

Hey- it’s one thing for us to be stressed about meeting them, but they’re not allowed to feel the same way. They have to love us. There is no other option. So, after I got the, “can we change the time” email I started wondering if she had asked around about us like we asked about them.

“What did they ask?”

“What did people say?”

“I wonder if they’re judging us before they even notice us!”

“HEY! They can’t do that!”

and then laughed because I’m doing all of the above, but darn it- they can’t!

So, it’s breakfast. Breakfast seems so much more laidback than dinner. Breakfast is easy. There just seems like less pressure. If we have to go on this blind date- breakfast is definitely the way to go.

Ha, I’ve been joking about it all week. I told Will we should send them an email that described what we would be wearing, how there would be a newspaper in the upper left corner of the table, and that we’d be drinking iced tea (hahaha). He thought I was a weirdo.

“We don’t want to scare them before we even meet them.”

“But Will! How are they supposed to find us?!”

So at the start of the week I had the attitude of- Let’s just get this stupid thing over! However, as the day is finally on my doorstep, it appears I’m singing a different tune. I’m thinking about what I’m going to wear, things to say, what I’ll eat… it’s like I’m dating all over again! I hate this dating drama. I thought I got married and it would all end-

but they don’t tell you that, do they? The fact is that dating gets WORSE when you get married because now there’s four people involved. Will the husbands mesh? Will the wives? Can the husbands tolerate the other man’s wife and vice versa?

Blind couple dating...sigh… I’ve heard everything now. What a way to enter into the couple dating realm after a two year hiatus, huh?

Wish us luck. Maybe I should have a contingency plan in place in case all goes south- like if I send my mom a text message that says “deliverance,” she’ll call 20 minutes later saying she needs me right away.

Okay, now I’m being ridiculous.

Did I mention I have a Gigantor zit on my chin? What a way to make a first impression.

Wish us luck. Who knows- maybe we’ll have a good time.