Parents are so funny and have this unique ability to con their children into doing something totally normal and acting as though it’s a real treat or reward. As a lot of you are parents, I’m sure you can relate.

One of my parents’ stealthy tactics was bribing us to clean our rooms, empty the dishwasher, etc. and in exchange me and P could have a “sleepover.” A sleepover consisted of me and P sleeping on the pullout couch in the living room and watching a movie.

In our own house.

Where we already lived and slept.

Why did we think that was so spectacular? Couldn’t we have figured out that there was really absolutely no incentive to cleaning our rooms?! How silly. Yet we fell for it every time. Such suckers. Our favorite movies, if I remember, were Home Alone, Fern Gully, and A Little Princess. I’m sure there were more, but that’s what came to mind.

We would stay up late- which looking back was probably only 11- and sneak snacks out of the kitchen, really thinking we were being quiet.

We weren’t.

And when we’re together 15 years later we still have sleepovers when we get to see each other. Only we most definitely don’t empty the dishwasher or clean our rooms beforehand.

That’s for suckers.

In one month from today I’ll be headed to Chicago for what feels like a monumental sort of occasion.

P turns 21.

21/

It just doesn’t feel real for so many reasons. It makes me feel old! I remember her in nothing but my mom’s heels and a blue tu-tu. I remember her having Memorial Day concerts in our living room for our family. I remember her puking in my hair when we were on vacation in Iowa.

Let’s just say I have a lot of stories-

as does she.

Anyway, I’m sure we’ll talk more about that next month.

I thought I’d just commemorate that the countdown has begun. I’m pretty darn excited about it. Should we throw her a surprise party? The more the merrier, right? I’m sure all my blog friends in her apartment wouldn’t be weird at all.

Maybe we’ll grease the tracks for next year. 

Actually said to me today, “I can’t wait for you to get fat!”

Girls are so nice, right?

1. We hardly ever have bread in our house. Like ever. Likely because I’m capable of eating an entire loaf in two days.It would be like an alcoholic keeping a bottle of Jose Cuervo in their pantry. Probably not a good idea.

2. There’s almost always a load of clean laundry piled atop the chest in our bedroom. I think Will would kill over if it was missing, so I like to keep it there for consistency’s sake. And to keep him alive.

3. I really love my sister. I know you know that, but recently (like the last couple of years) I’ve really, really grown to love her more. I think it has to do with our ages and where we are in our lives.

4. I really like the Bridget Jones movies. A lot. I’ve decided most either love or hate them. There’s not really an in between.

5. I like Extra Spearmint gum. I personally feel it’s the best.

6. I hope I made the right decision with a two year masters program. It has pros and cons. The pro is that you definitely aren’t as inundated as you are with a one year accelerated program. The con is that you spend two years of your freaking adult life doing school when you could have been done in a year.

7. I don’t own a coffee maker and I’m a grown woman. It’s probably more common than I think, but it’s sort of weird to me. Although Will doesn’t, I love coffee, and now that I’m back to school feel as though I may rely on it more. Perhaps I should invest in one.

8. I bought my first Scentsy last week. I think women are WAY too fanatical about that stuff. Yet, I became one of them and gave in and bought one. I’m skeptical because Will and I really like the Glade Plug-ins, mostly because we have Boz and Lucy inside with us and like to have a continual flow of good smelling-ness throughout our house at all times. With a Scentsy it only works when it’s on. Eh who knows. Perhaps I’ll be a crazy fanatical convert too. I’m just ready for it to come in!

9. I actually dreamed about APA citation last week. Who does that!?

10. Go download the YouVersion app if you haven’t already. It’s definitely been so great for me to have the Bible on my phone. There’s absolutely no excuse for me not to read it! In fact, I’ve spent several mornings reading as I blowdry my hair in the morning. So efficient.

More to come…

1. I do not understand NASCAR. I mean, I understand the general concept. However, I do not understand how my husband can watch three hours of it in one sitting. The man doesn’t even like to watch me pull out of the drive way, yet if you put a man in a fancy suit full of various company patches and let them drive as fast as they want he’s enamored. I don’t get it.

2. Will got chocolate covered honey buns- and yes, they’re pretty freaking good. However, they’re like 350 calories for one. Do you know how much Special K with Strawberries I can have in place of that?!

3. I had black coffee last week which really surprised me. I’m much more of a skim milk, two sugars kind of girl. But last week was a pretty bad week, and therefore I draw the conclusion that I had to hit the hard stuff.

4. I’m really loving Mary Kay’s new Vitamin C Serum. It’s like magic.

5. It’s only 2 weeks until I’m reunited with my lovely ladies Sarah and Theresa and get to share in Theresa’s very special day. Actually, days! Her birthday is the day before the wedding. Pretty great.

6. I start school next Monday and am sort of freaking out.

7. Will and I are contemplating a December trip to Minneapolis. It’s not like an extravagant trip or anything, it’s Minneapolis, but if you’ve read my blog since 2005 you know it’s been a place Will and I have frequented and have definitely enjoyed each time we visited. I don’t want to go because in my mind we should just save our money and go somewhere we’ve never been, but Will’s argument is that it’s just a small “mini trip” and a getaway would be nice. Oh the fun of trying to make a decision. We shall see!

8. It’s fantasy football time again. For the first time in my married life I’m fully embracing being a football widow. I’m sure I’ll provide you all the details very soon, so we’ll just leave it at that.

9. Have you ever had a Whataburger with cheese? If you haven’t, you aren’t living and should really do it. Right now.

10. I’m really hoping for a good rain. We need it, but I also enjoy the rain. In fact, I have a few rain showers and thunderstorms downloaded on my ipod for when I can’t get to sleep. I feel sort of like an earthy hippie type writing that. I have no idea why.

So I got my bridesmaid’s dress fitted for this gal’s wedding (so excited by the way!) and went to pick it up today. It fits like a glove.

Almost.

Almost as in it fits so great and snug and secure that I know after 10 minutes of having it on- or eating- I will be turning blue from the lack of oxygen to my brain.

Okay I’m exaggerating. Plus now I have Theresa in a panic that my dress is too tight (don’t worry, it’s not. It’s blog exaggeration). Plus- that’s what they make Spanx for, right? I will say, however, Theresa- I vow to try my hardest to get rid of some arm fat to ensure that my bouquet is held nicely and that there is no bulge in any of your pictures.

And I will try to forego seconds on desserts.

Every other time.

<3

Yes, I was there.

We drove down to Dallas Friday afternoon to cheer on the Sooners- and subsequently watched them lose on Saturday. Sure, I could talk offense with you, or Sam Bradford, but really? Why waste a good internet space?

My point exactly.

Perhaps the biggest travesty is the fact that I didn’t even get a fried snickers out of the whole ordeal. I seriously anticipate those things like a junior high boy encountering his first set of junior high girl lips.

Seriously. I LOVE. LOVE. LOVE those things.

And once a freaking year I get the opportunity to have them. And I missed it this year. All because I didn’t get one before the game and we darted out of there after the stupid Sooner loss. Can I blame this on them?

Let’s.

So can we just move on? I had this whole cutesy post in my mind about Rivalry Week, but with the loss (and lack of fried snickers) I think it’s best to tuck it away for next year.

Assuming we win.

Moving on.

If I recall correctly I promised you guys a B-Love moment, yes?

So last Friday the group I work directly with went out to lunch. In addition to “the group,” the vice president of our section as well as the director, program manager, and my boss accompanied us. So, although it was a casual lunch there are still certain things that just aren’t appropriate to discuss over grilled fish with the VP, you know?

To set it up, to the left of me is my coworker that I work most closely with. Directly in front of me is our director- and on one side of him is the VP, and on the other is the program manager.

So everyone is talking, no big deal, and somehow the conversation goes to dancing. Who knows how, and really it’s irrelevant. It gets mentioned that none of us (the girls at the table- one being my boss and the other being the person sitting right next to me) danced at the Christmas party last year. My boss and coworker friend quickly remind everyone at the table that they did in fact dance at the Christmas party.

I, however, did not.

See, I have very strict rules about dancing. Rules perhaps I will share with you all in another post. Rules that include never, ever dancing at work functions.

I live by these rules and they cannot be broken.

Anyway- it is because of these rules I did not dance at the Christmas party.

That and no other reason.

“Brittny, didn’t dance,” someone said.

And then all of a sudden, with no lag in response time, with no thought of the implications of the reaction, my coworker spewed, “That’s because Brittny was drunk.”

Silence.

Mortification.

Awkwardness.

Laughter.

Hello VP of my office, director, and BOSS! Your apparent alcoholic employee will be tipping back a flask of tequila in the bathroom now.

My face got so hot and I literally started to sweat. I looked over at her and she looked at me and immediately said, “I’m so sorry! I have no idea why I just said that!”

And then for the rest of lunch that was all that was discussed.

Nice.

For the record?

So not drunk at the Christmas party. Sure I had some wine, but I was no where near inebriation. More like what I like to consider as “Brittny Plus.” But I mean the more you’re at the table swearing you weren’t drunk, the more people think that you were, you know?

”Sure we believe you. You weren’t drunk. Riiight.”

Ugh.

After the awkward laughter, and “I’m so sorrys” from my coworker, it was finally time to go.

Thank God. There are just some things you don’t want your bosses to know about you, and that? That is definitely one of them.

I can’t help but cringe every time I think about it.

As well as every time I see those people in the hall.

Can I please be sick at the Christmas party this year?

Better yet, I think we should have our own Christmas party?

Apparently I’m lots of fun.

(ha ha)

So tomorrow I’m headed to Colorado for a quick overnight trip. I think it was snowing up there earlier last week, but thankfully I just checked the weather and it looks like it will be pretty decent. How much would it suck to get stranded, right?

That’s my only news right now.

Crazy thought- but how about I try to post multiple times this week like a normal blogger!? Great idea.

Let’s cross our fingers that I don’t suck.

Boredom will make you do crazy things.

Like eat.

Or post for no good reason.

Or watch totally stupid crap on TV (Hello MTV True Life!).

Or quite possibly the worst of all-

Facebook.

I know.

How dare I speak ill of our beloved Facebook right?

Ha- don’t worry, I’m not.

Truth be told I think I’ve spent more hours on there the last month than I have my entire Facebook “career.”

Heh.

Facebook Career.

But something gets terribly skewed when you’re so.incredibly.bored and sit online for hours despite having plenty to do.

(cough- cleaning)

You start on the homepage looking at all the updates.

Then you go to your page (for the billionth time) to see who’s left you a comment.

And then you go to a few of you favorite friends’ pages and say hello, see what’s been going on etc.

And then you sit there.

Bored again.

You could clean.

Who are you kidding? You’d way rather sit in front of a computer screen than face your laundry pile.

You could go for a walk.

Eh… fresh air is overrated.

So once again you’re in front of the computer screen.

And then it happens.

You start looking at all your friend’s pages.

You begin looking at all their posts, their pictures, and their friends.

There’s no nice way to put it.

You’re facebook stalking.

The more friends you look at the crazier you get. It’s like this switch flips on and you’ve become this crazy ex girlfriend sitting outside your Facebook friend’s house waiting for them to come home from their date so you can size up the girlfriend’s car and hair and shoes.

It’s like you’ve become the creepy guy that calls your crush a million times but every time she pics up the phone and says hello you panic, chicken out, and hang up.

It’s like you’re BE FRI part of the BEST FRIENDS necklace and are watching to make sure that ST ENDS is not cheating on you.

You’re completely out of control!

Sigh…

As you can see, I’ve been way too bored the last few days. Although I don’t think I’m anywhere near the crazy ex girlfriend facebook stalker status, I must admit I’ve logged a lot of hours on that poor site. It’s like I’m studying for an MFA- and it’s not a Master of Fine Arts. It’s a Master of Facebook Activities.

Thankfully I can say I have never gotten into the whole, “So and So wants to invite you to have a drink on them! or So and So thinks you’re the 9th nicest person they know! Vote for them too!” So, I mean my Facebook activity could most definitely be far worse I suppose.

Right?

It’s like this awful drug that keeps reeling you in! You want to stop so bad. You want to stop and be a productive member of society but you’re so tempted by that high. That “one last hit” on someone’s wall…

it hurts so good.

So, I’m trying to quit.

Okay, I’m lying. I’m not trying to quit.

Although I’d be a genius if I could invent a patch for quitting Facebook.

Hmmm....

Anyway- I really need to tear myself off of the computer a little more so I can be more productive this fall.

I could take up knitting.

Or basket weaving.

Or sopapilla making.

Or maybe just learn how to spell “sopapilla.”

...

Or I could just stay on Facebook.

I could do that too.

Maybe I’ll try to quit another day. That sounds like a plan.

See you on your wall (or outside your house).

I swear I’m only kidding about the house part. I’m not a Facebook stalker.

Hey I saw that look! I’m not and you know it. Scouts honor.

<3

I <3 Chicago.

I already knew that because I've been there before, however this past weekend reaffirmed it once again.

I had the most amazing weekend with my mom and sister, and it's something I'll treasure for a long time to come. Especially since I have no idea when all three of us will be together again all as once.

I flew to Chicago Thursday night and was greeted by my parents and sister. We had a late dinner at Gino's Pizza- which was amazing. Nothing welcomes you to Chicago quite like a deep dish pizza blanketed in layers of cheese at 9:00 at night.

Friday morning my dad took off for a short trip with his brother for a guys weekend in Indianapolis, so it was just us girls left on our own to shop and have a wonderful time.

Saturday morning we started off at Panera Bread followed by shopping, shopping, and more shopping. I haven't been shopping in AGES. Will and I are on the Dave Ramsey plan and we've got that "gazelle intensity" to get out of debt and make sacrifices other places. Anyway, it was so.much.fun. to buy new clothes. My mom is the best. So we did that all day Saturday- followed by The Cheesecake Factory for dinner. It was a great day- and I was actually a tiny bit sore from all that walking. I don't think that's good! What does that say about my gym workout?! Perhaps I need to change up my routine?

Sunday was a lot of fun. My sister stayed the night in her apartment the night before so my mom and I got an early start on all the Labor Day sales followed by a trip to the Shed's Aquarium.

Along with the entire state of Illinois.

It was insane.

A zoo.

An insane zoo aquarium.

It was still fun. This was my second time to go. I went with my dad the first time so it's cool that I got to go with my mom this time. After Shed's my sister met up with us and we had some coffee and had a relaxing afternoon followed by-

The Blue Man Group that night!

It was such a fun show and I'm so glad we went. Guys, my mom was freaking cracking us up so much. I don't think I've heard her cackle or laugh so hard she cried as much as I did that night. It was classic and I simply can't do it justice in this blog post. The funniest part was at the end. There's this whole "thing" with strobe lights and loud music and toilet paper being pulled from holders all over the auditorium. My mom kept yelling at me and P to "Pull! Pull! Pull!" while she was laughing so hard tears were streaming down her face and while the strobes were going and the music was pumping. P just looked at me and yelled, "I feel like we're at a rave with our mom!" Too funny.

Anyway, that was lots of fun.

After the show we went for a late steak- which is where I caught the end of the OU game.

And saw all I really needed to see.

I called Will immediately after (who was down in Dallas to watch the loss) and told him that perhaps this was good. Perhaps it's good that we are disappointed at the start of the season instead of the end like always.

He didn't agree.

Yesterday was spent doing more shopping. This time for P's room. Groceries, stuff for school, etc. It was fun. I love her place and I can't seem to wrap my head around the fact that she's all grown up and in this giant city living this adult life. It makes me look at myself and realize how old I've gotten as well and how surreal it seems. I still remember being in 5th grade and having her barf on my hair while we were visiting my grandparents in Iowa. Good times.

She's come a long way from those days. She's a woman in the city. Remember this post? Its sort of the same, only with her now. She’s back in America, all grown up, and experiencing this whole new life for the first time and I’m glad I get to be a small part of it.

So that was Sunday. Oh- and we also had a ridiculous amount of food. We at at the Five Guys burger joint, followed by dessert at the Ghiradelli place (um or however you spell it) and, well, I think the list goes on from there.

It was around the time I finished my dessert that afternoon that I started to feel a little bummed.

Which is what I promised Will I wouldn’t do. He knows me so well. He made me promise not to get bummed out early and to enjoy every minute of my time with my mom and sister until the end. So- I tried to do that.

P and I walked around and she took me to “The Bean” (not the official name, but the one I’m pretty sure most people know it by). It was a nice walk, perfect weather, and really nice. Definitely a walk I appreciated and will tuck away in my little pocket of memories I want to keep forever (whatever that means...).

We had a quiet night in and watched TV and just hung out, which was nice. It’s those little things of doing “nothing” that you can sometimes miss the most when you’re away from your family.

Today came early and it was sad to say goodbye. I hope we’re all able to see each other soon, and I hate that we’re all so far away now. I guess that’s normal though, but it doesn’t mean I have to like it, right?

So here I am, back in Oklahoma (um, which is a far cry from Chicago, right?). It’s been a typical evening, followed by a typical (thankfully short) week, followed by a typical weekend.

It was nice to step out of the mundaneness for a while. I’m thankful for my trip.

And I’m also thankful for the Chicago pizza which will be arriving to my door Wednesday afternoon.

I’m off to watch TV with Will.

Happy Labor Day!

P:I just read your blog. I’m pleased to hear you were wearing underwear.

Me:Yeah- I was just going to direct you there. It was bad. I felt all dent-y and fat all day.

P:Believe me he wasn’t looking at that. He hasn’t seen young a** like that in 30 years. You just gave him his Father’s Day early.

***

Coworker:You should have just played it off and talked about it- making everyone else uncomfortable too! You should have been all, “Hey Mother-in-law- I didn’t mean to leave you out! I guess you need to see too!” and then pretend to lift your skirt.

HA HA

Yeah- I can just imagine how that would have went over with Pat.

Fun times. Just thought I’d share because both these comments cracked me up.

Watching “Jon and Kate” right now. I think they’re announcing their divorce tonight. I know we’re outsiders looking in, and we only see a portion of their life, but anybody have opinions on this situation?

More to come <3