There’s nothing like a good old LOOONG life update about every facet of one’s life, right? Yes, every facet- including the kitchen sink.  I figured it was time for me to write about some of the things going on in my life. Not just for something to occupy my time, but mainly so 30 years from now I can look back and say things like, “Oh yeeeaaaah. That’s right! I remember now,” and, “Wow, I sure did say ‘freaking’ a lot!”

Let’s get freaking started!

I miss P.

A lot.

She’s totally living some awesome summer life right now, and I’m so very proud and excited for her- but I still miss her. If you’re just joining me, my sister P was chosen to serve as a Congressional page this month. It’s a really big deal and I’m so excited for her opportunity- but I still miss her (btw- Hi Nicole! I hope you got my letter.)!

Apparently her roommate’s mom is a representative, so the two of them have been chosen to do a few extra things here and there (ie: my sister is getting preferential treatment. I’m okay with that.), which has made her time that much more interesting. Not only that, but my parents signed a waiver for her to stay off campus on the weekends, so she goes and stays with her roommate’s family. How much fun!?

They work them like Iditarod sled dogs (or so she says), so she hasn’t had time to talk. I did get a text message from her this week, though. It made my day. We texted back and forth for a little while, but she had to go to sleep. I have some juicy gossip about Miss P (it’s boy related), but I better honor my sister code.

Speaking of- her boyfriend Z wrote the sweetest letter to me about her yesterday! It was about how he just needed to tell someone he missed her, and how he can’t wait to see her and how he wishes she could text more. Ugh, it hurt my heart! I texted her on the way to work this morning to tell her that Z loves her tons. See, P has been battling what to do about Z. He’s going to college in England this summer, and well, I’m sure we’ve all been in a similar situation during our teen years.

Wow- what a ramble about P! Sorry guys! I guess you get the point that I miss her!

*****

I ran into our date’s mom yesterday. It was funny. She’s a rather blunt lady. She told me how her daughter said they had a good time with us and would have to get together again sometime. Then she immediately followed with, “I hear you guys have two dogs that keep you busy.”

“Yes, we do! Yes, they sure do keep us busy.”

“Yeah, well my daughter isn’t much of a dog person...” She then went off on a story about how they had a family dog and the daughter rarely touched it, etc.

I just kind of nervously laughed and said, “Okay. Good to know if we ever have them over.”

Ha ha, how funny. So, I’m not sure how to take that. I wonder if the couple looked at each other with big bug eyes and in a terrified whisper said, “They’re dog people.” ha ha

The daughter (hmm, we have to give her a code name...) did email me this week about getting together again, so that’s a good thing, right?

*****

I like the new Maroon 5 song, but I don’t know the words to the chorus except, “I don’t believe it’s true, anymore, anymo-or-or-ore,” so I sing that part over and over until the end of the chorus. Oh- and I also know the “So this is goodbye” part. That’s about it. If you rode in the car with me, you really might consider ear plugs.

*****

I worked out at my camp’s gym this week. I figured it would be good for me to walk on the treadmill three times a week there, and then go to my gym and do the weights. By the way, it really REALLY sucks trying to work out during a lunch hour (I think I’ll post about that next week). I try so hard not to break a sweat (which is virtually impossible because, like Sarah R, I’m a “sweater").

Today, however, I’m going to sweat to my little heart’s content because I’m taking my lunch at the end of the day. I’m going to run on the treadmill 40 minutes there, go home, and do 30 more minutes of cardio and then lift weights. I’ve decided I need to be lifting heavier weights. I lift heavier than all the other women at my gym (ha, mainly because they’re not lifting much at all- just like 5 pounds most of the time). I have it in my mind that 15 reps is better than 12 or 9 or even less because it’s a higher number, but I know that’s not always true. I have to get that out of my head and be willing to increase my lifting weight and decrease the reps. So, that’s the challenge to myself today. If you’re twitching by what I just said, don’t worry, I won’t “bulk.” A lot of women I’ve talked to about weight training freak out when I say the word “heavy weights” because they’re afraid of bulking up. Rest assure, we don’t have enough testosterone in our bodies to do that. It’s nearly impossible to look manly without using some type of steroid. So- heavier weights does not equal big bulk. That’s my PSA for the day.

Did I tell you Will is kicking butt working out right now!?! I’m so proud of him. You might remember that his dad has diabetes and heart disease, and I’ve been concerned a long time now about Will. Well, there is this trainer that he works with that has been dying to get his hands on Will. This trainer guy is awesome (I wish I could hire him!). He helped this one lady in the military lose 40 pounds in just a crazy amount of time. He is a major butt kicker. Will agreed to give this guy his lunch hour to help him lose weight and get in shape, and he’s done a great job (this guy is doing this all for free too) Will lost a little over 5 pounds the first week! I was so excited for him. He would totally kill me if he knew I was typing about this to the world, but I just can’t help but feel so proud of his diligence to break the cycle of diabetes. Okay- I’ll get off this subject. Like I said- he would freak if he knew I was writing about it.

*****

My summer swap partner Heather got her gifts this week! I was so very excited to hear that!

Sorry, Jenny, I have to cheat and post this a day earlier! I won’t be able to post tomorrow, so I thought I’d slip it out a day early. Sorry for the leak! It’s me.

She emailed me yesterday to tell me she got it. I won’t tell you guys any more, though. Promise. I look forward to getting my package soon too! I’ll be sure to post as soon as it comes in.

*****

My good friends Sarah L., Theresa, and I have come up with a way to get to know each other better than we do now (because- it can be hard to stay close in freaking Kuwait!). Sarah came up with a Question of the Day in which we each take a turn asking the others a question about themselves that normally wouldn’t come up in our normal conversation. I’ve had a lot of fun getting to know my friends better.

Today it was my turn to think of a question for the girls. I wanted to post it because maybe you guys have something to add too, and I thought it’d be interesting to hear what you have to say. Ever since Mrs. BFW’s post about the things she wants to do before she turns 30, I’ve been thinking about the same thing! So, I asked the girls:

- Do you have a list?
-If you do, what are 5 things on that list? If you don’t, what are 5 things that would be on the list?

I’ll go ahead and share what I wrote to them:

No, I do not have a list, but below are 5 things that would be on the list:

1.Change a life/lives with the gifts God has given me. I know this sounds ambiguous and HUGE, but I’ve made it my prayer to live my life in terms of eternity and not just the here and now. Besides, it would be all about God and not me so I know it’s possible.
2. Have and maintain 21.5% body fat (I’m at 26% now. 4.5% more to go. Ugh)
3. Go on a Mediterranean cruise.
4. Play the cello again.
5. Sing- somewhere, anywhere. It’s my biggest fear. Perhaps you two will get me wound up and karaoke with me this December? Ummm.- nah. I think I’ll put this one off a few more years- for all our sakes.

So those are a few things I shared that would be on my list. If you feel like it- feel free to share yours. Heck- maybe I’ll come up with a long list of my own after reading your guys’!

*****

I’m addicted to Wheat Thins. Note- they’re not healthy if I eat an entire box in a day and a half!

*****

The weekend looks to be “good.” I know good is a boring word, but well, good is how our weekend will be. I have a hair appointment tomorrow morning, so there goes half the day. They take a long time at my salon. It’d be okay if I could sit around and talk to my stylist like we’re best friends, but the ladies don’t talk at my place. Boo.

Afterwards I’m not really sure what we’ll do. I think at some point tomorrow we’re going out with my parents for father’s day, so that should be fun. Will and I actually got invited to a social function this weekend too! However,my sweet husband tends to be a stick in the mud at times. He didn’t want to go. I’m a little disappointed. Why can’t we just show up for 15 minutes and say hello on our way to dinner, you know? Well, one valid reason is because they live almost half an hour away. That’s really the only one though. Sigh, I just had to vent a little!

*****

It’s hot.

*****

Wow. If you’re still reading, kudos. I wish you a bright and sunnny day! I’m so glad we have this little community of friends. <3

I’m off to enjoy the weekend!

PS- I almost forgot! I’ve had a couple people ask me how to leave comments on my blog. You simply click “Share the Love” and it will bring you to the comment box!

I went to lunch with my dad today. After we ate, he got an extra large Chocolate Mousse Royale shake from Baskin Robbins and offered to buy me one. I exercised my willpower and said no.

I officially consider today a good day.

That’s all it takes, really. The powers of the Earth had to align just right for me to pass on a Baskin Robbins shake, so I figure good things must be coming today. I hope anyway.

These good things will NOT coming from my nose, however. I’ve been snotting all over my self all week. It’s not only disgusting, but quite honestly embarrassing. I thought I was going to have to excuse myself while we were on The Date this weekend because I could see major snot bubbles in my future. Thankfully for me (and everyone within snot flinging range) everything remained under control.

I went to the pharmacy this weekend to try and shake these snots. Oh- that brings me to a side post!-

Did you know you can get just about ANYTHING you freaking EVER wanted at a pharmacy in Kuwait without a prescription!?! I’M NOT FREAKING LYING.

Sleeping pills? Check.

Birth Control? Check.

Antibiotics? Check.

Allergy Medication only sold with a prescription Stateside? Check.

I left the pharmacy with a nice little candy bag of allergy cure-alls. Only they haven’t worked all that well. I’m shoving odd objects up my nose and squirting strange liquid up there- that is, when I actually make it in my nasal cavity. The first day I shot myself right in the freaking eye. Those pumpers are sensitive!

I’m choking on snot all night, guys (yeah, I did just go there). It’s pretty sick.

I just don’t handle snot well. Want to know a secret? I couldn’t even blow my nose very well until high school. High School guys!! That’s pathetic. Anyway, I still hate blowing my nose in public. I think it’s the most embarassing thing ever, mainly because I don’t think I’ve ever in my life had a good, clean nose blow. There’s something always hanging, or I feel the need to shove a tissue up my nostril… it’s really a sad sight. You would totally disown me. I decided that this snot crap has to stop.

I figured I’d clean my office area a little. We’ve had some bad sand storms the last few days and our entire office has been coated in sand (hmm… and I wonder why I can’t breathe well!!...). I pulled the filter out of our AC unit and was astounded. It was covered in dirt- just waiting to filter through the air vent and cling to my ski slope nose, causing all sorts of havoc. I wish I had my camera, you wouldn’t believe it. Apparently the filters get like this on a weekly basis out here (yeah, I’m a genius. I live in the desert and didn’t stop to think maybe, just maybe, I should clean our air filter). Let’s cross our fingers that a clean filter cleans my nose woes, because if not- I’m about to become a hazard.

You might want to buy an umbrella. My next sneeze is headed westward.

More to come…
(^ non-snot related, I promise)

I’m staring at this picture of a lab student with geeky protective eye wear.

He’s on my ink cartridge box. HP 35 something or other. Maybe you’ve seen him?

After staring all day I’ve concluded he’s sort of cute. Well, sans the goofy eye wear of course.

Yes, my friends, it’s been another boring day in Kuwait. I won’t complain, though. It was pandemonium for a long time. The break has been much welcomed.

I’ve visted every single site I can think of (twice), and figured there’s no better way to kill time than to post! If I’m bored, well, you all have to be bored too.

Being bored is a funny thing. I plays tricks on my mind. It makes me “hungry.” It makes me “tired.” It makes me “homesick (AHH! It’s attack of the quotation marks!!!).” The “ “ use is due to the fact that I’m really not any of those things (well… except homesick). Being bored just magnifies the need for me to think I am all of those things. Especially hungry. Then again, I always think I’m hungry. I don’t have to be bored for that one at all.

I think I’ve gone to the bathroom 11 times today. Again with the mind tricks.

“Hmm. I’ve got nothing to do.... I know! I’ll go pee!” Because that’s what everyone does when they’re bored, right?

Probably not.

Most people become creative geniuses when they’re bored. Do you think Beethoven was a busy guy!? Ha- think again. I think I read somewhere that he spent 22 hours a day staring into space. Okay, that’s a lie- but I’m trying to convey that most people channel their boredom into masterpieces. I’ve yet to steer my boredom towards creative wonder. I can blame this on the fact that this job is rarely boring- or the truth, which is that I’m not good with creative wonder.

Wow. I have to pee again. Or at least I think I do.

Hoping your day is a little more eventful than mine…

Do you ever feel now that you have your own place in the blogosphere that you have to post? I’ve posted about this topic from time to time, but once again here I am- staring at a blank screen thinking,

“Crap! I haven’t posted since Thursday morning! I HAVE to post something! Anything!” as if I entered into a legally binding contractual agreement I signed in blood that says if I don’t post at least every other day I’m condemend to wear those pesky stirrup pants and hypercolor tees we talked about earlier this week.

I feel that way on random Sundays (ha- lie. I feel that way everyday!) when I have nothing to write. So, to spare the rest of you- get the crap out of here! What you are about to read is useless boring information that might make you feel the need to bang your head against the nearest desk. Or wall. Or door. Or really, whatever is close enough to help you forget the reality of this post. SAVE YOURSELVES!!

To the remnant who enjoy hodge podge conversational nothingness- follow me. 

Thanks Mrs. M! Apparently I missed a week of memes! Where have I been!?! I was tagged twice, so here I go to play catch up!

Meme #1

INSTRUCTIONS: Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot, like so.

1)The Life & Times of a First Time Stay at Home Mom

2)Mom of 2 and Wife of 1

3)BlondeMomBlog

4) Newlywed Bliss

5)The B-Love Life

What were you doing 10 years ago?
I was a young 14 years old! Hmm- what, 8th grade or something? I have fond memories of my junior high years with my best friend at the time, April. Oh my gosh- I don’t think I’ve laughed as much since junior high. Memories of Summer Journals, Smashing Pumpkins, and my totally cool SilverTab Wide Leg jeans come to mind.

What were you doing 1 year ago?
I was just coming back from Dubai! It was such a fun trip! Will went skiing in their indoor ski lodge (yes, you can actually ski in the Middle East- go figure, right!?) and we stayed a night here. It was amazing!

Five snacks you enjoy:
Ha ha! The foods below aren’t necessarily my favorites (because honestly- you all know I like to eat like a freaking man cow), but they’re ones I actually eat on a regular basis at work and like.

1. Lettuce wraps with tofu, cheese, and dijon mustard

2. South Beach cookies/cereal bars

3. Chickpeas with balsamic vinegar

4. Low Sugar Fruit

5. Yogurt

Those are my week day work snacks. My weekend snacks look very different. Very different.

Five songs that you know all the lyrics to:
1. One, Three Dog Night

2. The Dress Looks Nice on You, Sujfan Stevens <3

3. Transatlanticism, Death Cab for Cutie <3

4. Gimme Shelter, The Rolling Stones

5. I Need Thee Every Hour

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:

1. Tithe (we do that anway, but still- you gotta put it, right?)

2. Buy a business so my money is continually working

3. Buy a house by the lake

4. Buy Will his GMC truck

5. Have a weekly spa package set up so I can have the works done every Friday afternoon (ahhh...)

Five bad habits:

1. Worrying

2. Being too nice/passive That’s probably the biggest.

3. Feeling the need to freaking eat anything in front of me just because it’s there. Wait, that’s probably the biggest

4. Stressing over things I can’t change (seriously- I stress about things WAY over my head- international relations, the environment, etc. I’m so weird)

5. Eating peanut butter with a spoon right out of the jar… and then putting honey on top of the gobbed spoonful of peanut butter. And then totally using the same spoon to get more. I’m such a sick-o. Definitely the biggest. No question.

Five things you like doing:
1. Weight Training <3

2. Blogging

3. Watching boxsets of shows we don’t get over here (yes, I’m lazy. I admit it.)

4. Viewing photography

5. Listening to my iPod

Five things you would never wear again:

1. Loafers and white socks

2. A t-shirt tucked into my jeans and pulled out (you know- the bubbled-tuck look?)

3. Reebox High Tops (remember!? They had like every color imaginable- plus some colors I don’t think even register on the color wheel!)

4. A ribbon tied around my pony tail

5. Straight Leg Jeans

Five favorite toys:

1. iPod

2. Camera

3. I Have No Clue

4. What Else To Say

5. I’m Boring and Have No Toys.

Okay, If you’re not sick of me yet, I’ve got another one below! This is Annie’s!

Meme #2

8 Random Things About Me!

1. One summer, when I was little, I was hot. To cool off I decided to stuff two eggs down my pants and then crack them.

No, I have no idea why.

Wait- it was because I was hot. It makes sense, right!?
...

Sigh, I was destined to be weird from the start…

2. I inherited my father’s digestive system. ie: I’ve probably plugged up more toilets than all of you combined (what a lovely fun fact, right!?) Thank God for Benefiber.

Seriously.

3. I went to 9 different elementary schools prior to 5th grade.

No- it wasn’t because I was a troubled child (hmm… or was it!?!). My dad was in the army.

4. One time I tried to pay a pizza man $12 for a $24 pizza order. I gave him a coupon that said “half off” so I thought it meant that I could use the coupon as the other $12 and just pay half… I was in high school when I did this, by the way. Speaking of pizza- I didn’t know you were supposed to tip the pizza guy until about 2 years ago. So- if you ever delivered to my house, I’m really sorry. I didn’t know.

5. In college I tried to vacuum my bedroom. I came out all sweaty and told my mom vacuuming was hard work. She looked at me perplexed and asked why. “Well because you have to keep lifting it up everywhere you go!” I answered. Apparently I never pushed the lever to release the vacuum and was doing it upright. What a freaking moron. I graduated Cum Laude, by the way.

No, I really did.

6. I don’t wash my hair everyday.

7. I played the cello for 7 years. I miss it so much. I hope one day I’ll be able to buy a nice one and take lessons again. See- I’m totally refined (HA HA HA)!

8. One time I bowled a 7. Yes, a 7. And I actually tried my hardest to do well.

Anyone want to start a bowling league?

Tired of MeMes yet??  You can’t be because

YOU’RE IT!

1. Read about 234 blogs 2 different times in hopes that maybe, just maybe, someone updated their freaking blog at 4:00 a.m. Eastern Standard Time

2. Logged my food into Sparkpeople.

3. Checked out the Iron Maidens Spark Group page.

4. Thought maybe I should totally join.

5. Read some entries from the Iron Maidens.

6. Changed my mind.

7. Sat and stared at this blank screen for about 16 minutes, debating if I wanted to post.

8. Decided to go to Fitness Magazine instead.

9. Got bored really fast.

10. Sprayed my french vanilla air spray in the room because I had tuna for lunch and, well, I don’t have to tell you that would totally knock anyone into the opposite wall, striking them unconsious.

11. Accidentally went to this scary lady’s website that had muscles on top of muscles and scary twitchy veins protruding from every angle of her body.

12. Clicked off really quickly.

13. Splashed cold water on my face to take away the shock.

14. Looked at my list of things to do four times.

15 Realized I haven’t done freaking any of them and thought to myself, “I should get on that!”

16. Decided to get on my list right after lunch.

17. Or Thursday at the latest.

18. Went to the nest to see if I missed it. Decided maybe I do.

19. But seriously? Not so much.

20. Checked out about 13 more of the “famous people” blogs. Thought to myself, “These bloggers are so cool.” Yes, that’s right I have some sick adoring elementary school puppy love crush on famous bloggers. I admit it.

21. Stared into space.

22. Wished I would have went out for lunch instead of sitting at my desk.

23. Totally spied on what my coworker was looking at online. I think she noticed. Quickly looked away and pretended to be busy.

24. Looked over my workout plan for tonight.

25. Actually wished someone would come into the office to give me work.

26. Quickly snapped out of it and changed my mind.

27. Remembered I needed to call Will.

28. Decided I’d do it after I posted about the thrilling things I did on my lunch break.

29. Frantically searched for a Crystal Light On-The-Go Pack, only to realize that I didn’t have one.

30. Cried.

31. Checked my email. When nothing new was waiting in my inbox I loudly complained, “What!?! People’s fingers don’t work anymore!?!”

32. Had my coworker look at me as if I was twitching out on some unidentified substance.

33. Watched her write something down about my odd behavior.

34. Decided to keep it down for the remainder of lunch.

35. Jammed out to my iPod.

36. Almost posted about the top 30 song you need to freaking download now.

37. But obviously, as you can see, didn’t.

38. Contemplated the Presidental election.

39. Wondered what I would say on MTV’s Rock the Vote if I ever ran for President.

40. Wondered if they even did that on MTV anymore.

41. Decided that if they didn’t, I wouldn’t run for President.

42. Wondered if I could pull off Hillary’s hair cut.

43. Started laughing.

44. Remembered I decided to keep it down for the rest of lunch.

45. Stopped laughing.

46. Remembered that my eyebrows were slowly taking my face over.

47. Made a note to add, “Make an eyebrow appointment” to my list of things to get right on after my lunch.

48. Decided I really needed to pee, but changed my mind because it’s too freaking hot to walk to the bathroom.

49. Checked the weather forecast for Kuwait this week.

50. Cried.

51. Decided I definetly need to take my lunch out of the office tomorrow.

So I get this big fancy new blog and am so in love with it that I have this continual urge to post even when I have nothing to say. This is not something new to me, oh no. I did it all the time on the nest, and called it something fancy like, “Monday Update” or “Hodge Podge” or whatever- but the truth is that it should have been titled “A Steamy Load of Crap Wrapped in Pretty Pink Celophane Because I Want to Post and Have Nothing to Say but Want to Make it Look Like I Do.”

So, I decided I should be honest on this blog. Instead of giving the appearance of a “real post (by the way, what is a “real post” anyway?),” I’m going to level with you and let you know up front- hence today’s pretty post title. If you’re finished reading (since I’ve already been up front with you)- see you tomorrow, but if you’re not, click here.

Because I feel I’m among friends, I will start with a paranoia I’ve been having all afternoon.

Girls, I think my feet smell.

What is worse than that!?

I have been so worried all day long and trying to take big whiffs of air to make sure I’m in the clear.

See, I’m wearing ballet flats without socks. That isn’t typically a problem for me, except it miraculously rained here today (which is very odd for this time of year!) and my shoes got all wet and sloshy and so now I know, I just know I’m steaming off something bad.

I mean lethal bad.

I think my nose is used to the smell. “Please God, let everyone else’s’ nose be immune too.”

Okay, that is my paranoia. I had to get it out because I’ve been worried all afternoon and I can’t call “Ethel” to tell her about it because everyone will then know it’s ME emanating the scent that made their flowers die and fruit spoil.

The Horror! The Horror!

Okay, sorry. I will now move on- that is if you will still read this post after I announced the worst thing ever!

Actually…

Let’s camp out here.

I hate feet. In fact I hate them so much I don’t even like to say that word. I can say it once or twice and not want to throw up, but for the sake of this post I just can’t keep saying, “feet” without getting sick. In fact, I just threw up a little.

Let’s call them fairies.

(Too funny, you’d think I was talking about nether regions or something. Nope! Just feet.)

I am not a fairy person at all. I never have been. Only recently have I gotten a lot more comfortable with the idea of fairies.

This is largely due to the fact that when I had my fairy surgery they were constantly fondled and stroked and rubbed and ever sexual word you can think of and twist to make seem miserable.

That’s right. If I wasn’t okay with fairies before, I had to have a quick come to Jesus meeting last spring because my fairies were on debut for the world to see!

If having my family know about my fairy problems wasn’t bad enough, Will’s sweet mom- totally meaning well- told the whole freaking world about my fairies. I had no choice but to come to grips with them! I think the turning point was the February family get together, full of grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins where I was kindly asked every intimate detail about my fairy surgery and on top of that, “Show us your fairies!” Um, can I die now please? Oh that AND the whole month I was on her Sunday school prayer list. I mean, I so know the sweet woman loves me and genuinely wanted prayer for me, but my view of fairies is comparable with being stripped naked and standing in front of her whole class.

Yeah.

About the same thing.

Anyway, I’m more open to touching Will’s fairies and letting him touch mine. Oh my gosh- how sick did THAT just sound!!? Sorry. Maybe I should have used the real “f” word in this instance instead of fairies to avoid any miscommunications and random google searches when my blog comes up under hot sex or something.

Before, I would totally freak out if someone wanted to touch my fairies or wanted me to touch theirs- not that I get a lot of requests for me to touch people’s fairies, but you know what I’m saying…

I remember one time I was on a mission trip in Romania and at the end of our whole trip we went down to the river and were supposed to wash each other’s fairies, just like Jesus did with his disciples. I totally freaked out.

“Are you there, God? It’s me, Brittny. Hi. Look. I know you did this whole washing fairies thing and all and wanted us to follow your example, but can you make an exception on me? You understand, don’t you?”

Okay, I didn’t really say that, and I totally washed my team’s fairies and it was a really awesome experience, but trust me, I was freaking out inside.

The scary second toes longer than the big toes,

the hairy tops,

the corn infested bottoms… it was hard to “Let Go and Let God” that night, let me tell ya.

Luckily I’ve grown up a little since then. I can handle Will’s clean fairies now and it’s not a big deal. In fact, if he wanted to touch mine I might get grossed out and wince a little at first but then be totally fine soon after. It’s pretty bad when you don’t even want to touch fairies with your best friend!! Sorry Will, nothing personal. Anyway, I’ve made great strides this year and am not ashamed to say I’m becoming okay with fairies!

In fact, I should hug a podiatrist today.

So anyway, I give you that whole stupid drawn out fairy conversation because I’m a little nervous about my wet shoes and the smell they are producing. Sorry girls.Thank goodness the day is soon over. For me and for everyone else!

I don’t know if I am able to talk about anything else now that I just said all that. Am I? Can I seriously justify a real conversation after all that nonsense? I just don’t know!

No… I think the answer is no on this one. You can send the hallelujah chorus in right…

About…

NOW!

You know I love you, that’s why it hurts to write this letter.

Remember all the fun we had my first couple of years of college? Y’know before my boyfriend (who later became my husband) made me get a job- taking me away from you and our special hour together? Of course you remember. You were as devastated. I had to hang up on you because I couldn’t talk through all your sobbing. I’m sorry I had to cut the cord that day. The truth is, I think Will felt threatened by the connection we shared. I know, you probably get that a lot, but this time it’s real.

Who could forget our discussions over weight loss, Brad and Jen (pre-split, of course!), and how great Texas beef really is? Oh the laughs we shared, and the tears we cried. Every weekday at 4:00 was such a special time!

And now… now there’s a chance that we might reunite! I know you were just as thrilled as I was. I’m sure the same things that were going through my head were going through yours when you learned I would be in Kuwait.

“Has she changed since we last met?”

“I hope she remembers me.”

“I hope this pink shirt doesn’t make me look fat.”

Don’t worry, Oprah, I remembered you- oh, and you look great in that shirt! Stop saying you look fat!”

Unfortunately, as excited as you’ve been to meet me, I’m afraid I’m going to have to cancel.

I know, I know, you rearranged your “busy schedule” to come all the way over to the middle of nowhere, but the truth is, Op, I’m a busy lady in high demand. These websites I visit just can’t wait and I am not going to let them down, darn it. Not even for Oprah Winfrey.

So, I knew this news would be upsetting, and I knew you would have your people call my people to try to arrange a get together. How many more ways can I say, “I’m Busy!” without hurting your feelings!? Gah. Just let it go. You’re really beginning to look desperate.

Okay, I see you are going to pester me about meeting you, so here’s what I decided to do. Here is a list of the reasons I can not meet with you today. I don’t think I can make things any clearer than this!!

10. I wore entirely too much blush today. The lighting in my bathroom isn’t the greatest. I thought I needed a little more because apparently it just didn’t seem like 50 swipes was enough. I reapplied the pink horror one last time only to shock myself in the office bathroom this morning.

I look like a cross between Tammie Faye and a Rose Parade float. I can’t see you like this.

9. If the blush encompassing my entire face wasn’t enough, I have yet another unwanted entity sitting on my face, unrelated to makeup. That’s right, Oprah, I have a huge zit on the left side of my chin.  Talk about embarrassing. I’m greeting people before I even get to them. My chin shows up 20 feet before the rest of my does! I thought there was a chance it would clear up so I could meet you, but that just isn’t the case. In fact, I even bought some “Super Strength Will suck the life out of your zit in 3 minutes or your money back” stuff hoping it would help. Sadly, it hasn’t, and I look the exact same way I did yesterday. Only with more blush and a zit the size of a large ferret dancing around my chin with each word I speak.

8. There is a very strange smell emanating from one of the cubicles in my office. I am very paranoid it is mine. It smells like someone put a fresh bag of kettle corn inside a squishy and explosive baby diaper and let it marinate for 2.5 hours. I keep sniffing, trying to inconspicuously catch where the pungency is coming from, but I can’t be certain. I hope it’s not my cubicle.

7. I am having a fat day. I know you can relate to this. I mean, I’ve watched your fluctuate in the 80s and early 90s to finally blossom into one fit chick. Anyway- you know what’ I’m saying. My shirt is getting tucked into my little stomach roll, so unattractive. I can’t have you see me like this.

I am having a zitty, smelly, blushy, fat day. I could stop in my countdown, walk away, and you would totally understand, but here is more, so much more.

6. There are a whole bunch of new eastern hires standing around dour office. They have been standing around and trading turns on the couch for 4 hours. It’s very awkward because They are staring at my screen and it’s freaking me out. On top of that, I stick out in the office because I look like a typical American and so they keep looking at me and I’m getting creeped. Oprah, I don’t want to add to the awkwardness. If you came in here a riot would ensue. I know these young bucks are huge fans of your successful made for TV movies, and I know they know who you are and appreciate you just like the next guy. However, I am certain things would get out of hand and you would feel overwhelmed. I know you’re not used to autographs and pictures and I wouldn’t want to scare you.

5. I walked into the bathroom earlier today (after I saw my scary blush) and saw I had a little microbooger on the tip of my nose. How much more embarrassing can my life get!!? Too much blush, a huge zit, a FAT DAY, AND a micro-booger!!!? These things are supposed to happen one at a time! Oh, Oprah, you’re not familiar with this term?

Sorry, let me catch you up to speed. A micro booger is a teeny tiny little hanging booger just out the cavity of your nose. It’s not terribly noticeable at first site, but trust me, people see you with it.

Therefore from the time I went to the restroom this morning and saw “Big Blush” to the time I saw “microbooger” I have been walking around with crap coming out of my nose none the wiser. Living my life and talking to people and everyone wants to throw up their tuna salad and I’m smiling and having no clue why everyone is rubbing their nose and giving me strange looks. JUST TELL ME! Don’t let me walk around looking even MORE stupid! Ugh. Oprah, do you feel my pain!?

4.I have a VERY, I mean VERY stressful and demanding job, Oprah. Even more high profile than yours. I know it’s hard to believe, but it’s true. Today I was swamped with a load feedback, and then I was weighed down with meetings at AOL.com, and to top it off I am so stressed about finding new sandals for my Saturday deadline. Ugh! Crucial stuff Oprah! As you can see I don’t just leave work at the door when I come home. I bring these things home. I carry the weight of my shoulders, but someone has to do it. You understand, don’t you? I guess not. I mean, you only have your own production company and TV show. That’s not all that hectic.

3. I’m in training. That’s right. I’m working out tonight and can’t talk to anyone. It’s sort of the age old rule of no sex before a game because the guy needs to be focused. That’s the same with me except I’m all about the first thing and not all about having meaningful conversations today. That means Will wins and you lose. Sorry Oprah, I just can’t waste my sentences. I need to keep to myself and remained focused on the challenge before me.

2. As of 3:00 today I am taking a vow of silence- until 6:00, that is.  The only window I MIGHT have had to meet you would have been between 3 and 6, and I am not speaking then so we can’t meet. It would be me staring at you and you talking away all about A Million Little Pieces and everything in between. I just wouldn’t be much company.

1. Will wouldn’t let me.

Thanks for understanding my situation. I’m just too busy for you and can’t really squeeze you in right now.

I know I’ll see you again sometime. Until then, we’ll always have your show…

Your Friend,

Brittny

***If you haven’t already guessed, the Oprah thing appeared to be a bad rumor. Sigh…

Short post today. My eyes are starting to droop, and I can see my self any minuted hitting the keyboard comatose and leaving you all nothing but asldfjklsdjflksdjflksajdflkajsdklfj until I wake up at 3:30 tomorrow to get ready for the day.

This schedule is the worst.

I can’t write long, and my post will be pretty boring today, but I feel like a stranger and will probably continue to feel that way for the next week and a half or so. Things at work are just....

Well…

I guess I don’t know yet.

Today I almost flatlined.

My boss was gone so I literally (I’m not making this up) sat on an uncomfotable chair at this lady’s desk for 11 hours. No lie. 11 hours and then had an hour lunch. I got up 3 times to make copies for her. In the 11 hour span I read 3 newspapers which took all of an hour.

It was mindnumbing.

The daily work day is 10 hours and a lunch. We car share, so I am at the mercy of those who take me. The lady that did worked 11 hours today, which added to the long and boring day.

There is lots in the middle. It wasn’t a bad day or anything, but I don’t have a computer, a desk, and my boss doesn’t even have his own computer or desk. They have him at a table. I just didn’t really have a place today.

The day was long, and like I said I was at the mercy of someone else to get me home. I am a vERY time-oriented person, so I felt like today was a waste, and then having to wait an extra hour got me all worked up.

I was so ready to go home, I was literally bored to tears. My eyes watered as I was sitting in the car thinking how much I wanted to go home and how much further we still had to go.

Like I said, lots in the middle, but you probably get the big drift. As soon as I walked in the door I saw Will. I feel right into his arms and lost it. I don’t really know why. I guess for some reason I felt overwhelmed on my first full day, and having to stare at a wall for 12 hours. I don’t really know what it was. I hate that he isn’t just a drive away, he is literally across country. I just cried. Tears have seemed to be a theme the last few days.

I’m sorry this post is boring, but I juts needed to post for myself tonight. I don’t know when I will get to do this again, so I just need to do it know and take advantage of the time I have.

We get our keys for the apartment tomorrow! That means that I won’t have the computer anymore… the only bad thing about moving out. Anyway, I don’t know when I’ll be getting a computer either. things are crazy right now because Doha is closing and they are trying to move everyone out of that camp and to other places, so that is their first priority. So, I’m getting paid to sit, which is okay, but depressing.

Anyway, I hope you are all having a fantastic week! I will try not to be a stranger for the next week, but I don’t really know when I’ll be able to post.

I should have an interesting story about our newcomers briefing. My dad has part in it and was telling me all about some of the weird stuff they brief us on.

I wanted to laugh.

Maybe that will brighten my day. It’s on Tuesday, so we’ll see, though I hope I have something to cheer me up work wise before then.

Thanks for listening to me vent. It probably made no sense because I am exhausted and I just want Will to hold me.

Hopefully I’ll be on in the next couple of days.

Have a great weekend.

Boomer Sooner (last I heard they were up… I guess we’ll see)