The above number is the high today.

It’s only March.

I need to go cry now…

and reapply my deoderant. 

Yesterday my 18 year old sister left her older sister-who has a degree and graduated with honors- a comment that had the word “cap-a-pie” in it.

Uh yeah- what the crap does THAT mean aside from the fact that I’m a moron!?

Apparently it means from head to toe.

I’m a smartie too now. P, I think we need to implement a word of the day. 

I hate swallowing pills. HATE it. So, Flintstone vitamins seemed to be a good idea at the time.

However, 6 months later and only half a bottle consumed and I’m starting to rethink the whole swallowing pills thing.

Flintstones seemed to be like candy when I was 6.

Now they seem to be like grainy chalk with a hint of questionable metallic flavor.

What happened!?

WIIIIIL-MA!?

I LOVE you Wilma, but you’ve let me down. 

Random Thoughts Today.

Hmm, might we classify this as a Series of Short Posts kind of thing only condensed into one big post?

Perhaps.

We don’t want to get too wild though. Maybe we’ll just classify it as “a lot of stupid things on my mind that probably ought to be posted one at a time but because the blogger is lazy (and feeling slightly chubby today) it’s lumped into one big bowl of mush.”

Don’t they call that “The kitchen floor dish” at restaurants? You know- putting everything into one bowl or on one pizza, etc?

Yuck. No kitchen floor for me, please!

Okay, let’s see. Here are some random things I’ve been thinking about today. Subject changes are identified in bold.

The cruise.

I’ve wanted to post about this topic for a while, but I’m such a goody too shoes that I’ve been afraid to. See, growing up my whole life I was told that drinking of any kind was a total sin and you would be judged and might even turn into a shriveled grape! However, as I’ve gotten older my mind has slightly changed. No, I’m no wine-o at all, don’t worry about that. It’s something I ought to pray more on before I make a final decision, but anyway that’s another post for another day.

Crap… I’m getting really sidetracked.

Anyway, I didn’t want to post about it because I know there are lot of my fellow sisters in Christ that probably have their own view on the subject- some of which know me in “real life” and would go back and report to my pastor that I’ve fallen away and that the deacons need to come lay hands and pray over me.

Jacqueline, Lyna, Megan? Yeah- that would be you guys. Do you guys think I’m a heathen now?

Anyway, back to the matter at hand. I didn’t want to post about it all because it’s such a controversial topic. Plus, as an ordained minister’s wife it’s even touchier. I didn’t feel like having to defend my views or having to worry if I were “causing a sister to stumble” so I haven’t posted on it. However, what the hey- let’s truck on. Don’t judge me.

There is this excursion that sounds amazing! It’s at one of our Italy stops. You can cook dinner with a chef from the area and then visit the vineyards, which also includes a complimentary wine tasting. Do you see where I’m going with this? Anyway, I’m trying to see if P will be able to go since she’ll be 18 and legal in Italy. I’ve sent two emails and have heard nothing. I want us to book a few excursions in the coming weeks just to take care of them, but not knowing if she’ll be legal is cumbersome to the process.

Sheesh. You see that paragraph above? Yeah that was the whole point of what I wanted to say. Unfortunately it took me about 2,000 words of tiptoeing to get there. My goodness. I’m a nerd sometimes. I really am.

Anyway, do any of you guys have a cruise experience with someone under 21? Apparently the cruise line is too busy sewing show dresses out of my down payment to answer.

Alright, now that you guys think I’m an alcoholic let’s move on.

Mika.

I have the Big Girl You Are Beautiful song stuck in my head. Which is making me feel even chubbier today. Hmm, perhaps that is why I’m feeling that way. It’s also making me hungry. Explain how THAT makes sense- feeling chubby but hungry at the same time?

We need to find another song to hum this afternoon. Let’s think on that.

Today I got to have lunch with my mom and a lady she works with, so that was nice. This lady is so beautiful. Even in the middle of summer not a hair is out of place and she never sweats (maybe she’s got magical powers! I could have used her yesterday).

Anyway, I brought my lunch from home and I was going to go with them to get something. we went to a coffee place to sit and I was like, “Aren’t you going to get something?” and she was like, “Coffee IS lunch.” Ha ha, then she drank a coffee and smoked a cigarette and was done with it. I guess she’s on the smoking diet because she’s super small. I don’t know why I told you that, but I thought it was funny. She was so matter of fact about how “duh, Brittny! Coffee IS a meal!” silly me. Perhaps that’s what I need to be doing to lose weight. Eating healthy is so not in anymore. ha ha

Ooh! Speaking of eating healthy, you ladies (and gents… if any of you are our there) need to join me and my other beautiful blogging friends! We’re in a Blogging Sparkpeople Group! What a fun idea, right? I did mention that I was feeling lazy (and chubby) today, right? Yeah. About right _________ there is where I would have given you the link. Only, yeah, not today. If you want some information let me know and I’ll send the link.

I figured this cruise to be the perfect motivation to lose those last few pounds I’ve wanted to get rid of.

Fun fact!

I haven’t been in a swimsuit since 2005.

Yes.

You read right.

2005.

Wait!

Retraction.

I did once this past August when Will was home and I stayed with my family. They used to be members at a resort and I wore one for about 45 minutes. It just that public beaches don’t really like women prancing around in swimsuits. There are plenty of private beaches, but Will isn’t a beach person at all, so we never go. It’s not that I hate being in a suit (okay, yeah, it’s probably a little of that too.), it’s just that Will doesn’t we don’t do water.

So, I figured I’d be spending some time in a suit on the cruise. I also figured that since my sister is freaking hot (am I allowed to say that? I used to date a guy that joked about himself saying, “My sister is hot… and I look just like her.” Ha ha. I always thought that was totally vain, and I would never say that because, quite honestly, I don’t think my sister and I look anything alike!”) I ought to at least try to look acceptable when I stand next to her! Ha ha. My pasty whiteness isn’t going to do me any favors either. So, I’m going to really buckle so come this summer I feel more confident in a swimsuit.

Although, aside from about 6 women worldwide, does anyone really get excited about parading around in a bikini? Oh- and living in Kuwait has TOTALLY screwed me up.

That’s the real root of the whole problem.

I mean, I see a woman in shorts and a halter and I seriously think to myself, “Uh- trampy!” ha ha, which in actuality that is totally acceptable clothing in the states. I haven’t worn shorts in public in years either! I’m telling you- this place has made me weird. The thought of wearing a swimsuit makes me feel totally sleazy. Ha ha! I’m telling you Kuwait is jacking me up!

My sister got back from New York yesterday. I think we’re going out for sushi tomorrow to celebrate her birthday. Will (and the rest of my family) was THRILLED with her restaurant choice. Lucky for them, the also offer food off their grill, so my family will not starve. My mom is getting some fancy cake she requested too, so that will be nice. I can’t wait to hear about her trip.

Tomorrow Bozzy Wozzy goes under the knife. Let’s just hope this time its the real deal. I expect him to come out barking in soprano, dang it!

I’m not sure if you guys remember or not, but when I first got here I was really lonely. I desperately wanted a good friend. Well, that never happened! I used to pray for it all the time, but I never got that friend I wanted so badly. For some reason I stopped praying for that over the years, however, as I continue to do my PDL I realize that it would be nice to have a good Christian friend here. Finding that here is certainly something only God could do. I decided to start praying for a friend here. I’ll keep you posted.

What else?…

Wow, has it really happened? I’ve finally run out of things to yammer about today? Apparently so. I really should have kept each topic in my pockets so I would have had a week’s worth of information to post about.... bummer. Oh well, we’ve come this far. Might as well make it some giant post.

Because nothing is greater than being incredibly bored and reading 34 paragraphs about someone else’s boring life too, right? ha ha

If you’ve reached the end, you’re a warrior. Go do something incredibly barbaric and uh, warriorish and visit tomorrow.

<3

Please donate to the P n B cruise fund.

Pretty please with pink sprinkles on top.

So you book the cruise of your dreams and you’re all, “Wow, this is a good deal for all we get!”

Then you start looking at airfare and are like, “Mmm, well, it’s a once in a lifetime trip. It’s okay that it’s adding up a little.”

Then you look at the freaking excursions and crap yourself (or as Mrs. M says, you tinkle on your leg).

Guys- they’re so expensive! That was the deal breaker. Will was only going to let me and P go by ourselves as long as we went on the group excursions.

Fine. In fact, I was excited about them!

Then I looked up how much 53 excursions are going to cost (alright, I’m exaggerating on the 53 thing) and had to walk to the BIDFY.

Very carefully. 

They turned the AC on. Hmm, do you think they read my blog?

Or maybe they saw the puddle under my chair…

Last night the busiest highway in Kuwait fell prey to psycho teenagers celebrating Liberation Day and National Day.

Cars were literally parked in lanes of the highway and people were wearing freaky masks running up and down THE FREAKING HIGHWAY silly stringing cars. Seriously guys it was scary and pandemonium. I retract the “Oh, I love how Kuwait celebrates” crap.

The police issued hundreds of citations last night. Yeah 5 bucks says that’s not going to stop those crazies tonight. 

Okay Guys- please be sure to say hello to God today.

I’m doing Purpose Driven Life again this year and am once again reminded that to be more intimate with God we need to be more aware of the fact that He is always with us.

So, I’ve been really trying to take him everywhere. I even made Will tell him hello at dinner the other night. I know it sounds silly, but it’s been this open-ended conversation for about a week now and it’s really nice.

Although, I think people think I’m slightly schizo when I’m talking “to myself” when I’m in the car.

So- tell God hi in the Share the Love block!

It is sweltering in my office and it’s getting me so angry! The ladies in my office keep it so hot in here! I’m literally sweating, which is really embarrassing! You’d think they’d get the hint considering I’m fanning myself with a

BRIGHT

FOLDER.

It’s like the sun, waving back and forth- trying to get their attention. Only it’s not working.

I’ve wanted to post a big, long post about this very subject, but every time I start it gets me even hotter and madder so I just log off.

SWEATINESS GUYS! SWEATINESS!

My sister is going to New York for a week next Friday. The kids here get 10 days off for a Kuwaiti holiday (!) so she’s off to meet up with some of the girls she paged with last summer.

Uh- how come our parents never let us do stuff like that when we were teens? I swear the first child is just a test run!