This weekend was one of the best ones I’ve had in a long time-

and it’s partly due to my work Christmas party!

Who would have thought, right?

I have so much to chat about today- are you ready to sit for a while?

Good.

So Friday was my big work Christmas party (see the below post).

Guys- I had a freaking blast. I came thinking it would be alright, but it turned out to be so much fun.

As expected I saw some funny dancing- to include our vice president! I loved it. People were totally getting down. It was too funny. I sat by my boss and another girl I work with and we had a good time.

By the way- who decides to play musical chairs three hours into an adult Christmas party where 95% of the attendees have been drinking?

Crazy people, that’s who!

I must say, though- it was pretty funny.

I somehow got roped into being one of the players. I only made it two rounds.

I blame my high heels. My feet were killing me by the end of the night.

I don’t think Will had as much fun as I did.

Wait.

I know Will didn’t have as much fun as me, but I guess that’s because I know these people and Will didn’t.

Anyway- it was a lot of fun, and yes, I will be laughing on the inside when I see some of my coworkers tomorrow morning.

Yesterday was just as much fun.

We went to dinner with Ross and Rachel followed by going to a Christmas play at their church, so that was nice.

After the play we came home and watched the Heisman Presentation (we DVRed it. I love that thing.)!

As you can imagine, we were stoked to see Bradford win.

Stoked.

I think “Stoked” needs to be added to my running list of stupid words I’m not allowed to say anymore…

Anyway- we were very excited to see Bradford win (How’s that? Better than stoked?).

As you can see from my Flickr pictures, we had a good night. I’m partial to the one of me and Rachel doing the Heisman pose. Don’t ask me how we ended up in my belly dancing skirts. I don’t remember. I do remember it was funny though.

Can I blame it on the fact that we were so happy about Bradford winning the Heisman that it impaired our judgement? I’m going to go with that.

This year has been so freaking fun to be a Sooner fan. Just thinking about it gets me fired up. The last home game- against Tech- was freaking amazing. I’m so excited for the National Championship.

Wait.

Did I tell you guys I’m going?

I know most of you don’t care about football- but as you know, Will is highly obsessed, and now that we’re back in the states it’s only worse.

Anyway, because of our season tickets we qualified for four season tickets through the school so we didn’t have to pay outrageous prices so that was very exciting!

So- Ross and Rachel are going with us to the big dance! I’m so freaking excited, and now having Bradford as the Heisman winner makes it that much sweeter.

We spent a week in Miami in February of 2007, and I figured that’d be the only time we’d be there. Now we’re heading back!

Sigh- I want to go on, but I realize you don’t care, so I’ll shut up.

I’m sure you’ll be hearing more in time…

After the game we celebrated which was oddly enough followed by a 1:00 am game of Scrabble.

Random.

Oh and just for my own odd benefit- let me tell you what a freaking cow I was last night!

We had leftover pizza from dinner so I ended up eating like 2 pieces of that at like 10:30, followed up with a Reeces Christmas Tree,

(sidebar- have you guys had those yet? They’re freaking AMAZING. They’re like the Easter egg ones. I love those things. They’re way better than the regular ones because the annoying ridged chocolate doesn’t get in the way.)

3 (or 4… I can’t really remember) regular Reeces- because apparently I WANT to be fat,

chips (Reduced Fat!… although… I think after about 2 cups it doesn’t really matter...)

a peanut butter sandwich,

and Cheetos.

MOO.

No amount of working out will undo that carnage.

BOO.

I’ll sure try at the gym tomorrow, though, guys- I promise.

Sorry- I just felt the need to unload my weekend fatness on you. I generally share this information with my sister, but she’s asleep right now, so you guys have to suffer now.

Sorry.

Anyway, we had a really good Saturday night too. In my life it’s not very common that I have two nights of big fun. A party, a play, Scrabble!? Too much fun to handle! (ha ha- I’m kidding about the Scrabble part)

Wow. I realize you guys probably could care less about:

“What I Did This Weekend!” - a short story by Brittny

However, I figured I ought to use my blog to chronicle certain things I want to remember so I can look back and, well, remember them! So- sorry for the lame post.

More (less boring crap) to come…

What did you do this weekend? 

I’m quickly realizing that “It’s that time of year again.” That time of year as in- running around with a bird on my head, event to event, and trying to remember everyone’s names- even after almost five year’s of marriage.

The holidays.

They’re here.

I would have thought by now that the days of “Angstgiving” were long gone. However, I’ve finally decided that Angstgiving is not just an event that lasts during the first few years of marriage.

Oh no no no no no.

Instead, it’s a way of holiday life that sticks with a married couple for all eternity.

FOR-freaking-EVER.

Only to get worse upon having kids that are insanely cute with huge rosy chubby cheeks that weird smelling aunts want to eat.

Oh yes my friends, it’s not going away.

Get used to it- for as long as there’s Thanksgiving and Christmas they’ll be the stress and pulls and tugs from every.single.person.ever.born.ever.

ever.

You know, this is our first holiday season home since 2004! Just typing that is very strange to me. Sure, we went home twice for Christmas- but we were “guests” during those stays.

There was no obligation to write Christmas cards or make the most amazing ambrosia salad for Turkey Day. This year, however, there is!

Okay- hold it.

Let me back up.

I’m SO excited about being home this year for Thanksgiving and Christmas.

In fact, I’m a little on the “is she okay?” side.

I’m elated walking into Walmart and seeing all the Christmas decorations. I get all glazed over like a Krispe Kreme donut and begin to grow giddy and laugh uncontrollably for no apparent reason.

I eat up all the Campbells green bean casserole commercials.

I’m all about the church Christmas pageant.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE this time of year.

Having said that- I guess I’m just realizing that this year will be very different than years past because along with all the Christmas cheer and fun also comes Christmas stress.

I was a little annoyed the other day when my MIL (whom I love very much) casually mentioned this whole story about how important it was for grandparents to see their grandkids and how they drove all over the state of Oklahoma on Thanksgiving and Christmas every year to parade the kids around.

I don’t know why it rubbed me the wrong way- but it did.

You guys know me by know and know- you know- how I feel about kids.

Why would one say that then?

It really bothered me. I know it wasn’t meant to upset me- but it did! Not only that, but if we ever do have kids they’re going to enjoy Christmas and will play with their toys and won’t be dragged around the world and expected to be cute and cuddly and “on” when all they want to do is be home enjoying the day.

Sigh..

am I getting off track?

Because I think I am.

Anyway, it just rubbed me the wrong way, and as a person that worries about EVERYTHING- even things that aren’t going to happen for a few years- it still bothered me because it made me realize that this Angstgiving thing? Yeah- it’s not going anywhere and will only get worse.

Geez-a-lou.

I sound really negative right now, don’t I?

Why are you reading? Go read this or this or this … they’re way happier people than I seem to be right now!

What is my problem today, you ask?

I don’t know!

I think I’m missing my family and am bummed that I won’t get to spend the holidays with them. I’m also thinking about the expectations that there seems to be this time of year.

And you know what else?

I’m also thinking I’m being a negative worrier and it’s really stupid for me to be this way because I ought to be enjoying these coming weeks and not all stressed about the house and cooking and plans and family and plans and cleaning and getting everyone the right gift and plans and making sure I sent our 2nd cousin’s boyfriend a Christmas card and plans and- did I mention plans?

Just typing this out makes me feel a little better. I know- I know I’m allowing myself to get caught up in the whole hype and commercialism and stress and everything else. I know I need to focus my heart on the real meaning. I know I need a softer heart that embraces the love of God this time of year. I know! I know, I promise. I also know if I’m honest there’s absolutely no possible way that I won’t be stressed out during these coming weeks.

So- here’s what I’ve decided.

Angstgiving is here to stay. It’s not going anywhere.

I might as well embrace this time of year and make the most of it, as it is my favorite time.

I might as well suck up the fact that things absolutely will not go as planned,

that my ambrosia will probably suck,

that I’ll forever have people quietly praying over my ovaries in hopes that I’ll produce them a kid to dress in awful sweaters,

and that gift shopping, Christmas card writing, and a messy house are all inevitable.

I’m coming to terms with the fact that because we’re back in America now the holidays will forever be crazy and hectic forever. Forever

That, my friends, is what eggnog is for.

Lots and lots of eggnog.

I’m very excited about tonight!

Will and I have tickets to the very first ever OKC Thunder Basketball Game!!

It’s about time our humble state had something professional.

gasp.

No- I didn’t just diss our Sooners. Sheesh.

Anyway, I’m so very stoked about tonight! We have super duper cheap seats but it will be fun nonetheless! Look for me- I’ll be the one not wearing a Thunder shirt. ha ha

I’m so excited about having a pro team to cheer for here in Oklahoma. I know what great support they’ll have from this state too.

Have I mentioned I’m excited about having a pro basketball team in my home state?

Go Thunder!

Oh- and by the way- have I mentioned I hate our team name?

Hey… I shouldn’t be picky, right?

Yeah, yeah I know.

Okay-

One more time-

Go Thunder!
...

Nope, still don’t like it.

Eh- at least we have a team, right?

Have a good day! 

Well lovies- it’s here.

You’ll have to go to a sports blog to get the play-by-play pre-game stuff (because I know how my female audience LOVES to talk all about sweaty 200 pound college boys colliding into one another), but you’ll get everything else right here.

I’m preparing to jump in the car with Will and 2 of our friends (Friends! Friends! Did I tell you guys I have Friends now? I have people, people! Sorry...as you can see I’m still very new to this concept and often find myself smiling and singing for no reason. Food tastes better, the sun shines brighter… you get the picture… ) to head to the Big D!

Wow- this post is really choppy.

Do you realize I just inserted a whole freaking paragraph right in the middle of the above sentence?

!

How do you guys read this crap?

Very carefully, I suppose.

Anyhow-

I’m siked about Texas-OU OU-Texas.

I figure if all goes to hell I’ll find myself in a trans-fat-fair-food-comforting stupor.

“Where’s Brittny?”

“She’s over by the basketball throw rubbing fried snickers all over herself. I think she’s gone off the deep end.”

Yeah- I figure this weekend won’t be all lost if we lose.

There’s always fried snickers.

Some may say I sound like such a pathetic fan.

These people have never indulged in a fried snickers.

<3

boomer sooner

I’m back from Waco.

Back very victorious, highly sunburned, and slightly fatter.

I think the highlight of my day occurred when a grandma turned to her little granddaughter and said, “I’m pretty sure grammi is not going to be able to find anything she likes to drink here. She’s going to have to wait until after the game.”

I’m pretty sure grammi wasn’t referring to coffee either.

Ha.

It’s the little things that make me laugh, really.

Anyhow, the trip was fun.

Fun in that- drive 30 hours to get there, have a quick dinner with Dr. Vet (ie:Will’s brother) sleep for 4 hours, drive 2 more hours to get to Waco, watch the game, and turn straight around and drive 32 hours to get home and clean poop off four dogs’ butts- kind of way.

Yeah, fun in that sort of way.

Okay, I’m exaggerating a little lot. I had a good time, it just went very fast! A win is always fun.

I will now stop talking about OU football. I will NOT- I repeat will not- go on and on for 4 hours about how I’m totally nervous about OU-Texas next week,

and how I’m so stoked about eating a fried snickers and complaining about being fat,

or meeting up with my ex-blogger friend Sarah for a corn dog at halftime,

or stressing out over each punt the Sooners have to kick, or any point Texas puts on the board.

I refuse.

Ha-

I said “stoked.”

Pretty sure that’s on a list of Things to NEVER EVER Say Again.

Ever.

Sorry about that.

Stoked…

What was I thinking?

There are many, many times throughout the day when I think I really need to begin a list of words I hate. P and I talk about starting this list ALL THE FREAKING TIME, but never do and then I end up forgetting some of the words that I hate until I hear someone use them in a sentence- which in most cases causes me to break out into a disgusting upper lip sweat.

Words I hate.

There are so many. So very many…

Just a few basic ones include:

raunchy

mole

herbs

stinky

ranch

feet

bean

grease

Ew. That’s so freaking disgusting. Those aren’t even my good ones. There are so many more.

I kind of froze when I realized I was blogging about something so stupid, so my best words are tucked away in the educated part of my brain-

because everyone knows I do not use that part of my brain when I compose these lovely little morsels of fantastic-ness I call “posts.”

Ha.

Okay guys, so you all have to leave a word you hate in the comments block so I can add them to my list and begin my petition to outlaw these words from every day vocabulary.

Yeah- freedom of speech proponent, that’s me.

Okay, enough about all that crap…

I added pictures not once but twice to my flickr account this week- impressive right?

I go over a week without blogging, but darnit, those pictures are going to get posted!

Oh, speaking of the lapse- followed by my last post of nothingness- yeah, you’re not going to have to suffer through one of my saddy-whiney posts (ha- not right now, anyway) as I mentioned before. I think I had built everything up, and composed the post in my head so many times, that there wasn’t really a need to actually follow through and type it out because it had been mulled around for days and days to the point where sitting down to right something really wouldn’t do my feelings justice.

Hello run-on sentence!

Anyway, no boo-hoo post (for now). You’ve been spared.

As for other things, I really need to clean my house.

I have this awful fault of feeling the need to stress out loud (and yes, I harbor feelings of stress about the state of my house, even though most would consider it clean).

Not only do I feel the need to stress out loud, but I also feel the need to do so over and over and over.

Oh- and that goes for everything.

P and I have this same weird quark. We find ourselves repeating things to others all the time and driving them crazy. For instance- if I’m eating a piece of cake and love it, I’ll rave on and on until someone wants to smear it all over my bangs. Or if we ate something really bad, P and I will go on for hours about how sick and large we feel.

We’re seriously weirdos.

Anyway- now that you have yet another confirmation of my strange ways- the house.

Needs cleaning.

Slightly stressing.

I don’t plan on doing anything tonight because frankly, it’s been a very long 30 hours and I’m ready to sleep. Tomorrow we’re going to to ANOTHER church, and perhaps after that (and after I go to the gym to run my chick-fil-a, ice cream, candy bar, etc, etc,etc off from this weekend) I will take care of the house.

Ranjii! I miss thee!

Sigh…

Why can’t we find cheap labor around here?

Ha- laws.

And rights.

That’s why.

Yay for the freedom to say awful words like “raunchy” and “bean” and also get paid decent wages.

I still sometimes forget I’m living somewhere so great.

But seriously, Ranjii?

Call me.

What else??…

Church.

New one.

Will and I have sucked with church lately (sucked with church… hmm, that’s a new phrase). This summer has been a freaking whirlwind.

Whirlwind.

What’s worse than that?

...

I can’t think of anything right now.

Whatever the case, this summer was- whatever’s worse than a whirlwind.

We arrived in America on memorial day and had to immediately start house hunting so we would have a place when I started work.

I started work on 9 June and lived with the inlaws until the 30th, which was the day we closed on our house.

3 days later, on the 3rd, my sister arrived and stayed 2 weeks.

2 weeks after that, I went on my cruise!

I got back on the 26th and the following weekend (I think!) Will was off to Indianapolis for his game.

Followed by a week off (I think...)

And then my dad visited,

followed by my mom & sister’s visit.

WOW! I’m tired just typing.

Anyway, it’s been a busy summer full of travelling, visitors, and oh yeah- a huge move across the world!

We’ve tried 2 churches, but I still want to try one or two more, so we’re going to do just that tomorrow. I just really want to get plugged in somewhere, so hopefully we like this place. We’re just going to service tomorrow and based on that we’ll decide about Sunday School.

Ha Sunday School. I think most people have transitioned to calling it Bible Study nowadays. Sunday School sounds so… hard.

Anyway, That’s that.

I already mentioned feeling chubby this weekend, right?

Darn.

See? Told you I obsessively repeat myself.

Wow.

I think I’ve reached the end of my ramblings.

What else can I possibly say to make you beat your head in the wall any harder?

(this is getting really long, right?)

Okay, I’ll wrap it up- but only if you tell me some of the words you hate too!

Ready? Set? Go!

It’s been over a week since my last post so I feel the giant need to post something- anything- so that a 9 day old post isn’t sadly hanging on to dear life any longer.

Sorry I’ve been MIA the last week, my mom and sister were in town. It was so wonderful, guys. It was the best.

It’s been hard having them gone- I miss them already! I hope to post pictures in the coming days, as well as post a really annoying bleeding heart type post.

Because I KNOW how my bloggy friends LOVE when I whine and cry.

Right?

Ha.

Will and I are off to Waco tomorrow.

I have absolutely no idea why.

Why?

Why would we drive all the way down there to see a game we’re sure to win?

(knock on wood)

(knocking on wood more...)

(one more time for good measure...)

Anyway, I’ll be out and about in the big town of the Baylor Bears this weekend, but I hope to post soon.

Like I said- I simply had to post something.

Aw, what a committed blogger right? (ha)

Yeah that whole picture update thing little miss P promised earlier this week?

She was off her rocker.

The truth is that I’m back- but not with pictures.

Yes, finally back.

It’s funny to me how I can keep in contact with you guys so much better across an ocean. Here I am in your backyard and can’t even log in to say, “Hey! I’m alive!

This is the first time i’ve been on the computer since the last time.

(ha ha)

Which was the last time I posted… whenever that was. I literally didn’t check my email for like 4 weeks.

It was amazingly liberating

and stressful.

In fact, I even dreamed about it-

not checking my email.

Crazy right?

Things have just been a whilwind lately.

I’m still adjusting to life back home, getting used to some of the things I wasn’t accustomed to for the past 3 years (ahem- cleaning my own house and pumping my own gas- ahem- SPOILED).

I bid my sister farewell this morning and it really hurt. Thankfully i’ll be seeing her soon (remember! We’re taking an extremely long and amazing cruise- YAY!). However, saying goodbye was still hard because it’s a reminder of the fact that i’ll have to say goodbye again soon and that time it will be for a long time.

Ugh.

Let’s not be a downer, right?

Having here was amazing.

A-Freaking-Mazing.

We had so much fun. Granted I had to work each day, and granted we didn’t do anything super outrageous or fun, but just having her here was so nice.

So that was my big news.

Oh and by the way- thanks so much for welcoming her to the blog world! I tell her all the time she should blog. She’s such a good writer. Ha ha apparently I am too because some of you thought I was posing as dear old P. ha ha. It was her- it really was. I felt so bad for my slackerness that I told her to guest blog. She needs a regular spot as far as I’m concerned.

Hmm.. Tuesdays with P?

It has a ring to it.

Oh- and she has her license- which TOTALLY deserves a blog post! C’mon P- at least guest blog on mine so you can tell the license story. Pretty please?

I won’t tell you guys anything just in case she decides to share…

Alright moving along (at least until I can convince Miss P to blog anyway)

We’re becoming a petting zoo here at the B-Love house.

We’re buying 2 more dogs.

Yes- come bring your kids, they can feed the animals at the freaking zoo!!

These dogs, unlike boz and lucy, will be exclusively outside doggies.

So I guess it’s not total petting zooish, right?

I’m excited- mostly excited for Will because as long as I’ve known him he’s wanted 2 big dogs and now that we have a house and a yard we can finally do it.

Rocky and Teddy.

Those names don’t mean much unless you’re an OU fan.

We officially have all 3 Butkus Award Winners in our house- Boz (Brian Bosworth), Rocky (Rocky Calmus), and Teddy (Teddy Lehman)

Yeah- my husband is obsessed.

Ya think?

Hey- marriage is a compromise and I figured this one wasn’t worth fighting.

We’re getting a male Rott and a female lab. Will found these amazing red labs, they’re so unique. I guess that’s originally how they looked in England before they came to America. Sadly, I think I’ll be on my trip when it’s time to get both of them. :( I wanted to be there to pick them out, but I guess I’ll have something nice waiting for me.

Hmm- is that all the “big news” I have to share? I think so.

Okay, so now that I’m a little more settled I’ve been thinking.

Can we just start fresh?

I mean, there is absolutely no way I can get out of blog commenting debt- no way at all. I would totally need to take out a blog commenting loan in which I would hire people to pose as me and write nice little comments on your blog- and I don’t want to do that because I like you and don’t want our friendship to be based on blog commenting lies! Right!?!

Exactly.

So here’s what I’m thinking. I’m thinking of starting clean.

A blog salvation if you will (ha ha).

In which my debts are cleared and I can start commenting from X point on (like soon).

Deal?

Deal (at least… that’s what I envision you guys saying because I envision you guys as niceys and not comment whores. Right? Right??… hmm...).

So here’s the deal- I’m going to turn comments back on in September.

AGH! September- YES! I will be MIA for a little while longer, but still posting more often than before.

See- I’ll be on the cruise.

I told you guys it was long, didn’t I?

I wasn’t lying.

Um.. but I’ll throw in house pictures soon??

Ha- yeah because THAT makes it all better, right?

Hello! My name is Britthy and I’m a super sucky friend.

I totally deserve a t-shirt.

Wait- don’t do that.

But seriously? I’m wearing a big imaginary one right now.

As for things in my life…

They’re going good.

Goodish.

I won’t lie. I miss the way things were, but I think that’s all apart of being a grown up and adjusting to change. Perhaps we’ll talk about that in another post- one that’s not so full of randomness.

Things with the house are slowly coming together and I’m continually wishing the tiny bush out back were instead a money tree in which I could go out and pick big bills off it’s branches to buy all the pretty things for my house.

Oh magic beans.

I’d be fine with those too.

We’re starting to look for churches which is… fun?

Painful?

Stressful?

Full of blessings?

I guess all of the above applies. I just want to find one already!

?

Jumping from magic beans to churches. Should I have seperated my post with little stars to warn you of big random topic changes?

Probably.

Oh well… it’s just good for me to finally get back to doing something I love.

I hope you all had a nice weekend.

Back to work tomorrow.

That’s one thing I’ve noticed about being back in America. The weekends seem to go a lot faster! I guess because they’re full of busyness.

Anyhow, I’m back and hope to be blogging a little more regularly prior to my departure on the big sea!

thanks again for welcoming P, it made me feel really loved.

<3 and another normal week begins…

Hi! It’s P. P the sister of B (rittny). Yes, it’s really me! I know you’ve been anticipating “meeting” me since Britt first posted about our marshmallow escapades two summers ago at about this time. Well, fast-forward a few summers, a couple of continents, and about four thousand 1 oz. servings of marshmallows later and, ta-da! It seems we’re kind of back where we started. Except for I’m a new high school graduate turned gypsy who has undoubtedly found myself living, observing, and worrying about my sister’s new home…and life in America.

No no, silly girls, it’s not like that. There haven’t been any threats on my beautiful B (to quote Jay-Z) and I haven’t given her a curfew or anything like that. It’s just, watching her adjust to life back here in America is kind of frightening. But oh so exhilarating too! There are hundreds of things she can do now! She’s able to buy pork (ew) in public! There’s no need for shifty expressions while hiding a whole honey-cured ham under a jacket anymore. (Even though I don’t recall anytime when she did really this. Actually, I’d probably be too embarrassed to even claim her as my sister if she did do this). She can also walk around the supermarket in a pair of 10-year-old Abercrombie cut-offs and an XXS Limited cami if she wants! (Even though I don’t recall anytime when she really did this. Actually, I’d probably be too embarrassed to even claim her as my sister if she did do this.)

All joking and my ADHD aside, I kind of really loved having my sister in Kuwait. Yes, I know that’s incredibly selfish since her hyperhidrosis (um, Britt, am I allowed to mention this to your friends?) kicked in .43 seconds after she would step outside everyday and because the people she worked with were incredibly classless and because on occasion, she got flicked off while trying to go out for a nice meal with her cute little sister. But I can’t help wanting to secretly book her a flight back to Kuwait every Monday as I look at PostSecret and read all of the creepy weird things that American “crazies” do. Like the guy on this week’s page who likes to “Eat the last page of a really good book”. Seriously mister psycho librarian man (PLM)? Please tell me Mr. PLM that you do not live in the Oklahoma City Metro area? Pretty please? Because if you do, that’s one more reason for me to put B on a curfew.

Every time I read PostSecret it seems to scream at me “Don’t live in America! Don’t let Brittny live in America! These people, they’re mad!” Not all of you of course, I mean, I’m a proud navy blue passport-carrying person myself. And isn’t it sad how a few people who send secrets to Germantown, Maryland almost sent me boycotting my sister’s return to America? But since my picketing skills are ridiculously lame, I was forced to let her board her plane and set up camp in the heartland. She’s happy-Ulta and Taco Bueno are mere minutes from her home, the boy is happy-OU football season is just around the corner and Boz and Lucy, um, they’re freaking loving the grass. The backyard kind.

So maybe I’m the overprotective, paranoid one worrying about her. She’s probably totally over the fact that Mr. PLM may be standing behind her at Barnes & Noble. And yes, she’s completely distraught over the fact that she has to clean her own house now and the fact that familial drop-ins will be come a norm but for the most part (not completely!), she’s happy that her 40 days in the desert are terminé. I guess if you love someone you have to let them go.

I must go recover from hyperventilating over the fact that I just used the most awful cliché in my first guest-post. Please forgive me. Everyone. Even you, the PostSecret sender or you, the PostSecret lurker, yes, even you.

xo,
P

(And for those of you who are racking your brains to think of what my name is, I’ll give you a hint…it’s not Penny. Or Peggy. Or Penelope. It actually, gasp!, starts with a C.)

Oh heavens.

I just sit down to write a big long quality post (ha) and then I get beckoned by my husband to do something highly important.

Beckoned.

Does anyone say that anymore?

I just said “oh heavens” too.

Please, please send me back to Kuwait.

It’s happening.

The rednecks are infiltrating my life. Stop the madness!

Okay, anyway…

This week I decided something very important:

I can’t trust anyone for advice except for my sister.

Yep. It’s true.

I get so tired of the stuff people tell you to do that they’d actually never do themselves, you know? “Oh you should totally talk to that major hot guy, Sue. So what that you have 57 cats crawling around your studio apartment and you haven’t showered in 3 days. Go! Go flirt with that guy!”

Okay- we all know how the above story is going to end, so why give poor Sue such awful advice!? So she can go hide in her cat menagerie for the next 3 years!?

Alright, so you get my point. I like people that give real, raw advice.

Such as, “Sue. You can’t go talk to that guy. You must first shower and board 53 of your cats because your studio apartment smells like cat piss.”

here’s the story…

So I’m still new at work. Not only that, but I don’t really know anyone in the area where we live. So- yeah, I’m pretty much a bonafide new kid loser that sits in the corner of the office eating paste.

Well, not really- but you know the type- and apparently I’m becoming the type.

Anyway, so I brought leftovers for lunch a couple of days ago. No big deal, right?

Oh guys, I almost had a freaking panic attack! I literally had a crisis at my desk. It was sort of like this-

Do I go heat up my lunch and eat in the break room ALL ALONE like a paste eating loner loser

OR

do I heat up my lunch in the break room and bring it back to my cube and stink up the joint because I’m too afraid to eat ALL ALONE where I should?

Crisis, guys! Crisis!

So- I turn to my only reliable source of sound advice: P.

See, P fully understands my odd ways. Most people would be all positive and cutesy and “You can do it! Go eat in the break room! It’s not loserish. It’s cool! In fact- maybe you’ll make a friend!”

P? yeah, she’s not like that. She’s practical and useful. We sent several texts back and forth. They’re displayed for you below:

Me: Okay so I feel like an idiot. I brought my lunch but I have to heat it up. I don’t want to sit alone in the break room like a loser but I also don’t want to sit at my desk and smell up the office! I so wish you were here. Can you believe I might skip lunch because I’m a moron? What should I do!?

P: As must as I would love you to fill up your tummy, I think it might be awkward if you eat by yourself alone in there. Maybe just a granola bar today? ha ha. In a week once you’re moved in you can avoid these situations by quickly driving home and eating with me and Willy!

Me: Yeah I know. I was thinking the same thing. I love when you give advice. It’s not that positive crap everyone else gives. It’s actually helpful. Off to get my granola!

P: I know. We can never trust real people for advice. Maybe this is the time to start smoking so you can leave the office.

ha ha, totally kidding.

Aw sisters, they’re so great. Solving my problems with lung cancer. Gotta love her.

PS: I totally ate a granola bar by the way. Which is loserish in it’s own right but not as bad as the two options above. Yesterday I went out with my boss and coworker and that was nice. Not loserish at all.

Want to meet for lunch next week so you can rescue me from my cubicle awkwardness?

We lost the house.

All because of The Realtor.

I get so angry even thinking about her. This woman literally cost us a house. A HOUSE!

My heart is sad. In fact, up until last night I thought I’d be okay if I found out it didn’t go our way.

I was wrong.

I cried and told Will how I imagine us living in that house. How that house seemed to represent so much more than just being a shell to live in. It was like our new start.

I forgot to tell you guys the coolest part too- it was 2 doors down from Will’s old youth minister and mentor. How cool, right?

It just seemed so perfect, like such a “God thing,” so it was such a blow when we got this news yesterday.

So, today we’re entering the world of apartments, which I hate.

It’s like we took this giant step forward to move home, but are taking 5 steps back now.

I dread the thought of moving into an apartment and then a year down the road moving out. I hate moving.

I loathe moving.

So- that’s the update. We’ll be apartment dwellers by the end of this week (hopefully), and I feel so sad. Why would God allow this all to seem to go so smoothly until the end? It all just seemed so perfect.What a bummer. I just don’t understand.

I’m off for now. Again (for the 33rd time), I’m so very sorry for not commenting lately. I really hope to have real some computer time in the coming weeks. I promise to catch up with you guys. I miss “talking.”

Wish us luck…