Back from Jordan and behind on every little facet of life.

I actually cried last night at the thought of returning to this place (ie: work). It’s a bummer to be back.

I’ve got a novel to share and only

I will write a real post soon. I took a TON of pictures. I can’t wait to share my trip with you guys.

More to come soon… Feedback to come eventually. 

I’m looking at two very pathetic looking dogs right now.

It’s as if they know we’re leaving them.

I’m trying to stay positive and tell them how great the “doggie hotel” is going to be, but I’m pretty sure they don’t buy it. In fact, I totally heard Lucy call me a lying little piece of crap under her breath. In most cases I would have said, “Lucy! That’s really rude!” However, I can’t really blame her. In this case, I really am a lying little piece of crap.

I’m sure they’ll fare well, but I can’t help by worry a little. I take back making fun of every mother that flew off the handle in a fit of snotty tears because left their kid with a babysitter overnight. I’m so there with you. Okay, not quite, but I do feel a little guilty.

I hope they’re not too mad when we come back- and I hope they don’t come back barking in Arabic.

That would really confuse me.

Anyway-

That work thing I asked you to pray about? Well, I decided against it. Oddly enough, another “thing” sort of came up. Could that be another way for God to answer my prayers?? I don’t know. Keep praying. I am. We’ll see.

Speaking of praying- seriously guys- PRAY! I’m totally trying to focus my mind and heart on my trip to Jordan and it seems as if I’m being attacked from all sides. What a shock, right? I really want this trip in Jordan to be spiritual, and I feel as though I’m facing road block after road block. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, things always seem to happen that way. There is so much for me to see and learn while I’m in Jordan, and I really want to have a focused heart and mind, and all I seem to be thinking (and worrying) about is all the crap I’m leaving behind. I feel like people are mad at me for leaving. I know where all those things and feelings are coming from, so I’m just continuing to pray that my heart and mind will be set on things above and not on the things of this earth.

Okay, sorry for the mini sermon. My focus for this trip has been on my mind, as you can clearly see!

It’s a lot cooler in Jordan than it is here. I think the highs are in the 60s and low 70s. I’m so excited about the weather! From what I understand, Petra is ALL WALKING, so I’ll get to enjoy plenty of the wonderful weather while I’m there. I’m a little disappointed, though. I really wanted to try swimming in the Dead Sea. I hear it’s one of the coolest experiences ever. Like you can literally sit upright and read the newspaper right in the middle of the sea. How cool. Oh well, it will just be cool to see it and stick my feet in. No swimming when it’s that cold!

I’m also a tad bummed because (CRAP! I don’t remember his name!) there is this Iranian-American comedian that has a show called The Axis of Evil and he just finished up a tour in Jordan yesterday! What a bummer. I think it would have been HILARIOUS to see him in a Middle Eastern country. Bummer. I think he’s done a few comedy central shows, but I don’t remember off the top of my head. Oh well. I’ll just have to have P tell me some jokes. fun fun.

Okay, I guess I should quit yapping and start packing and spending some time with the dogs our last day together. Shh- don’t tell them that though.

Talk to you guys soon. More to come.

Do you ever feel like you should create a list entitled “Things I Need to Remember to Stress About” just so you don’t forget the mountain of worries tapping at your shoulder?

I honesly came close just now. I really did. I decided to post instead.

Earlier today, Will and I had one of those big kid discussions about life

and how much longer we’ll be here

and how much is enough

and missing out on the little things in life

and everything besides the kitchen sink.

One of those conversations that I wish I could have had a cute little 1930s court stenographer with the bright red lips and beautiful wavy curls sitting quietly in the background typing an entire transcript of everything said.

Sadly, I didn’t have one!

Anyhow, here it sits Saturday night, work tomorrow, and it finally hit me- I need a vacation!

Although Will just came back from one, I know he’s ready for one too. One that’s a little more relaxed than running back and forth to a couple football games and jumping back on a plane.

We never really came to a conclusion at the end of our conversation, we simply decided we needed a vacation. I know Will is far more ready to go home for good than I am. Football season isn’t helping either! It’s so weird living in uncertainty. Sure, nothing is really “certain” (aside from salvation of course!) in this world and in the times we live in, but I think you know what i’m saying. I mean, I sort of feel like we’re floating. Like we’re in this incubator waiting for whatever is next, only we don’t know what “next” is!

In some ways I feel years ahead of my peers. In other ways, I feel so behind.

Sigh, you just had to be there today. I can’t really “re-verbalize” all that we talked about. In some ways we talked about everything, in others we talked about nothing.

Such a contradiction!

One silly thing I realized was that when we go home one day I won’t immediately have my dream house. It’s funny how this whole time I just thought we’d move home and “bam!” we’d either build our buy the house of our dreams. Uh- hello jobs and location! I guess I forgot those two important things. Leave it to me to be the dreamer! Jenny? I’m just going to have to live through you a while longer than I thought, okay?

I just don’t know! I know we don’t have to worry about making this big life decision anytime soon. We’ll still be here for a while, but it sure would be nice to know what lurks around the corner. It seems that every now and then Will and I have one of these big talks that makes my head spin

and wonder

and worry

and stress

and search for jobs

and go crazy

and make Will go crazy too!

Breathe, right? Just breathe. I know tomorrow will take care of itself. I just want to help it along sometimes. I guess I just need to look forward to that vacation of ours.

enjoy the weekend.

Tickets for Will and I to fly to America this December ........ $alotoffreakingmoney.00

Hotel in Minneapolis ........ $125.00/night

Rental Car ........ $190.00/week

One Meal at the Cheesecake Factory ........ $55.00

Adrian Peterson Vikings Gear ........ $100.00

Finding out that the tickets you paid a crapload for- soley to watch your favorite rookie OU player and no other reason at all- normally go for NINE DOLLARS AND FIFTY FREAKING CENTS due to the extra-small fine print stating LIMITED VIEW on the front-

ie: meaning there is a huge freaking pole/concession stand/cruise liner blocking 99.943% of the field- ........

PRICELESS

There are some things money can buy. For everything else, there’s Vicodin.

Alone I sit at the computer.

I just scarfed down my second bowl of Kashi (note to self- it’s not considered South Beach Friendly if you eat enough to feed a boy’s choir) and am listening to the night’s prayer call.

I prefer not to eat alone, and I prefer not to eat in front of this box, but I thought you would be more company than listening to the TV blare, so here I am.

Current listen?

Sia: Breathe Me.

I’m currently downloading a wealth of new songs. My sister keeps me cool. She emails me all the songs I HAVE to have, so I download them and she is usually right- it’s mostly good stuff.

So anyway, now that we agree you have to know all these stupid and pointless facts, I’ll move on.

This weekend was definitely an “I want to go home” one. I don’t particularly know why. Okay, maybe I do. Do you have time to listen? I don’t.

Anyway, since we established the fact that I’m feeling a little homesick I’ll fast forward to today. I got a little hangy air freshener to put in the company car. It is a yankee one. I love those things. It is called Home Sweet Home, and honestly, if it hadn’t been named that, that’s what I would have said it reminded me of.

Was I torturing myself with this air freshener or what!?

In fact, I’m such a loser that I brought the wrapper upstairs with me so that I could remember the smell.

We learned in interpersonal communication (and an old spice commercial!) that scent is the strongest link to our memory. I believe it. I opened the air freshner about 5 minutes from my apartment and I was distracted by a flood of memories. So many memories all at the same time that I couldn’t even sort them through.

I thought about my parent’s house back home. It smelled like that. My mom loved spicy and cinnamony candles and would light them all the time. It reminded me of that house, and my heart hurt because after moving around my whole entire life, that was the house that anchored me and now someone else lives there. That is a post in itself but I think that might be one I never post publicly because it would drag on forever and make me cry.

It also reminded me of Christmas. If it hadn’t been called Home Sweet Home it should have been called Christmas. It reminded me of all the candles my mom would burn and all the cooking she would do and those scented big pine cones and a million other christmasy things. Gosh I want to go on but I vowed not to stay on here all night- and what am I doing!?

It reminded me of Sarah C’s house too. I had a lot of fun growing up there. I wonder how she is doing. I hope well. The last time I saw her was, gosh… I am thinking.. it had to have been Christmas break before we moved over here. We met at Atlanta Bread for lunch. That was the last time we talked. I know she is doing great. I know it.

It also reminded me of apple cider and freezing our butts off at high school games and OU games.

I was just shocked at all the things that were overtaking me. I just wanted to be home so bad.

I waver a lot about what we should do but I’ve just been homesick the last few days. I’m just tired of fighting for what is right and seeing everything bad win. I know that happens back home too, but I have to believe it is not near the magnitude that it is here. Someone said something that is sadly true about our company, “All the good people leave because they get tired of trying to fight the system.” It’s so true.

Will and I just want to work and go home but I’m afraid the first part may not be a viable option for us for much longer. I don’t know that for sure. I mean ask me tomorrow when I’m having a , “I can make it here” day and it might be totally different.

Anyway, so here I sit by myself.

I hate that.

Especially on I miss home days.

On top of that I’m tired and I just want to go to sleep.

Will is in charge of an april fool’s day run they’re having tonight so he won’t be home until late. I guess him being gone gives me time to get some stuff done, but I doubt I will. I figure I will take a shower, get ready for bed. iron tomorrow’s stuff (If I’m lucky!) and go to bed. Or at least make an attempt to. Days like today make me wish he were here to go to bed with me. Sigh.

I think a lot of it is that my emotions are heightened thanks to nature… do I need to say any more or give you a definition of nature!? I sure hope not. Thanks Brittny! We will all set our clocks to you. You’re a sunday start you say? OKAY!

Anyway, I’m just tender an tired and miss home today.

Yesterday.

Tomorrow.

Probably the day after too.

I wish I knew the right thing. There are days when I think, “I don’t even know if I’m going to make it to tomorrow let alone August!” and then there are other days I think, “If we take a nice long vacation this fall I think I can make it until next May, but I’m not sure how much more after that.”

I am like a big rickety teeter totter.  If I’m honest haven’t prayed enough about it. I’ve prayed so quickly the last couple of weeks that I know I’ve missed out on some wonderful time with God. I need to listen more this week.

So anyway, I’m writing now, debating whether I will make this public or private.

Public or private?

My heart says, “Brittny! Make it private!”

I know I should.

I think I’ll make it public because I feel like being a jerk. ha ha. Totally kidding. I’m sorry for the downer post. You know I’m not like this a lot. I am just tired of things and am missing home and am bombarded with a lot of warm memories from home.

See- I’m kiling myself over here! I’m smelling the stupid wrapper this very second. What a dork. Yeah, THAT’S good therapy!

Okay, private.

Public.

Private

Public…

Should I toss a coin?

I hate writing down posts like this and then posting it for you guys who have your own problems, to read… but then again if you really want to know me I guess you should know all of me and know I am feeling homesick. Like the homsick where you heart feels like its constantly inhaling and can’t exhale. Like you can’t breathe for fear that if you do, that if you breathe out you will show yourself and all the tears and worries and everything else and they won’t be able to stop and you will just be left there the way you were before but in worse shape because you will be snoting on yourself and your eyes will be all puffy.  That sort of homesick. I would just prefer to inhale. I don’t know if I’m ready for the exhale part quite yet.

So, I guess I will apologize for being such a jerk for posting this on your guys’ weekend when all is perfect and “yes (E.E. Cummings).”

Thanks for reading if you did! Sorry to be a downer. I think I need to sleep, get through this week and get an answer from God! It sounds so easy when I say it like that.

Until then I’ll just shut the computer down for now and take my goofy little wrapper and reminisce of home

blue today.

it pretty much sums up how i’m feeling.

i so need a big fat hug and a whole bunch of genuine girlfriends to surround me with support. i say genuine because i’ve found it very hard to find true and loyal girlfriends that aren’t backstabbing and don’t glory in your defeat. i’m sure some of you can understand. anyway… why did i feel the need to say that?… i don’t know. i guess i’m saying please just listen to me today and be my friend and don’t think i’m crazy for my scattered thoughts.

i had a funny post all written up this morning that i was going to post when i got home, but that was this morning, and a lot has happened since 8:00. it was called “date night with fred and ethel mertz.” see, we were supposed to go out with them tonight because it’s her birthday. gasp. yes, that’s right, we were going to get the men in the same room together. i didn’t even have to drug and blindfold will to go along with it! i have to admit, i was nervous about seeing them interact together after their two little tiffs, but i was still excited about the evening. we haven’t been on a couple date since we’ve gotten here.

i had to cancel today.

i feel like the worst person ever and what makes me feel the worst is that she is the nicest person ever and responded in kindness and totally wanted to make sure will and i were okay. i love “ethel” lots and i let down my only friend in kuwait down on her birthday.

i feel so sad for that.

anyway, i so wish i could tell you all that is going on in my life but i can’t.

maybe soon…

i will say it entails the possibilty of packing up and going home. i know it’s hard to tell you all something that big and not explain why, but i just can’t right now.

i just got off the phone with will. we had a 15 minute phone converstaion about this topic. i hate talking about something this huge and important over the phone. i mean, this is honestly a huge life decision and it doesn’t need to be discussed on the phone.

we are both very emotional about the subject and don’t seem to see eye to eye, which is never a good thing when you are talking about something so massive.

it’s so funny because we totally flip-flopped our opinions regarding this matter. okay, it’s not funny at all. it’s strange and bothersome because for so long one of us has relied on the other to keep us going and then all of a sudden we totally changed positions regarding the matter. one of us has such a strong conviction about this whole mess that they are talking crazy things! okay, not crazy, but just things that totally surprised the other one.

going home in our first year was never ever an option. never. no matter how miserable we were or how terrible people were, we were going to tough it out. i mean, it’s no secret i hate my job, but i am resoved to be a finisher. 4 years is our long term goal, though i am positive that regardless of what we decide it isn’t anymore.

we have to have a decision by the end of this weekend.

no pressure or anything.

ha.

i don’t want to make the wrong decision and honestly God is no where to be found when i pray about this. i know He is, but i just can’t seem to “find” Him when it comes to what we’re supposed to do. i mean “hello!!! this is a huge life altering decision and i would some input from You!” He already knows that. maybe i’m trying to rush Him. His timing is much different than mine.

i just don’t know what to do and i so wish i could talk to someone. i don’t want my parents to know this stuff yet (ha okay- i’m writing for hundreds of people to read, one of them being a good family friend and i say i don’t want them to find out that we’re thinking these crazy thoughts… hmm...), so i can’t talk to them about it. besides, we could totally decide “dang it! we’re freaking staying 4 years!” this weekend and telling them something now when we ended up decided to go ahead and say is unnecessary.

i need so badly to pour my heart out and say all the things that i’m thinking but i simply can’t right now and that is the absolute worst. in fact, i probably said too much with the thoughts of leaving stuf.

on top of that we got some bad news about will’s dad. that was the kicker. will is so down today.

his dad is his hero.

i have only seen him cry twice the entire time we’ve been together and one of the times was this past fall when he was missing his dad. he loves that guy and so do i. i won’t go into details, because honestly, we don’t know a lot, but i know that is another mountain of yuck that has been added to our stress pile. keep will and his dad in your prayers. they have a special relationship.

i’m worried about will. i know that really made him sad. the worst thing is that on top of that stress we seriously need to come to a decision about what we’re going to do with the “other situation” and instead of just being there for him, i forsee us both getting upset because we don’t agree on what needs to be done. i told him i would really rather talk about all that stuff tomorrow and tonight just be together and hold each other. he, however, want’s to talk about it.

amazing! i can’ never get the guy to talk about feelings and junk and all of a sudden he turns into a woman. go figure.

my heart feels so heavy and burdened. i’m not the strong one, will is, and all of a sudden i have to be strong for so many reasons.

i feel so tiny, hence lowercase today. i’ve felt like that for a long time but today has magnified everything. i just feel like i’m floating in the middle of the ocean uncertain of everything.

part of me just wants to log off the computer and watch crappy usa high reruns on tv until will gets home

another side of me wants to cry my eyes out so i’m better by the time he gets home

that is one thing that i admittedly hate about living here. besides my family i don’t have that “one friend“ to go to. you know what i’m talking about. a girl has to have one of those and i don’t. today i need one!

sorry for being so ambiguous. i just need to sort things out today and since i don’t have anyone to vent to (besides my family and ethel, whose birthday is today which means it would be easier and faster for me to set her gift on fire rather than ruining the day by venting) i vent to my blog.

this is my blog and i can say whatever the crap i want, therefore i assume by now you’ve all dropped out of reading so i can continue to write all i want just to keep myself together and not have to think that once again my life could be uprooted and totally change in the blink of an eye.

i don’t want to think about that yet.

wow, this is turning into a pity party. i just reread my post and thought, “i sound terribly pitiful and desperate and ‘poor me.’“ i have so many awesome things in my life and i am full of joy for so many things, and i think you guys have known me long enough to know i have an overall cheerful disposition, so don’t think i’m a weirdo for posting all this stuff. it just comes down to the fact that this was going to be home for a long time and all of a sudden it might not be and my mind is racing.

i should also say that all of this is due to our own personal feelings. no one has said, “you have to make a decision whether or not you’re staying or going.“ it’s nothing like that at all. this is all us, though we do have to have a decision that soon for another reason.

boy i didn’t forsee my day turning out like this! i thought at this time the mertz family and the wb family would be slapping our legs in laughter and telling old college stories over johnny carino’s.

such is life huh?

i guess i have good news. i got my travel check for being with the company for 6 months. that was a nice little bonus today. i guess that is one positive point of the day.

another one is that i decided to become active in selling mary kay again, hence the link. i love their skincare line- especially the moisturizer- so i’m glad i made that move. i’ve been a consultant for a long tiem but haven’t really sold in ages. i took 4 orders this week. that’s more good news. i get to order fun make-up this weekend. i can ship anywhere so if you ever want anything email me!

okay, enough with the sales crap. i’m just trying to get myself out of this “poor me“ rut and realize that God is in control and no matter where we are will and i have eachother and that is key.

okay, i think it’s time to get off for now. sorry for the melodramatic post and “oh poor brittny“ talk because frankly, i annoyed myself with it and i love myself, so i’d hate to think what all of you guys who simply just “like“ me were thinking!

Thanks for letting me vent. I needed it TONS!
I love you bunches.
Tomorrow is a new day- thank goodness.

I look forward to writing a normal post tomorrow.

*~*When life gives you lemons, cut them up, put them in your iced tea and thank God you’re a southern girl.*~*

Today is long! I went on entirely too long, and I even cut some stuff out!This is pretty much a minute by minute recap of my whole trip, just so I can look back and tell myself I didn’t totally hate my first few months here, so I’m sorry it if is mind numbing today!

August 27, 2005

I’m beyond angry right now. Will and I “splurged” and got the internet in our room, but it won’t let me post. How irritating.

I’m fully convinced that the first few hours of a vacation are crucial in a relationship. The first few hours set the tone for the first day, and maybe even the whole trip!

Okay, like- how did you wake up? Was it super early and you both stayed up too late cramming the shirt that you HAD to have but will probably never wear into you over-packed suitcase?

Are you running late and rushed? This could create attitude conflicts.It could also leave Will very annoyed, and if we’re both late, it just puts everyone in a bad mood!

Is it hot (this is my issue)? Are you waiting outside with the luggage (after being rushed) with the sun pounding on your head while your husband goes out back to get the car!? Being hot puts me in a terrible mood. It is crucial that I do not let it get to me during the “mood setting” hours.

What about the drive there? This can be just as important as climate for setting the vacation aura. Is your spouse driving like the plane leaves in 20 minutes, leaving your body to be pressed against the seat because of all the G Forces? “We have to make good time!” We have to make what!? We are leaving 2 hours early. I would say that can be considered “good time.”

What about missing your exit?

Twice.

“Sorry. I can’t believe I did that… again.” (but I’ll make up for it by driving my Camry like it’s a Vet).

Also, how far away are you parking? The closer the better… but this rule was thrown out today. “I LOVE lugging my bag 4.5 miles to the entrance.” These are all crucial factors.

Will: “Do you know where to check in?”

Brittny: “Yeah, I think it’s over there.”

Will: walking a different way than “there.“

“I thought you said you knew where we were going.”

“I DID! You went a different way!”

All of these factors, occurring in the beginning hours of a trip have the potiential to set the vacation momentum. These were the many factors Will and I faced this morning, and although there was opportunity to get snippy, we did very well.

I did, however get the “talk” about being more responsible and not so careless. I then got defensive and went on and on about how responsible I was… only to unknowingly have my ticket fall out of my lap and onto the floor as I “carefully” headed to the bathroom none the wiser. Thank goodness for Will! So much for being responsible.

I think “early vacation momentum stress” is a universal thing, and after watching other couples while we waited for our plane, I quickly learned that vacation tension knows all regions. I couldn’t understand a single word these couples were saying, but I didn’t need to. The nonverbals said it all. My best bet was that she was running late this morning, making him mad. He said something stupid about it, and she unleashed on him- probably about all his annoying habits, like leaving his full of stains dish dash (their long white robe- not positive on the spelling) on the floor, and never putting the lid down when he used the bathroom. I was glad that Will and I had made it through vacation round one unscathed.

***You go through a million metal detectors in the Kuwait airport, but I’m totally convinced that you could load your pockets with coins and your carry on with Swiss army knives and they’d never say a thing. I watched at 3 different spots how the x-ray watcher guy payed little attention, and how at one he was busy talking to someone as bags slid on through.

“Kuwait Air: Keeping you Safe One Metal Detector at a Time.“

So today Will and I flew on the best airline either of us had been on- remember it was one of the three 5 star airlines. ha ha. Anyway, Qatar air was very enjoyable , and I can see why it ranked so high. They didn’t play scary music, like Kuwait Air which was an instant plus. They had flat screens on every other seat, so that was nice. I do have to say, the snack was a let down. I guess they were too fancy for the simple Oklahomns.

After our short flight, I was once again greeted by the friendly lady that said “Welcome to Qatar where it is humid as a rainforest and hot as hell.” She wasn’t kidding. We got our stuff and got a taxi. So far, I have to say Qatar beats Kuwait. They have lush green grass everywhere. It is so beautiful. Doha, Qatar is truly an oasis in the desert. They are gearing up for the Asian Games next fall, so stuff is going up everywhere.

*** Well, as I had said earlier, our hotel was more expenxisive than we would have liked (little sidenote: this is a trip I have to take, so it wasn’t a planned vacation or anything and it wasn’t something we were financially planning for. So while this is a trip for us, it is actually something I had to do and learned about a week ago. The trip away with Will is just the bonus). There were limos and BMW 700 series pulling up to let off guests, and here comes me and Will, rollin’ up in our tiny Honda taxi.

We clearly stand out as we walk in. There are lots of older Westerns, and Arabs, but then here comes the young and Casper white Will and Brittny! I wanted to stay, “Yes, we are in the right place! Stop staring!” We get our stuff and ask a few questions and head to our room.

We get there and I have to go to the bathroom-bad (the fact that I have a bladder the size of an 80 year old doesn’te help the matter). I try to turn on the lights but nothing happens. Will and I try over and over, flipping the switch real fast, then real slow, and a million other techniques (yeah, because it’s all in the tecnhique… if a light doens’t turn on, you just flip the switch differently and it will work) to no avail.

“Surely they aren’t all burned out!”

This goes on for like 5 minutes and finally we, the young Clampett Americans call for help. Apparently you have to insert your card key in this slot fot the lights to work.

What you you doing! Are you just making up stupid stuff to look fancy!? Well, you look fancy and we look stupid! What a dumb idea- stick you card there and the lights work. They obvisouly don’t know I’m the most scatterbrained person in the world and there is no way I will remember to take my key with me unless its in my purse, and not in some “make the lights work in the bathroom” slot.

Enough about that! Our room is very nice.

I totally had a food crisis the first 10 minutes here. There is a yummy basket of fruit, calling to me on the table. I say, “I think it’s free.” Will says, “I think it’s not.” Go figure we would say different things.

Did I say we looked too young to be here? Maybe it’s too unrefined, though I think we know our etiquette and manners.

I text P and all she writes back is: LMAO! Call the front desk! Right. So they can hang up and say, “You’ll never guess what the Americans in 111 just said!” So, the fruit thing is up in the air, but I think I’m toing to have an apple anyway. I’ll show them!

Today was mostly spent getting here and figuring out the internet in out room. It’s from our tv, so it can’t do everything a a computer can- like post! The main reason we got it was for Will’s fantasy draft (talk about timing- in all the weeks out of the year our random trip and fantasy draft fall together). Will spent a chunk of the afternoon on our draft, which kind of put me in a bad mood. I felt bad because our “first hours momentum” kept getting better, and then it came to a stop. I really did need to shut my mouth, but it was too late. Like I said, I needed to realize our $ situatuion for this trip, plus the fact that this draft is so important to Will- maybe even more important since we are so far away from football this year. Anyway, that was a litlle hiccup.

After Will did fantasy stuff the plan was to go to Arbys and a grocery store to pick up water. We went down to ask about a taxi, and all the hotel provides were limos, which is not really how we wanted to spend out money. Talking taxis was a mess. “No thank you. We don’t want a limo. We just want a taxi,” we said a million times.

What we should have been saying was, “Look. We don’t want your freakin’ limo! We are on a budget and want a piece of crap to drive us around. Do you think you can find a piece of crap!?”

We ended up going with this rental service in the hotel and had the guy drop us off at the City Center, where we could do everything we needed. The City Center is the largest mall in the Middle East, and the 7th largest in the world. It was great. We mostly just went to say we have been there. There is an ice rink on the bottom floor, which is funny to think that in the middle of the desert there is ice. I guess you all need to own up to your, “when hell freezes over” bets, because it has happened! Kuwait has one too, but I’ve never seen it. 

We walked around a little. We went to the third floor there where was a movie theatre and little amusement park and got dinner, and then desert at TCBY. We walked around and slowly made our way to the grocery store. That was semi-stressful!

First off, I find one or two grocery stores I line and that is where I always go. because I know where eveyrthing is. Going here was all new! Plus it was super busy, which didn’t help as I bumped into everyone and their five children. “I just want some granola bars and some water!!!! That’s it! Is that to much to ask! Why don’t you label your aisles!!“ That is what I wanted to scream after about 10 minutes.

We got our stuff and grabbed a taxi and went back to the hotel. I got around for bed and put on their fluffy, cushy robe and decided that no matter what the real purpose of this trip- business or pleasure, I am going to have a good time.

August 28, 2005

This morning I woke up to a major surprise! A huge head of curly hair! Ugh. I tried so hard to make sure it would stay straight- to no avail. It is so humid everywhere. Our sunglasses are constantly fogging from walking inside to outside. Will and I got around and ordered room service for lunch. It was really good and I’m glad we did. I was starving and totally attacked my sandwich. Poor thing.

After that , Will got online to check his draft while I sat around. We have a tour of the city scheduled for 3, so hopefully it will be fun.

** Back again! Our tour was pretty cool. It was supposed to be 4 hours, but we cut it down to 2- thankfully! I think Will would have died! The emir of Qatar is trying to give his country lots of good PR. I mean, how many people can point to a blank map and find Qatar? His goal is to make Qatar a country people know, hence the good airline and hosting the Asain games.

750,000 people live in Qatar, and only 250,000 of them are Qataris! How crazy! The rest are TCNs, like in Kuwait. They are also rich because of oil. One liter of gas costs you 25 cents! Doesn’t that make you sick!?

Unlike Kuwait, drinking is allowed here- only in the desert and hotels. How they moniter this… I have no idea. The driving is just as bad- just imagine Kuwait, with a few drinks knocked back.

Horse and camel racing are a big deal here, and another propular pastime is falcon hunting. They take the falcons in the desert to hunt for game. They are very expensive and can cost up to $20,000! The guide took us to a falcon souq. It was so incredible! There were about 25 falcons, and they all had eyecovers on so they weren’t disctracted. They were hooked on perches, but totally out in the open. I asked for a picture, and this old man, clad in his dish dash and red headcover (meaning he had been to Mecca) went up on the platfrom where the falcons were and told me and Will to get up there and take our picture! It was so crazy! I was less than a foot form these powerful birds and it was amazing.

After that they took us to the camel market. The are popular for racing, but they are also eaten, especially during Rammadan. We saw a million other things, but I am getting tired of writing!

Tonight we decided to be lazy and get comfy. We ordered room service and watched You’ve Got Mail for the millionth time. The fruit thing is still up in the air, but tomorrow I think I’m going to make it my breakfast. Its not like its caviar or something! Its a Lebanese banana!

August 29, 2005

I had a good day today! I wish vacation lasted forever. I wish everyday was vacation. People may say, “Well then is it really vacation?” I’m willing to find out.

Will and I woke up about the same time and left the lights off. He checked his league, while I lay in bed wishing I could go back to sleep.

We ate a late breakfast.. and I ended up being a “rebel” and having a banana out of “the” frust basket. ha ha. what a goof.

We watched some TV and finally decided to get around. We called a “normal people” taxi to take us to the city center just to get out and about.

They have about a thousand athletic clothing/shoe stores, and about a million baby clothing/furniture/everything else your kid needs stores. I guess that’s because all women do here is reproduce 5 kids and then spend the rest of their lives chasing their little ones around, hence the demand for atheletic shoes.

I saw the funniest thing and am kicking myself that I didn’t get a picture! They have an abbaya Barbie! I love Barbie, and collected them up until my 2nd year of college (totally dork, I know). Maybe I should clairfy- I didn’t play with them, I just collected some of them… am I making sense? I probably sound totally weird. I hope you know what I mean! Anyway… back to the matter at hand...She had her long, black outfit, but she also came with a “regular” outfit- with a head scarf to go with it of course! Pretty crazy. I always wanted the teacher or singer or model Barbie. These girls want the Barbie with the stroller included (totally joking). I guess that is a cultural thing, and the way different groups are taught.

We ended up watching Bewitched in their theatre. The “new” movies in Qatar are just as behind as in Kuwait. I think Will may have fallen asleep through it. It was pretty cheesy, but cute. I love Nicole Kidman. After the movieI drove Will crazy for the next half hour twitching my nose and tugging my ear, and making the sound effects whenever Samantha moved her nose. After the move we had dinner… and TCBY. As I was walking ot the table I got a text telling me my visa was in. I was excited, but my elation quickly turned to reality. “It’s here.” I am officially required to be a responsible adult. My puppy dog days are over. :(

We walked around some more and decided to get a taxi and head to the hotel. As we waited Will looked at me in utter disgust and said, “You have a booger hanging out of your nose.”

Great. Thanks sweetie for the sickly look.

“It’s one of those that you can’t fix until you get alone.” Even better.

I got my mirror out and he was totally right. Something about living in the desert makes the whole nose situation very bad. I won’t gross you all out.

I tried sniffing really hard… nothing. I did this for 3 or 4 minutes as Will aimlessly tried to get us a taxi.

“It’s because I have a booger huh!!!?”

We waited and waited (good thing it wasn’t humid or hot or anything! <--- sarcasm!!)

Finally 2 pull up. A nice one, and one that looks like 30 drunk Qataris piled in and decided to take this tiny 1980 toyota camel tipping.

It, of course, stops for us.

It was because of my snot. I’m totally convinced.

Do we have an aura that screams we are hicks from Oklahoma or something!? Did our hotel send you as a joke!?

We hop in and I begin praying. As we are listening to Britney Spear’s “Toxic“, the only think I keep thinking about was that she must have written this song after riding in this orange taxi and breathing the stench. I will now forever associate this song with tonight’s ride.

As I tried to buckle up I realized Safety is about as important as writing your favorite detergent company to tell them how great they make your clothes smell… it’s that big a deal here.

I pull and pull and get nothing but a small strap. The buckle is trapped somwehere. I am panicking! I don’t want to die in a toxic orange taxi!

I thought I’d say something, but he was driving like a bat out of hell and the strange crackling and ricketing sounds from the bottom of the car- probably very important parts- were deafening and I’m sure if I would have said something he wouldn’t have cared anyway. I stick my arm in the strap- because that was going to hold me in if something happened!

What a ride.

I do have to say it was our cheapest ride yet.

I wonder why…

So, tomorrow ends our trip. Sigh.

I start my new life Sunday. Sigh.

At least I’ll have a few days to get myself together.

August 30,2005

Last night I could hardly breathe before finally drifting to sleep. I kept waiting for the front desk to call saying there was a disturbance.

I lay there, flat on my back, my eyes wide open, staring at the blank ceiling.

You would have thought I robbed a bank or something and I drove to the nearest warehouse to wait out the search.

Will and I are typically not extremely unruly or overly loud love makers. I guess you could put it this way: we wouldn’t be the ones you’d whisper about at the neighborhood association meetings. I don’t know if it was the fact that for the last 3 1/2 months we have had to play “beat the clock my parents are in the kitchen and can probably hear,” or the fact that it was the last day of vacation andwe were going to have to go back to living with my parents and being sneaky,(I think it was the first factor), but we morphed into different people or something. We weren’t “yelly” or anything, but around midnight the wall against our bed took a beating, leaving our neighbors to pound back on the wall- I’m sure that is a universal “shut up” signal.

I was freaked out that the “Holy Muslim Police” were going to storm our room last night and make Will and I stay in different places. Today it sounds funny and silly, last night I was freaking out!

* * *

So, our trip is over. So sad. I am totally resolved to believe end of vacation attitudes are just as crucial as the start of vacation momentum. We woke up fine and called in b-fast- and I ate way too much. We casually got around and did our room check- 4 times.

“Are you sure you have everything, Britt? We won’t be able to come back if you forget something. Did you check the bathroom?

The table?

The… the.. the..”

He does this a million times because he is convinced I will realize something I forgot- me being the scatterbrained one. The joke was on him today though.

We left the hotel and caught a taxi- much better than last night’s.

I totally cracked up on the way to the airport. They were playing filthy music- with the “F” work as the main noun, verb, adjective and everything in between. Amazing. They won’t show a kissing scene in the public movie theatre, and you can’t wear shorts, but you can say the F bomb all day long. Only in the Middle East. The FCC would have had a heart atatck had that been said in America. How funny.

We got to the airport-the super tiny Doha airport, and grapped a seat to wait to check in.

I thought I was at a college frat party after about 5 minutes. There were 3 older men, clad in togas!! How crazy! Were they being serious? I think they might have been. I didn’t know people still wore togas!

I was waiting any second for 30 fat guys with huge beer bellies to roll in a keg and a funnel, and start taking body shots off the women- all vieled and in their black abbayas. ha ha. What a strange thought.

We had been sitting for a few minutes when my daily birth control alarm went off on my phone (did I way I was scatterbrained? These last 3 months of being “scheduleless” have left me so forgetful that I have to remind myself to breathe). Anyway, all of a sudden Will asks, “Where’s my phone?”

Great.

Mr. Responsible forgot something. Who knows what I’ve left behind. We begin searching. Here is a good rule to live by: if you search for something for longer than 15 minutes- there is a good chance it is not in the spot you are searching.

Then, the “male” in Will comes out and he tries to put it all on the bonde. Ha- I don’t think so!

“I really thought I handed it to you.”

“No, Will. You didn’t.”

“Check your purse again.”

My purse can barely hold tic-tacs- your phone is not there!

We search more and finally Will says “I have to go back.”

I don’t like “I.”

“I” is bad. It refers to one person- not “we.” He is basically telling me, “sit here with the toga guy and make sure our bags are okay while I go back to the hotel to find my phone.”

I was so nervous to be left alone with the ancient frat boys. I thought I was going to have to purchase a bag of Depends. I did just fine, though I did sit next to a pair of 5 year old twins that made me reconsider my entire opinion of children all together.

Will came back , phoneless, so that was a disappointment. I know he was sort of bummed about it because not only was he going to have to hear about it, but he was also going to have to pay for it. I decided not to give him the responsible talk.

We sat around the airport for a while and ate at A&W… and then TCBY… again (we don’t have on herein Kuwait). After that we went to our gate- but I first had to go through a metal detector. I had went through the first one just fine- actually, I set it off and no one said a word! That makes you feel good! I wasn’t joking about no one paying attention!

Anyway, I walked through this time and it went off and the army guy- who didn’t speak english, angrily said, “go.”

Go? Where?

He motioned towards this cold steel door.

“Go.”

Holy crap. What is behind that door!? Are they going to strip search me? I really don’t want to go behind the door . God help us all.

I went in and this old lady frisked me and used a hand held detector- it was my belt. I could have told her that, but she was the “behind the steel door” metal nazi, so I just shut up and let her do her job. I’m glad that is over.

We got to our gate and hung around. We finally were able to board. It is so amazing here. They don’t have terminals since the airport is so small, so they bus everyone out to the plane. You would have thought the people flying with us were told there was an all you can eat buffet on the plane because they were pushing and shoving like not only was there a buffet, but it was also free. It was frustrating but sort of humerous.

After we fought our way to our seats- we breathed a sign of relief. Sort of. We were in the very back of the place and were the only westerners in a 20 seat radius. The plane was hot and it smelled terrible. I had flashbacks to “toxic” and my night in the taxi. It was pretty gross. All Will kept saying was, “This is so ghetto.” He was pretty accurate. thankfully it is a short flight. I wished we would have flew Kuwait Air to Doha and Qatar air on the way back… wishful thinking.

We got in and I got my visa stamped and everything else I had to do. The Gauntlet wasn’t too bad tonight. It was a nice change. I am always expexcting pandemonium so was surprised last night.

We got in to find out a million morsels of crappy news, but I won’t get into everything because it will take way to long and I’ve talked way to much about stupid things that don’t really matter that much! So, that was our trip. you probably feel like you went along you know so much. I guess I overdid it a bit. That shouldn’t be a surprise though.

Thanks for sticking through! Have a great day. <3

Have you ever been so ready to get out of your current situation to the point where even a gynecology appointment sounded good?

I’m so there.

Maybe for some of you its work, or going to the inlaws, I’m sure you are thinking of your “thing“ this very moment.

For me it is staying here.

Tomorrow, Praise the Lord, we are off. I woke up this morning full of jubulation. I seriously wanted to shout out undecipherable words, flailng my hands everywhere while jumping on the bed. I am beyond just “so ready for vacation,” I am in an entirely different hemisphere of “ready.” I am literally foaming at the mouth.

Things at the Brady Bunch complex got better ever since the whole “let’s lay everything on the table” night, but they have continued to be so very tense and awkward and have seemed to get worse again over the last week or so. I’m not sure what it is. They are either upset with me, or Will, or both of us… I don’t know. Maybe they are just ready for us to go. Today something happened (and unfortuantely I can no longer say since I have been forced into “Witness Protection") and it took everything inside of me to keep my head from rotating and vomitting pea soup.

I so wish I could vent here.

Anyway, I think my parents are just as ready for us to leave. I don’t know what brought me to this conclusion…

maybe it was the fact that my mom made my dad call the lady at housing to see if there was any way possible we could have our own place the night we got back from this trip…

can’t be sure though…

Can anyone book me that optometrist appointment?

So, I don’t know if it’s just “we are so ready for you to get out because you’ve lived with us far to long” awkwardness that is mounting between us or something else, but I know that whatever it is, we need to go in order to salvage what we still have.

You want to hear the kicker? We won’t be able to get an apartment until after the 5th or 6th. So more waiting.

Enough about that. I am posting today simply because I do not want to be packing. Back up… I know I just went on and on (to the point where you almost clicked off my blog) about how excited I was to be going, but I really am not looking forward to packing. We have been living out of our suitcases for over three months now, so I’m tired of looking at them. Luckily my parents are lending us their suitcases so we don’t have to dump our crap everywhere and then have to repack when we move out of their aparmtnet (7 years later… or at least it seems that way). I have tons of clothes still in boxes, which are so very carefully stacked that if I would ever need to get into them, they would collapse like a game of Jenga. So, I’m only taking what I have in my suitcase, and it’s quite a limited selection. From what I hear its swimming pool humid. Your clothes seem to get heavier and looser throughout the day because there is so much moisture in the air.

Gross.

I am really looking forward to our flight over tomorrow and I can’t wait to tell you all about it, especially after last week’s experience! We are flying their country’s airline, which was ranked 8th in the world. Okay, yes, I know that’s like saying “I won 8th place in a beauty contest that had 10 people in it!” but seriously, I think there are a ton of airlines out there so I’m thinkig it will be a nice trip over- it couldn’t be worse than Kuwait Air that’s for sure!

So, in a way I will actually be on the same weekend as you. Wow. I know you are so thrilled.  I hope you have a great day! I can’t wait to fill you all in on what is going on while we’re away!

See you, from yet another country, tomorrow! <3

Later that night retraction…

Okay, it’s been a few hours since my post, but be it the fact that they are ready for us to leave tomorrow, or maybe something else, my family was very pleasant this evening. Hopefully things will stay that way. Anyway, I thought I should add that in just incase “someone” was reading this.

Apparently we live in the armpit of the Middle East (gross analogy!).

Okay- minus Saudi, Iran, Iraq, and maybe a couple of others- we do.

I don’t know. Kuwait has some really cool places, but it also has some not so nice areas… maybe I’m being too generous. Anyway, my family’s trip to Qatar opened their eyes to the beauty that is in the Middle East- minus the humidy! They had a good time.

The Middle East is known for their gold and pearls, so my parents brought me back a gorgeous string of pinkish pearls with a matching pearl braclet. I can’t even really describe the color, but they are incredible. They also brought me a chunky amber charm. I have to get a necklace to put it on. That was a fun surprise.

Anyway, Qatar sounds awesome… for Middle East traveling that is- plus they have an Arby’s, so I’m already sold.

Qatar is hosting the Asia Games next summer, so there is all sorts of awesome construction and things to see. My parent’s got some really good pictures of everything.

I’m not sure where Will and I will go for my trip for a visa, but it sounds like any of the countries we were considering will be a good choice. It would be neat to see Qatar since my family just went there. If only things weren’t so freakin’ expensive over here!!! I do think, though, that the Qatari rial is a lot better than the Kuwaiti dinar.

Anyway, my family took this tour of the area and learned some pretty interesting stuff. Get this, it is totally legal there for a man to have up to four wives. However, he has to buy them all houses that are similar in price and they have to all live on the same street, and he has to have children with all of them (talk about desperate housewives!!). Then, if he buys one wife something he has to buy the other wives the exact same thing. If he spends a few days at one wife’s house, he has to spend the same amount of time at his other wives’ houses. If he doesn’t, a wife has the legal right to call up one of his other wives and ask if he has been over there. If he has been at another wife’s house but not hers, she can report him missing! Talk about some major drama!

I’m sure all men think they hit the jack pot- being able to have more than one beautiful and fertile wife.. ha ha, but I guess the joke is on them! I can just imagine what Will would think if he had to hear not one Brittny, but TWO Brittnys telling him to get off that stupid Play Station. How funny.

All of that was probably totally confusing! Oh well, I did my best.

Well, I have some more job frustrations. The main boss that is over the entire division where I will be thought my first day was yesterday. He was hoping I would be able to train under the lady whose place I’ll be taking. It’s frustrating to know that the lady will be gone by the time I get there… and I really don’t even have any clue when I will start yet! I hope it is soon. I would really like to be able to take our trip, get my visa, and start within 2 weeks, but I guess we’ll see.

Tuesday we’re having more visitors over (ha ha). I think like at 5 that morning, people from Housing are going to come by and do inventory of our apartment. So, I am going to be cleaning house today to get ready for the Housing Gestapo. Hopefully everything will be okay with that.

Wow.

Boring post today!

Sorry guys.

Hang tight, maybe this afternoon I’ll have something interesting to report, but if not have a great rest of the weekend

I’m about to take the shortest “vacation” (ha ha… vacation) in my life.

My tourist visa is expiring this weekend, so you’ll never believe how I’ll get to spend my Wednesday!! ( <---- sarcastic excitement) On a vacation to one of the most beautiful places on earth (okay, so I’m TOTALLY lying now)!

Because my visa is expiring, I am required to leave the country and obtain a new one. So, today I will fly out of Kuwait (with my parents and sister, because they actually are going on vacation), sit at the Qatar airport for a couple of hours, and then fly back to Kuwait that same day and get a new stamp. All that for a stamp! Pretty expensive trip for a stamp.

I wish Will could have went along with me, but its sort of silly for him to pay for a ticket when I’ll be with my parents. It just would have made those few hourts of sitting at the airport more fun.

I am such a goof. I got a little misty eyed as I said bye to him this morning. I know I’ll see him at the airport when I get back, but I’m all nervous about having to do all this visa stuff alone, so I was sort of sad. I told him I’ve never been a whole country away from him before! He just sort of laughed.

To him I’ll just see him a few hours later than normal- he sees the beginning and end. I, however, see all the details in between from who I’m going to sit by on the way home to getting my visa stamped by the scary Kuwait army men. I can’t just go from start all the way to finish, I am focusing WAY to much on the journey today!  This is totally different than doing things back in the states- I feel like a kid who got lost in the grocery store! I wish I had Will to hold my hand while I did all this! I sound so silly, but I guess that’s okay.  This is sort of a new things today, so it’s okay to feel like a small fish in a big pond as I venture on my own for the very first time in over three months (isn’t that crazy!? I have not done anything alone in over 3 months! wow)!

This whole thing should be quite an experience.

Here’s the kicker… I might have to do this whole thing AGAIN in a few days! Because I just got a job, the company will need to get me a working visa and I can’t be in the country while they obtain that because they will have to cancel my tourist visa. So, I will have to fly out again, but this time for a few days until they are able to get me one. Such madness!

I guess I’ve unknowingly started a goal to visit all the Middle Eastern states in a week’s span or something! Hopefully Will will go with me on that trip. Someone will have to be with me then, but it would actually seem more like a vacation if Will got to go. If not, one of my parents will have to. It’s just not safe for a young American girl to be out alone for all the guys wanting their second or third wife.

I’ll be a Middle Eastern world traveler by September! So anyway, I’m sure I’ll have interesting things to report tomorrow after this adventure.

See you all Thursday and have a good Wednesday