It is sweltering in my office and it’s getting me so angry! The ladies in my office keep it so hot in here! I’m literally sweating, which is really embarrassing! You’d think they’d get the hint considering I’m fanning myself with a

BRIGHT

FOLDER.

It’s like the sun, waving back and forth- trying to get their attention. Only it’s not working.

I’ve wanted to post a big, long post about this very subject, but every time I start it gets me even hotter and madder so I just log off.

SWEATINESS GUYS! SWEATINESS!

We found the cruise! Now we just need to book. Have I mentioned how excited I am about this trip? Between you and me- I must admit, I’m a LOT tad stressed about having to be the responsible one on this trip. Will always keeps track of everything when we travel. This time I have to be Will! AHHHH!

First and foremost, thank you for “sharing the love” yesterday. I needed it.

Do you ever wish you could just rally all of us together onto Wisteria Lane- minus all the constant backstabbing and drama of course- and just live in a cute little community all in a row? Maybe I’m a bit over the edge on that one, but hey- I think it could be fun. I heart you guys, I really do.

Alright, enough with the mushy crap- let’s get started.

I’m sitting here at work today waiting.

I’ve officially realized what my REAL job title is!

I’m a Waitress!

I’m responsible for being incredibly nice, cordial, and submissive to my menopausal always changing never constant customer.

“Good morning sir, what can I get for you?”

“What can you get for me? I’ll tell you what you can get for me! How about a new face!”

“Yes, sir, right away sir.”

“You can also bring me a side of beef- not too done, but not too rare- but NOT medium, an iced tea with crushed ice, two baked potatoes with the skin removed, and a side of truffles- the mushroom kind!!”

“Uh, we don’t carry truffles. They’re rare and expensive.”

“Well then GET THEM!”

“Um, I think pigs crawl around in the heart of France sniffing them out.”

“Well you better get on a plane and get to sniffing! Oh- and I need to eat this in less than an hour.”

OR it goes like this:

“Hello sir, what can I get for you today?”

“Give me a few minutes to get back to you.”

“No problem.”

Repeat 5 minutes later.

Repeat again 5 minutes later.

Repeat.

Repeat.

REPEAT.

REFREAKINGPEAT.

Sometimes it goes like this:

“Hello sir, what can I get for you?”

“How about the special?”

“Coming right up!”

…waiting for the cook to prepare…

“Dinner is served, sir!”

“Hmm, well… now that I think about it- I don’t want the special anymore. Can you make me the lamb?”

“Coming right up!”

…waiting for the cook to prepare…

“Dinner is served, sir!”

“Hmm, this looks great, but you know… the beef sounds better. How about the beef?”

This goes on and on- preparing everything to the customer’s EXACT requests only to be asked for something else again

And again

And again

And AFREAKINGAIN!

I also have to clean up a lot of crappy messes- think a table full of rowdy junior high boys that just lost their season’s softball championship and are out to destroy everything in sight- while eating a huge plate of spaghetti on white linen tablecloths.

Cleaning. Lots of cleaning. Maybe I’m also a janitor…

Hey, I don’t even have to mention the waitress pay do I?

Alright I could go on and on about this (I’m actually having a lot of fun drawing comparisons!), but it’s time for me to leave (yay!). I should have saved this post for a day when I had time to think of all the other similarities! Oh well.

It’s your turn! What’s your “real” job??

The Good

P and I are going out tomorrow night. We’re going to have sushi- something I’ve never tried and have had no desire to try. I’m taking one for the team tomorrow. Hopefully I won’t spend the evening hurled over the toilet with projectile vomiting. I’m looking forward to this time with P. There won’t be many more opportunities like this and I really need to make the most of them while she’s 20 minutes away instead of 8,000 miles away.

The Bad

I have to work the weekend- again. I’m truly getting disgusted with work. It makes me feel sick to my stomach and I spend most of the day totally pissed off at the world. I hate that. That’s not who I am. Today has been a bad day. Long story short: I have to come in tomorrow to wait God knows how long on someone else to complete their part of a project when I already did mine. Then I have to assemble the thing and submit it. What a stupid waste of time. Can I tell you how tired I am of feeling this way? It’s not so much having to work all these hours (okay- a lot of it is), but it’s also so much more I just don’t feel right sharing on my blog. There’s so much stupid crap going on and I hate it all. I wish I could just call you guys up and tell you the whole story, but since I can’t I have to focus on the only bad part I feel I can share- the stupid piece of crap hours.

The Ugly

Here’s the kicker (this day gets better and better)- Will called and told me we have to move!

I seriously about lost it right there on the phone.

I’m already feeling fragile today, and this news just about pushed me over the edge. To make matters worse, I was totally ugly to Will because of my already bad mood and I was snippy with him on the phone. I hate that! Why was I such a grump to my poor Will today? There was no need for that. I totally let my frustration with today carry over into our conversation and I feel lousy for it.

Anyway- Will got a call from the housing manager today saying they’re refurbishing our apartment complex (good!), but that they aren’t going to allow dogs anymore (bad… very bad and ugly and terrible and no good- just awful). So- they’re booting all of us dog lovers out.

I’m totally bummed. I really love our apartment. I love it so much. Granted, it’s not home, but it’s our little refuge from the chaos of life here. It’s our secret hideout and they’re taking it away. This is the place we’ve lived the longest since we’ve been married. It’s going to be sad to move and go somewhere else.

Not to mention we’ve acquired a TON of crap during our three years here. Moving is going to be

SO

MUCH

FUN

YAY!

Moving is going to be a major pain in the butt. Especially into an apartment complex where everything has to be transported via a tiny elevator in a thousand trips. The sheer thought really stresses me. We’re going to talk about it this weekend and see what we think the best move is to make. We will have about a month, but I told Will we might as well see what’s available now and maybe move in the next few weeks.

What a serious bummer.

Another major downer is that I live close to my gym, and it’s incredibly convenient. I already paid through September because it’s cheaper to pay for a year than to pay by the month. For all of you that live in congested cities you know what a pain it is to get out at night and fight traffic to go anywhere. When we get home, we stay home. I’m definitely going to be losing money on my gym membership, even if I’m able to make it once or twice a week. FRUSTRATION guys! Frustration.

I’ll probably look back tomorrow and see what a drama queen I’m being about everything and be annoyed with myself. Today, however, I’m giving myself a free pass to whine and vent. So, please feel free to roll your eye over my crises. If I were you, I would too. I sound like Chicken Little today don’t I? “The sky is falling! The sky is falling!” I realize these issues are so minor in the grand scheme of life, but I truly felt the need just to let everything out- and this is my choice venue.

I’m so ready to skip over tomorrow (minus dinner with P-dub). Heck- I’m ready to skip over the moving part and just be moved in. Okay, I’m getting all Adam Sandler and Click on you guys. I don’t really mean that. I just feel as though I am not myself at this place (work). I’m some quiet person with a terrible attitude. Granted, I rarely show that side, but it’s how I feel on the inside which is just as bad. Yesterday I prayed that God would simply just do what is best for me- whatever that is. That may not mean it’s what I think is best. I just have to continue to pray that God would do what’s best for me and take care of everything.

I just feel emotional (and fat) today- as you probably gathered. The house thing, the whole gym issue, work… I just want to go home and have a weekend to hide away and I won’t even get that. I feel totally blah today, which I believe is allowed from time to time, right? It’s got to be in some woman book of laws somewhere. I’m certain.

Thanks for listening to me vent. I know how much people LOVE reading about other people’s problems when they’ve got their own to deal with (ha).

<3

I swear, my dogs’ mission in life is to turn our house upside down on the exact day our cleaning lady comes. I’m hesitant to say that dogs are geniuses, but guys-my dogs are.

Geniuses.

Yep. I’m not lying. Okay maybe a little. Boz is, quite honestly, mentally challenged (seriously- I’m not kidding. The guy’s play mechanism is kaput. We’ll throw a ball his way and he just stands there, cocks his head and looks at me as if I’m a complete moron- as if to say, “Why in the crap are you throwing stuff at me, you idiot?” We try to play with stuffed animals and he runs away as if a rabid hyena is the hand behind the stuffed animal and is surely reeling him in to EAT LITTLE BOZZY’S TAIL- OH MY! See what I’m saying?) Poor Boz, he’s broken but we love him anyway. Boz is kind of like Spongebob’s sidekick Patrick, or any other not-so-smart sidekick in history. Lucy is the brains of the operation, and he’s the one that follows behind and does whatever she says.

However, when it comes to tearing up the house- he’s a genius. Just like Lucy-Goosey.

It’s as if they conspire all day long, and each hour passes that I’m not home is another hour they stew and scheme and make fun of what I wore that day.

“Ahahaha, Boz, can you believe she went out of the house donning ( yes, Lucy even says fancy words like donning) those dangle-y earrings with that shirt? Uh- it’s a bit much if you ask me. I feel sorry for those pants too! I think she exaggerated a bit with the weight she gained on vacation WHILE WE WERE STUCK IN Q-8 YOU SORRY PIECE OF CRAP EXCUSE FOR A MOTHER!”

Boz is all, “Duuuhh yeah!” and then erupts into that terrible Patrick-like laugh.

After they make fun of my attire, they continue to pace and growl and be the vicious dogs maltese are known to be:

“How could she leave us locked up in this spare bathroom all day, Boz?”

“Duuh- we’re in a bathroom?”

“She must pay! She must suffer! Boz we have to revolt! Revolt I say! Do you have the number to the NAACP?”

“?”

“Do I have to do everything myself!? Geez!”

“Crap, Boz. I’m too small to reach the phonebook. We’ve gotta do something- we just gotta! This is a human rights violation, Boz, and I won’t stand for it!”

“Guuh- I thought we were dogs.”

“Oh nevermind! Think Boz, Think.”

“…”

“Okay- I guess this is on me,” Lucy says.

“I know! We’ll drive her crazy with our stinkiness!”

“Duuh. I like being stinky. Stinky is fun!”

“Yeah- stinky IS fun, Boz!

We’ll make her go crazy by peeing and pooping on the

Same

Exact

‘Random’

Spot

Every.

Single.

Day.

Brilliant!”

“Duuuh. That’s smart, Lucy. I like poop. Poop is fun. Especially to eat. Yum.”

I’m positive this is how their conversation goes. They’re slowly killing me, guys. They’re wearing me down one piece of crap at a time.

For some really strange reason they have decided that the open space in our dining room is where their new bathroom will be. Multiple times each day I find an array of feces and urine,

And it’s driving me crazy.

I can’t catch them in the act to scold them, but when I do… it could be bad guys.

I was seriously at my wit’s end the other day. I get so excited when my cleaning fairy comes to my house. It’s the highlight of my work week. However, because Boz and Lucy are conspiring against me, they know this and want to make sure my happiness disappears like a 50% off pair of black Limited trousers.

Lately it seems as soon as I get home and let them out of their room, the revolt begins. Guys- they are so naughty. I’m pretty sure I cuss 32 times and vow never to have children each day this revolt occurs.

To make matters worse, they are so cute on the nights they totally piss me off. It’s like they try to counter the attack with their cuteness. It’s painful guys.

(That’s all apart of their plan, you know.)

I would clean up one mess, and then another would follow, and then another, and another until I really started to wonder what in the world they were eating to produce so much crap! I was so grouchy and poor Will had to deal with my constant, “No! No! That’s naughty!” yells on top of a bad headache.

My house was perfect- it was the “fake house” that no one ever has in real life. However, it was quickly destroyed by Boz and Lucy’s evil plan. Why!? Why must they hate me so much? They know I love cleaning day.

So, I finally calmed down and their bodily fluids finally dried up, and all was well in the WB house once again. They continue to combat me with their crap, but this time I’m better prepared and ready to take them on.

I just wish I could be a fly on the wall. I have this really funny feeling that Lucy has sketches drawn out all over their room marking “X” where Boz needs to pee, and as soon as they hear the key hit the door they quickly transform the room back into its normal state- rotating walls, tearing down maps, and erasing tasteless caricatures of me that were drawn on the floor.

Sneaky geniuses, I tell you.

I’m watching you pups- be careful. Very careful.

(I want to let you guys know I’m just kidding about Boz- sort of. He’s not the brightest bulb in the box, but he sure is the sweetest. I’ve never seen a more loving dog. He wants nothing more than to be held and loved. He’s such a sweet boy and is a great lap dog. Don’t think I don’t love him, you crazies, I certainly do.)

I feel as though I should premise this post by saying if you’e busy today you probably should get back to what you’re doing because I’m pretty sure this post is going to be about, um, not much.

Having said that-and now that all the busy people are back on their merry way doing whatever it is they do- let’s have fun!
...

Although, we probably shouldn’t have too much fun since I just told all the busy people to get back to doing whatever it is that they do…

Can you keep a secret?

Me too.

We won’t tell the busy people that we’re going to be having SO MUCH BLOG FUN today, okay? That might make them feel bad.

And unproductive.

Anyhow- want to know another secret?

Okay- so I have this really talkative person working with me. I don’t mean- drones to you for 15 minutes about how their feet sweat really bad in dress shoes and that’s why they always wear tennis shoes.

I would welcome such chatter.

I mean talks to you

all

the

freaking

live

long

day

to the point where you (ie: ME)- the nicest person in the world- really seriously contemplates what would be more beneficial: shoving a stake in my right ear so I wouldn’t have to hear this person talk anymore (they never seem to talk to my left side...weird) OR shoving a stake through their vocal chords so the would be rendered speechless.

I’m pretty sure both would warrant jail time

or worse!

I might be suspended from my job (ahahahahaha… worse. that’s hilarious)!

Actually, the way things go around here there’s a good chance I’d be promoted.

“Brittny?”

“Yes Boss?”

“We’d like to promote you!”

“Really!? Wowie! I knew all my diligent work and long hours to the point of not recognizing my husband would finally pay off!”

“Diligent work and long hours? Uh, er, yeah. That’s it. Actually, we were really impressed with the stake through the throat trick and were hoping you could come to our next board meeting and get all Buffy the Vampire Slayer on us.”

I’m pretty sure that’s how the conversation would go.

My first day back in the office I decided that from now on I was going to be positive about my job, darn it.

5 minutes later I decided I was an idiot and should just go into survival mode.

I think The Talker might have been what put me over the edge.

But enough about mindless talk (don’t you hate when people go on an on about absolutely nothing!).

I am so mad at my keyboard, guys! Since I’ve come back it sticks all the time and I have no idea why! I’ll be typing and all of a sudden will be in CAPs for no reason, or I’ll have a string of sssssssssssssssssssss because it got stuck.

One of my coworkers was all, “Huh. That’s weird. It’s like someone spilled soda on it.”

Random. I now know why it takes me an hour to type THREE FREAKING SENTENCES!

Another coworker chimes in, “No one has touched it when you were gone.”

Uh, I’m pretty sure that’s a lie because Ms. 7-Up over there just sold you all down the river.

This keyboard situation also contributes to my lack of patience with The Talker.

Or vice versa, I haven’t made a decision.

Alright, moving on…

Want to know another secret (wow- I had no idea this post was going to be full of so many confessions!)? I was randomly on adoption.com today.

Why?

Why was I doing that?

I have absolutely no idea!

You all know I have no desire to mother children (at least for another 5 years and even then I’m not sold). Why would I do something so crazy?

I don’t know.

Ah- I remember.

It’s because on my internet’s homepage it talked about finding “free” money and somewhere in the article it talked about help for adopting parents or something like that. So- being curious- I googled the cost for adopting a chid.

See- my reasons are totally transparent and justifiable. I’m still holding strong.

If there are any comments about this venture I will fly to America, come to your house, and go Buffy the Vampire Slayer on you. I got promoted for that, you know.

Let’s see, what other pieces of useless information about my day can I tell you…

Not much. I’m having a near anxiety attack about possibly standing up for myself on a certain issue. Every time I get ready to hit send on the email, I chicken out and find an excuse not to send it. I started writing it Monday and here it is, almost Thursday and it still hasn’t gone forward. I’m such a wuss.

I need to go blow in a paper bag now. Just thinking about it gets me all sick feeling like I’m sitting outside the principal’s office and have no idea why, but know it can’t be good.

Hey- we said this was going to be a fun post! What the crap am I doing talking about gasping into a paper bag? There’s no fun in that.

Moving on-

There’s just not a whole lot worth reporting today, ladies and gentlemen (hmm, are there any guys that actually read? I don’t think so, but to be safe I must encompass all, right? I guess while I’m at it I ought to address animals, plants, the elements, and well, anything else). It rained today (see post below) and it made me incredibly happy. It’s been so long since I’ve seen Kuwait wet. I literally feel like shouting aloud the 2 whole days it rains here.

Alright, I’m starting to ramble and just when we thought this post couldn’t get any more boring- it did! I fear I did not hold up my end of the bargain when I promised SO MUCH BLOG FUN! Ha ha, oh well.

I’m off for now. Have a wonderful day!

<3

In case you have been living in a cave for the last week and a half- the Sooners lost in quite an embarrassing ball game.

I guess that’s one of the risks you take when you fly all the way to another state to watch a football game- your team might lose! I felt bad for the people behind us. They went to the game last year in which the Sooners lost too. They went on and on about the whole thing.

Because I realize the majority of my audience could care less about football and terrible offense and idiotic play calling (ie: the onside kick- what the crap was that anyway!?!) I will digress. The trip was still nice. Phoenix winter weather reminds me of Kuwait winter weather. It was very enjoyable.

So the title of this post has a tiny bit to do with being a bit bowled over with the Fiesta Bowl, but a lot more to do with simply just being bowled over in frustration and annoyances with events that have recently taken place back at the home base.

A few days ago I was preparing to write a post about how great my MIL is. Oh, and while we’re on that subject- I’ve decided to refer to her simply as “Pat” in future posts. Pat- as in Pat Macdougle (sp!?) from Everybody Loves Raymond. It’s like they’re sisters, guys.

Anyway, I had prepared to write a really nice post about her and a conversation we had, and how although she drives Will crazy at times, she really means well and blah blah blah. That, however, was until I had a conversation with my FIL that placed the entire post in a big disgusting clogged toilet.

^ Oh and speaking of toliets- so far so good with the no toilet situations this trip. Well, sort of. It’s a long story that I ought not to open up right now as I have a feeling this post will be quite long. Let’s just say the toilet flushes really funny now- but the victory is the fact that it still flushes. Right? Okay, back to the matter at hand.

Oh- and before I begin- I need a disclaimer. I realize Will’s parents have our interests in mind and all that crap, but I’m not really writing with that in mind. I’m pretty much just writing in anger and the sheer need to blow off steam. After I post this and get it off my mind I’ll go back to being fine and knowing they care for us, they’re great, and all that other stuff.

Where do I even start?…

I haven’t told Will any of what I’m about to share. Mainly because I don’t want him to feel as though I went to his mom behind his back (it wasn’t like that at all), and secondly because he and his dad are very close.I’m not even really sure how things got started, but I think it best not to vent to him about the whole thing. So, that means YOU are the lucky friends that I’m confiding in. Yes, the entire internet.

Okay so the other day Will went to see an old friend and run a few errands. Pat asked if I wanted to go along to Wal-Mart with her to do some shopping. As a person living in Kuwait where Wal-Mart does not exist, I’m not one to pass up such an offer, so I opted to tag along.

Mistake number one.

The trip was just fine. Nothing overly exciting, simply walking up and down aisles and talking about food- so thrilling, right? Anyhow, on the way home we got into a real serious conversation about some things that have been on my heart about Will, the future, and a few more other personal things. You can probably understand why I want to keep this matter sort of ambiguous, but to sum it up it was about God’s plan for me and Will and if perhaps God is still tugging him to return to full time ministry and how Will might not be listening. Another issue was about finances and spending money on what seems to me as unnecessary things. I had never revealed a lot of these thoughts to anyone. It seemed odd that I would release such personal insights to Will’s mom, considering a lot of the conversation circled around him, however, at the same time it felt good to let go.

Mistake number two.

Why!? Why Brittny!?! Do you guys realize what an idiot I am!? I know you’re reading this and thinking to yourself, “Brittny is a freaking idiot MORON!” Yes, I know. You don’t have to remind me. I fully realize I violated EVERY

SINGLE

MIL-DIL RELATIONAL RULE.

It’s like cardinal rule number one: Do not EVER under ANY circumstance share absolutely anything personal with your mother-in-law regarding her son.

Ugh, I’m cringing just thinking about the fact that I actually shared such information with Pat. I feel dirty- like 34 showers in a 2 hour time span would still leave me feeling all grimy for the whole thing. Cardinal rule number one guys! What was I thinking!?!

Anyway, we talked the whole way home about these things and God’s plan and things we out to pray for, etc. It was just a nice conversation. I could tell she knew exactly what I was saying, and I could understand the thoughts she was sharing as well because I often felt the same things. As we turned onto her street, I teared up and told her how thankful I was that we were able to talk and share such thoughts about Will and God’s plan, etc.

The whole family had a wonderful evening and had cherry pie with a heaping scoop of vanilla ice cream and all sat out on the porch holding hands and singing “Michael Row the Boat Ashore.”

The end.

Ha.

So, truthfully, I really did think that was the end of the conversation- “E.O.D” as my parents like to say (End Of Discussion).

Only, I forgot I married into Will’s side of the family in which nothing is ever really
“E.O.D.”

Again- yelling “Idiot” at myself- I should have known all this stuff by now!

See, in Will’s family things are done differently. For the sake of time I will sum it up by saying issues are usually brought up to one person of the family, and then another person, primarily Will’s dad, will bring the issue to light in generally a more private setting in hopes of clearing the air, etc. The whole thing annoys me, but hey- it’s better than what my family does which is simply suppress everything and never talk about issues and be perfectly fine with never ever doing so to keep happiness and peace among all (which isn’t always the best decision either- uh reference all Summer of 2005 posts).

Do you see where I’m going with this thing?

Yeah… I think you do…

So the day after my deep and meaningful conversation with dear old “mom,” I decided to go for a walk to get some exercise. As I was heading towards my desired walking trail, Will’s dad caught me outside.

Yes- his dad.

I thought he was going to tag along to show me the path to walk along. I wasn’t really thinking anything else.

As we started to walk he began with a booming introduction- one no doubt he might have practiced before deciding to escort me into the woods- WHERE THERE WOULD BE NO WITNESSES when he kicked the living crap out of every ounce of my freaking pride.

Okay- sorry- where were we? Ah- the introduction.

So, he started out with this introduction about Will’s grandpa that farmed, and how he always seemed to have an issue with his full-grown son-also a farmer- buying a new truck for himself all the time when it probably wasn’t the wisest decision. He went on a little longer but summed it up saying that Will’s grandpa came to the conclusion that sometimes that shiny new truck was all his son was working for to get him through long days and tough times.

“Oh crap,” I thought to myself, “I know exactly where this is going.”

“Pat!” I cursed to myself in my best Seinfeld “Neuman-esque” manner. “That Pat had sold me down the river!”

Will’s dad went on to talk about how Will is working hard right now and how sometimes buying things that don’t make sense to some make sense to him because that’s what help him get through the day while we’re in Kuwait. Blah blah blah- we went about 2 laps around the path having this conversation that is best summed up in the above sentence. Actually- it was more him talking, and me providing flabbergasted, “Uh-huhs.”

I know this whole thing doesn’t seem bad when you read it. Heck, I re-read it and it doesn’t seem that bad to me either, but at that instant I felt extremely put on the spot and really angry about the whole thing. Granted, a lot of it was my fault for opening my big fat mouth and thinking I could let my MIL in the circle of trust (HA!), but still- it’s a freaking circle of trust, dang it- keep it a freaking circle, not a horseshoe!

Alright- I also know that when you share something with someone, it’s generally a given that person tells their spouse. That’s like an unspoken rule I think we all know. However, it ends there! It goes in the vault never to be brought up again! Unless you’re freaking breaking the law or hurting someone- keep that crap in the freaking vault! Right!?

Okay- so back to the conversation-

I was so shocked that he would approach me in such a manner and defend a situation in which he didn’t know all the facts. How dare he come to me and say “such and such is the reason why Will buys things sometimes and it should be okay since that’s the reason” when I didn’t solicit such input!? Plus- don’t justify someone else’s behavior. I didn’t ask for the analysis!

First of all- the whole issue isn’t a big deal at all. We rarely spend money over there and it seemed to me that Pat had blown the whole thing out of proportion. I had no idea my comment would be taken in such a way. Secondly- mind your own business! I know exactly why my husband does the things he does and I don’t need a freaking analogy to drive it home! I already knew all that crap- and he’s right! His hobby DOES help him get through tough days in Kuwait- you’re not telling me anything I don’t already know! That wasn’t even the issue that Pat and I really discussed, it was more about ministry- so why in the world did she choose to focus on something that wasn’t really the main issue of our discussion?

I was so shocked that Will’s dad felt the need to get me- the perceived unsupportive wifezilla- alone to have a semi-intervention on a subject that didn’t need to be addressed. I didn’t really know what to say. As I mentioned before- I come from a family that first of all gets along fine, and second of all isn’t really into confronting situations in such a way- so instead of flying off the handle and taking out his bad knee, I just stayed silent and provided a lot of, cold, “Uh-huhs.”

I’m not sure if he could sense my stiff, closed posture or not, but I really don’t care. I was simply flabbergasted by the entire chain of events. I felt like going straight to Pat and letting her have it- rotating head, flying pea soup spewing out of my mouth and all. 

“The real truth is, PAT, I don’t even think I want children! I’ve just been being nice when you’ve dropped all your ‘sly’ hints!” I felt like yelling. Only, I have way more control than that and have no ability to truly be mean to someone (ha- I bet you have a hard time believing that after reading this post though, huh?).

I hate that I’m too nice. It’s truly one of my faults most of the time. Instead of telling Will’s dad what I really thought, I gave him control of the conversation and didn’t say what I was really thinking and now am kicking myself over the whole thing. I often remind myself of Meg Ryan’s character in You’ve Got Mail- never able to say what I want in the moment, but always full of great material 5 minutes after the fact.

I guess that’s why I blog. It probably saves my sanity and relationships- especially when living with family during the holidays.

So I feel better now and I’ve let the whole odd conversation go (though I’m sure you have a hard time believing me. What gave it away? The vowing to never give them grandchildren part??)

Trust me, the whole thing felt worse than it reads right now. It just all rubbed me the wrong way. I know it probably doesn’t seem so bad, and looking back a few days later it really wasn’t (uh- I guess…). It just upset me and seemed a bit inappropriate and unnecessary. Trust me, I’ve definitely learned my lesson- never break the cardinal rule!

A couple nights ago I was extremely ruthless and killed everyone in Monopoly, so I felt a lot better after that. We had a lot of fun playing and it once again reminded me that although the above conversation made me want to launch a brick through the window, I really like Will’s family. I guess I need to focus on the Monopoly days and not the awkward walks in the woods days, huh?

Last night Pat and I watched TV together, and she let me watch whatever mindless show I desired, so that was nice. We ended up watching Jon & Kate Plus Eight (super duper cute!) last night and just had a good time. I know you’re going to have a hard time believing me after my big vent, but I really do like Will’s family and am blessed to have such a good set of in-laws (ha ha, most of the time). I seriously needed to blow off some steam, though.

I feel as though I have SO much more to talk about- like the fact that Dr. Vet totally made a comment about how much I ate at lunch, the toilet story briefly mentioned above, and my big weekend in Dallas with a couple bloggers (!), but I better go.

Do you realize my trip is coming to a big finale very soon? I’m so bummed. It’s always hard to go back, but this time it will be so much harder. I thank you guys so much (Erin- thanks a million) for your prayers. I’m continuing to pray and trust God that He will take care of things at work as I prepare to go back. I have so much more I want us to talk about, but I better go for now. I truly look forward to catching up soon and getting to read about all the fun you guys have been having. I promise! we’ll catch up very soon. Again, sorry guys for being classified as hands down the worst blog friend EVER. I probably won’t get much computer time until the weekend we get back to Kuwait,and I promise to catch up then. Seriously. If I don’t I won’t have any blog friends to meet next time I come home because I won’t have any left!

Thanks for listening to me vent! More to come…

Hello Friends!

Happy New Year Friends! Are you ready to ring in 2008? I can’t believe 2008 is here. Craziness!

I’m typing from Phoenix! We got here bright and early this morning. As I had hoped, we flew in with a few other Sooners, so that was fun. Don’t worry, we didn’t get out of control. There was no Boomer Sooner chanting from across the plane. We all were very well behaved.

Thus far our first day in Phoenix has been quite an adventure.

You know, when I think of vacation I think of fun, relaxation, excitement-

not pink eye.

Yep, Will has pink eye.

Can I first just say- Ew!?

Yes, Ew. Does that make me a terrible wife? Sorry. But seriously- Ew.

Just think of a puss-caked eye glued shut, juicy, and flaming hot pink. Yeah- you’re feeling me now on the “ew” aren’t you?

Poor guy. It’s like he’s constantly winking at me, only instead of it being all cute and flirty, it’s more like a huge gigantic swollen shut cornflake staring right at you in the winking position.

Agh! Now EVERYONE is saying Ew, right? Sorry- I just wanted you guys to share in all my disgusting “fun.”

Yesterday Will felt it coming on, but we were in Texas with Dr. Vet and weren’t able to get to a pharmacy. Plus, this morning at 4:00 when we were trying to get packed and rush to the airport wasn’t exactly the opportune time either. So- poor Will met the TSA airport guys with a big mushy cake eye.

Ew.

Boomer Sooner.

I guess.

Anyway, so our first few hours were a BLAST! Let me tell you. There’s no better way to learn about the city in which you’re staying like visiting their AM-PM/Emergency Care Clinic.

Loads of fun I tell you- loads of fun.

Those are two hours of our lives we’ll never get back. How sad.

We started off hoping that, as in Kuwait, we’d be able to stop by a pharmacy and get something that would get rid of this crap. We were mistaken. Why? Why would we think America would be about conveniences? There’s only a fast food restaurant on every

single

corner

in this country,

and everything is “quick and easy” on every commercial you see. Was it too much to ask for a simple infection killing eye drop?

Yes.

So, our dreams of a quick trip to Walgreens for aid were dashed.

On to the fun: the Emergency Care Clinic.

Thank God I’ve gotten a hepatitis shot.

That’s really all I can say.

Okay, I’m fibbing. There’s more to say. Guys, it was scary!

And smelly…

Unidentified wet stuff on the floor…

And full of deep, throaty, mucous-y coughs.

ALL OVER ME!

Seriously, if we were healthy before we came, we left there with something.

“We’re going to have to boil our clothes!” I told Will.

Yeah, yeah, I know- hospitals are full of sick people. I guess it was just quite a shock to sit in the AM-PM clinic my first day in Phoenix. Plus the stuff on the floor put me a bit overt the edge. What was it? No one knows.

What an adventure!

So, we sat, and we sat, and we made friends, and we watched terrible daytime TV. We sat there for 2 hours and Will was finally called. He was with the doctor for less than 5 minutes.

Hmm, wait for 2 hours, done in 5 minutes… something seems odd....

To cure us of the pink eye horror and frightening clinic we opted to celebrate our pink eye prescribed drops with a Cheesy Gordita Crunch!

Those may be the one thing that would bring me home for good. Thank goodness they’re only limited time things.

So, it’s been quite a day. I think with all of this afternoon’s fun, we’re going to let that be our fill of excitement for new year’s eve. We ordered a pizza and are going to stay in.

Read: Old Married Boring Couple.

Oh well, that’s us. We’ve accepted it!

I hope you all have a wonderful new years! I look forward to reading about it.

Update on my previous post to come sometime. For now I’m resolved to try my best not to worry about things I can’t control and just trust God.

Thanks for all your sweet comments lately. For the umptheenth time- when my in-laws go back to normal hours in January I look forward to catching up soon.

Happy New Year! More to come.

Boomer Sooner!

Okay, so let me first begin this post with a big fat I’M SORRY.

I’m sorry.

I really suck.

I will probably not be posting any feedback for the next few weeks. My computer time is beyond “extremely limited” right now. I know, I know, I’m missing the MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR in everyone’s lives and all that crap… yeah, yeah, I know. I’m sorry guys. :(

Okay- now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s get started.

I seriously feel like I’m typing next to a ticking stink bomb that is going to go off in all its funky glory if I don’t complete my computer time in 24.5 minutes or less. I’d elaborate, but again- we can’t have the stink bomb go off so let’s just get on with the post.

So because of time I thought I’d just combine a few series of short posts into one bigger post. Alas- (seriously, it’s about time, right!?!) my post.

Heh Heh
I’ve got Will totally convinced that the terrible smell filling his car two nights ago was from it sitting in storage for a year and the air vents not being used. Friends, I don’t think I need to tell the truth on this one. I’m sure you already know.

A Night With the Devil’s Kitten
Yeah you read that right. Will and I spent the night with Satan’s cat a couple nights ago.

I’ll come right out and say it (you can trash me later)- Will and I aren’t the biggest cat people. Especially Will. (Exepct for Toby, Ann. I love Toby. I think Will would too<3).

There.

I said it.

Hate me later.

Mine comes from a couple bad cat experiences, Will's?… I'm not so sure.

Anyway, Will's brother Dr. Vet (<- this is where I'm supposed to insert a link so you know what I'm talking about. Instead I'll just do a crash course- Dr. Vet is Will's veternarian brother. Wow- what a creative name) has a cat to keep him company.

Ooh! Cool side story! My friend retired blogger Sarah takes her doggies to the same vet clinic where Dr. Vet works and didn’t even know it! HOW FREAKING AMAZING.

We stayed with Dr. Vet and the devil cat our first night after Minneapolis.

Guys, the thing truly is borderline, “bring into the clinic for observation.” Perhaps that’s why Dr. Vet likes it so much.

Bogey likes to sleep all day and play all night.  Sort of a Jykell (sp!?!) and Hyde sort of thing. Lucky us.

We slept out on the pull out couch that night and boy did old Bogey have a ball with us. We kept hearing it run up and down the back of the couch and pounce.

Run, Run, Run, Fly, Pounce!

That’s sort of how it went. It would sit on the arm of the couch as we were sleeping and just stare at Will and then run over us onto the other side of the couch and then stare at me. Creepy. To be honest, I slept through most of it, but Will was totally annoyed. Apparently at some point during the stare contest Bogey licked Will’s nose (ha ha), and as Will went to grab him, Bogey straight up slapped Will in the face (HA HA) I woke up at some point from Will flailing trying to catch Bogey and asked him what he was doing.

He looked at me like a soldier on a mission and was all, “I’ve been protecting you all night!”

What a dork. He even had a water gun handy to defend my honor.

(I’m totally shaking my head right now)

You Gotta Watch Out For This One
I totally wish I could post this on it’s own. Oh well…

I can’t be sure, but I think my MIL totally let one last night! Not just a little womanly fluff, but a full blown honker of a fart. One that made me think she ought to check her pants!

We were in Tulsa last night with Will’s grandpa. We had just eaten a big meal and were sitting in the living room. All of a sudden my MIL adjusts her seat and lets out a seriously loud sound! At first I thought it was like pants rubbing against the leather chair, but then I realized I was on the leather chair, not her! She had to have let one! She even said excuse me! I was so shocked because I was just certain it was not a bodily noise but instead leather, shoes scraping together- something, anything but that!

Surely not, right? Surely someone as quiet and gentle as my MIL would never do such a thing right? I don’t know… I guess I’m going to have to watch out for this one…

Cheese-Freaking-Cake Factory
Again, I wish I had more time. This is going to sound dumb and probably won’t make any sense at all, but I need to vent. As you remember from the Cheesecake Factory tiff earlier this week, any and all in-law venting must be via blog.

I totally had an uncomfortable moment today with the family. Yet again the Cheesecake Factory has brought trouble upon the WB family!

Will wanted to take me there since it had recently opened in the Tulsa area, plus his parents have never gone so we wanted them to go too.

Well for some reason it sort of turned into, “Well Brittny wants to go,” sort of thing as though everyone was inconvienced. I got the feeling they didn’t want to go. No big deal.

Okay- so first of all I never ever said I wanted to go. Will had told me a long time ago (after his September trip back home) he told his parents he wanted us to go while we were in Tulsa. I never up and said, “Hey gang! Let’s go to the Cheesecake Factory!”

I think since they knew it was a place I really liked they sort of turned it into a “Well, Brittny” sort of thing. This morning I told my MIL I didn’t think we ought to go because I knew Will’s grandpa wouldn’t go along because of his health. I said we ought to stay and do something at the house.

Period.

EOD (End of Discussion)… or so I thought.

Anyway, my MIL kept pestering me about it, “Are you sure? I know how much you FREAKING love it and want to make out with everything on the menu!” <- uh, okay, she really didn't say that, but you get my drift.

She just went on and on and then they started calling family saying, "Well, Brittny changed her mind...” blah blah blah. I was so annoyed. It totally became this huge thing, “Are you sure you’ll be okay if we don’t go?

We should go…

Are you sure it’s okay if we don’t?

Maybe we should go…

Well- if we don’t go, what are we going to do?...”

I was going insane! I’m fairly reserved and don’t like to get firm with people most of the time, but finally I was like, “Okay, I’m being really serious- I really don’t want to go. It’s seriously no big deal. We just need to let it go.” Will was annoyed too. I don’t know why things have to become such a big deal sometimes. It was totally solved this morning, but it couldn’t be left alone.

Anyway, we ended up not going (Thank God. I think it would have ruined it for me to have to go after the whole elaborate morning we had about the whole thing).

Okay- so I re-read that whole story, and wow! It makes absolutley no sense at all!

Oh well, I feel better for venting.

So here we are, back home. Finally. We’ve been on the road ever since we left Kuwait. More driving will be coming very soon, but I’ll try to enjoy tomorrow at home. I’m so thankful to be home with my family (despite my venting). I’m so blessed. The Lord has given me so much to be thankful for. I have so much more I want to tell you guys! :( Oh well. I hope you have a great Christmas. I can’t wait to read all about it! Check in with you guys soon!

I work with a lot of old people.

A lot of old Southern people.

Being from Oklahoma, I’m fairly accustomed to quirky sayings to explain things, but lately it seems as though I’m surrounded in the things!

I’ve been keeping list of every single one I hear. I thought I’d share a few with you guys today. Who in the world came up with these things anway!?!

This issue has become our long pole in the tent.
Don’t you want a long pole in your tent? Doesn’t it support the entire structure? I don’t know about you- but give me a long pole!

You’re really holding our feet to the fire on this one!
What psycho came up with this saying? I mean sure, I get the point, but all I envision are large pairs of hairy toed funkified feet next to a blazing fire.

We concede.

I don’t get a warm fuzzy from him.
Warm fuzzy? What about Hot Hairy?

Those sound stupid, so why is “warm fuzzy” acceptable?

If you can think of a better way to eat this apple, please let me know.
I can’t. I’ve never been good with thinking outside the box when it comes to eating apples. Perhaps I could peel it the way Meg Ryan does in Sleepless in Seattle? I have no idea…

It started to rain to beat the devil!
Um, sorry to burst your bubble, but the devil is not the Wicked Witch of the West. Upon seeing rain, he doesn’t melt into a smoky gooey green pool of witch while cackling, “I’m meeelting AaaaaHHHHHHHHH!” as crazy little vest-wearing flying monkeys stand by in wonder.

He sounded like death eating a cracker!
What? What the crap does this mean?

I don’t get it. Very random.

I’m like a dog chasing after my own tail!
Please, I beg you, show me what you mean. In fact, I would pay to watch you chase your own tail. In fact, I’m laughing at you right now!

Now it’s your turn- give me some funny sayings.