Alone I sit at the computer.

I just scarfed down my second bowl of Kashi (note to self- it’s not considered South Beach Friendly if you eat enough to feed a boy’s choir) and am listening to the night’s prayer call.

I prefer not to eat alone, and I prefer not to eat in front of this box, but I thought you would be more company than listening to the TV blare, so here I am.

Current listen?

Sia: Breathe Me.

I’m currently downloading a wealth of new songs. My sister keeps me cool. She emails me all the songs I HAVE to have, so I download them and she is usually right- it’s mostly good stuff.

So anyway, now that we agree you have to know all these stupid and pointless facts, I’ll move on.

This weekend was definitely an “I want to go home” one. I don’t particularly know why. Okay, maybe I do. Do you have time to listen? I don’t.

Anyway, since we established the fact that I’m feeling a little homesick I’ll fast forward to today. I got a little hangy air freshener to put in the company car. It is a yankee one. I love those things. It is called Home Sweet Home, and honestly, if it hadn’t been named that, that’s what I would have said it reminded me of.

Was I torturing myself with this air freshener or what!?

In fact, I’m such a loser that I brought the wrapper upstairs with me so that I could remember the smell.

We learned in interpersonal communication (and an old spice commercial!) that scent is the strongest link to our memory. I believe it. I opened the air freshner about 5 minutes from my apartment and I was distracted by a flood of memories. So many memories all at the same time that I couldn’t even sort them through.

I thought about my parent’s house back home. It smelled like that. My mom loved spicy and cinnamony candles and would light them all the time. It reminded me of that house, and my heart hurt because after moving around my whole entire life, that was the house that anchored me and now someone else lives there. That is a post in itself but I think that might be one I never post publicly because it would drag on forever and make me cry.

It also reminded me of Christmas. If it hadn’t been called Home Sweet Home it should have been called Christmas. It reminded me of all the candles my mom would burn and all the cooking she would do and those scented big pine cones and a million other christmasy things. Gosh I want to go on but I vowed not to stay on here all night- and what am I doing!?

It reminded me of Sarah C’s house too. I had a lot of fun growing up there. I wonder how she is doing. I hope well. The last time I saw her was, gosh… I am thinking.. it had to have been Christmas break before we moved over here. We met at Atlanta Bread for lunch. That was the last time we talked. I know she is doing great. I know it.

It also reminded me of apple cider and freezing our butts off at high school games and OU games.

I was just shocked at all the things that were overtaking me. I just wanted to be home so bad.

I waver a lot about what we should do but I’ve just been homesick the last few days. I’m just tired of fighting for what is right and seeing everything bad win. I know that happens back home too, but I have to believe it is not near the magnitude that it is here. Someone said something that is sadly true about our company, “All the good people leave because they get tired of trying to fight the system.” It’s so true.

Will and I just want to work and go home but I’m afraid the first part may not be a viable option for us for much longer. I don’t know that for sure. I mean ask me tomorrow when I’m having a , “I can make it here” day and it might be totally different.

Anyway, so here I sit by myself.

I hate that.

Especially on I miss home days.

On top of that I’m tired and I just want to go to sleep.

Will is in charge of an april fool’s day run they’re having tonight so he won’t be home until late. I guess him being gone gives me time to get some stuff done, but I doubt I will. I figure I will take a shower, get ready for bed. iron tomorrow’s stuff (If I’m lucky!) and go to bed. Or at least make an attempt to. Days like today make me wish he were here to go to bed with me. Sigh.

I think a lot of it is that my emotions are heightened thanks to nature… do I need to say any more or give you a definition of nature!? I sure hope not. Thanks Brittny! We will all set our clocks to you. You’re a sunday start you say? OKAY!

Anyway, I’m just tender an tired and miss home today.

Yesterday.

Tomorrow.

Probably the day after too.

I wish I knew the right thing. There are days when I think, “I don’t even know if I’m going to make it to tomorrow let alone August!” and then there are other days I think, “If we take a nice long vacation this fall I think I can make it until next May, but I’m not sure how much more after that.”

I am like a big rickety teeter totter.  If I’m honest haven’t prayed enough about it. I’ve prayed so quickly the last couple of weeks that I know I’ve missed out on some wonderful time with God. I need to listen more this week.

So anyway, I’m writing now, debating whether I will make this public or private.

Public or private?

My heart says, “Brittny! Make it private!”

I know I should.

I think I’ll make it public because I feel like being a jerk. ha ha. Totally kidding. I’m sorry for the downer post. You know I’m not like this a lot. I am just tired of things and am missing home and am bombarded with a lot of warm memories from home.

See- I’m kiling myself over here! I’m smelling the stupid wrapper this very second. What a dork. Yeah, THAT’S good therapy!

Okay, private.

Public.

Private

Public…

Should I toss a coin?

I hate writing down posts like this and then posting it for you guys who have your own problems, to read… but then again if you really want to know me I guess you should know all of me and know I am feeling homesick. Like the homsick where you heart feels like its constantly inhaling and can’t exhale. Like you can’t breathe for fear that if you do, that if you breathe out you will show yourself and all the tears and worries and everything else and they won’t be able to stop and you will just be left there the way you were before but in worse shape because you will be snoting on yourself and your eyes will be all puffy.  That sort of homesick. I would just prefer to inhale. I don’t know if I’m ready for the exhale part quite yet.

So, I guess I will apologize for being such a jerk for posting this on your guys’ weekend when all is perfect and “yes (E.E. Cummings).”

Thanks for reading if you did! Sorry to be a downer. I think I need to sleep, get through this week and get an answer from God! It sounds so easy when I say it like that.

Until then I’ll just shut the computer down for now and take my goofy little wrapper and reminisce of home

It’s starting to get hot out and I’m dying to wear shorts and tanks and fun and cute girly summer stuff. However, I don’t have that luxury here.

I have to dress “modestly” and wear capris and sleeves and everything that makes sweat run down my back.

Okay, retraction, no matter WHAT you wear here sweat is going to run down your back and your neck and your butt crack and you even get that nasty unattractive upper lip sweat.

Ew.

I miss being able to go to Wal-Mart in shorts and a tank and be considered totally normal. I told Will back in Decemeber when we were home I was going to wear shorts just because I could! I didn’t end up doing it because it was cold, but it would have been nice. I don’t even remember the last time I wore shorts in public. That is really sad!

I have a confession.

When we came home for Christmas I thought all of you stateside ladies were hussies.

Yep.

Sorry.

Being Totally honest here!

I would see women in short skirts and low cut shirts and I would instantly think, “What a tramp!”

How funny!? What am I!? An 88 year old woman?!

I guess so.

It’s almost scary how my thoughts on clothes have been morphed. Okay, not morphed, because as soon as I get home I’m walking around in the fewest articles of clothing possible (ha ha), but it sort of has changed because I’ve gotten used to things here.

I guess 2 weeks ago an American got arrested for wearing a bikini. A bikini! I initially thought, “Oh my gosh!! She was wearing a bikini!?” Like I was totally shocked someone would do such a “terrible and audacious thing,” but then I thought, “Crap. That’s what I have in my drawer too!”

Who AM I?

Honestly though, I don’t think you would want to wear a bikini here even if you were allowed. You would probably be the only one and you would scream, “Hey!! Look at me! I’m a big blonde obnoxious American that can’t respect your culture!” Well, at least that is how they would see it. Although, because I’ve been clothes brainwashed I would think the same thing too. Ha ha.

So, I guess I’m forced to sweat the entire summer in my modest clothes. Thank God I don’t have to wear an abbaya. Now THAT would be hot. Those black things suck in so much heat from the sun they could probably be an energy source.

Bzzt! (that’s an electric buzzing sound for you ladies that wondered)

I think I’ll get off that subject now.

It’s only March.

I will wait until July when it’s 135 and I feel like a slab of teriyaki beef jerky because of the fierce heat.

Yeah.

Prepare you hussy women! There will be lots of complaining of heat in the near future.

What!?

You’re mad because I called you a hussy!?

Ugh. You’re so sensitive!

Okay, okay. You’re right.

I’m sorry.

I was only joking.

I was generalizing.

I know you’re not a hussy.

I love you!

Are we cool now?

Are we?

Please say yes?

Okay! Okay! You caught me!!

I’ll admit it!

I’m jealous!

I want to walk around in summer clothes and I can’t! It’s the truth I tell you!

Sigh…

My tantrum is over for the moment…

Do you want to talk about something else now!?!

Lets!

Today is Friday. It’s so funny how embedded the American work week is in our brain. Wednesday will forever be Friday to me and Saturday, when I come back to work, it;s always Monday. I guess that’s just a weird quark.

I have to go home and clean tonight so I don’t totally freak out and so I won’t be in a bad mood all evening. Something about a disaster of a house puts me in a terrible mood and I tend to project that onto others.

It’s sad really, I know… but true!

Will has to pick up some new people at the airport tonight so I think it will be a boring evening. We’ll probably go to be early so he can get up late and pick them up (they come in at midnight). I don’t really care what we do. I’m just glad to be off.

Have I ever told you guys I want a new job?

Have I?

Have I?

Maybe jus tonce or twice, huh? Ha ha. What a laugh.

Okay, I think I’ve said enough today. As you can probably tell, I’m a little excited that I get to leave this cage and finally have a weekend. What gave it away?

Can’t be sure…

Well thanks for reading! I can’t wait to catch up on your girls’ blogs!

In the meantime you have to do something for me.

I don’t care if your in Michigan or New England or Colorado or Indiana or any other northern place darn it!

You have to wear shorts for me!

you heard me! Don’t be skerrd (scared for you normal people)!

That’s right. I want to see legs EVERYWHERE! I don’t care if it’s 24 with the windchill.

Take one for the team!

Do you think I’m crazy?

I’m not.

I promise.

Well, at least there have been no confirmed reports at this time…

Sending you a BIG WARM SWEATY Kuwaiti Hug!

Your Friend,

The modestly dressed, upper lip sweating, microbooger wearing, smelly fairy friend,

Britter

Because I feel I’m among friends, I will start with a paranoia I’ve been having all afternoon.

Girls, I think my feet smell.

What is worse than that!?

I have been so worried all day long and trying to take big whiffs of air to make sure I’m in the clear.

See, I’m wearing ballet flats without socks. That isn’t typically a problem for me, except it miraculously rained here today (which is very odd for this time of year!) and my shoes got all wet and sloshy and so now I know, I just know I’m steaming off something bad.

I mean lethal bad.

I think my nose is used to the smell. “Please God, let everyone else’s’ nose be immune too.”

Okay, that is my paranoia. I had to get it out because I’ve been worried all afternoon and I can’t call “Ethel” to tell her about it because everyone will then know it’s ME emanating the scent that made their flowers die and fruit spoil.

The Horror! The Horror!

Okay, sorry. I will now move on- that is if you will still read this post after I announced the worst thing ever!

Actually…

Let’s camp out here.

I hate feet. In fact I hate them so much I don’t even like to say that word. I can say it once or twice and not want to throw up, but for the sake of this post I just can’t keep saying, “feet” without getting sick. In fact, I just threw up a little.

Let’s call them fairies.

(Too funny, you’d think I was talking about nether regions or something. Nope! Just feet.)

I am not a fairy person at all. I never have been. Only recently have I gotten a lot more comfortable with the idea of fairies.

This is largely due to the fact that when I had my fairy surgery they were constantly fondled and stroked and rubbed and ever sexual word you can think of and twist to make seem miserable.

That’s right. If I wasn’t okay with fairies before, I had to have a quick come to Jesus meeting last spring because my fairies were on debut for the world to see!

If having my family know about my fairy problems wasn’t bad enough, Will’s sweet mom- totally meaning well- told the whole freaking world about my fairies. I had no choice but to come to grips with them! I think the turning point was the February family get together, full of grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins where I was kindly asked every intimate detail about my fairy surgery and on top of that, “Show us your fairies!” Um, can I die now please? Oh that AND the whole month I was on her Sunday school prayer list. I mean, I so know the sweet woman loves me and genuinely wanted prayer for me, but my view of fairies is comparable with being stripped naked and standing in front of her whole class.

Yeah.

About the same thing.

Anyway, I’m more open to touching Will’s fairies and letting him touch mine. Oh my gosh- how sick did THAT just sound!!? Sorry. Maybe I should have used the real “f” word in this instance instead of fairies to avoid any miscommunications and random google searches when my blog comes up under hot sex or something.

Before, I would totally freak out if someone wanted to touch my fairies or wanted me to touch theirs- not that I get a lot of requests for me to touch people’s fairies, but you know what I’m saying…

I remember one time I was on a mission trip in Romania and at the end of our whole trip we went down to the river and were supposed to wash each other’s fairies, just like Jesus did with his disciples. I totally freaked out.

“Are you there, God? It’s me, Brittny. Hi. Look. I know you did this whole washing fairies thing and all and wanted us to follow your example, but can you make an exception on me? You understand, don’t you?”

Okay, I didn’t really say that, and I totally washed my team’s fairies and it was a really awesome experience, but trust me, I was freaking out inside.

The scary second toes longer than the big toes,

the hairy tops,

the corn infested bottoms… it was hard to “Let Go and Let God” that night, let me tell ya.

Luckily I’ve grown up a little since then. I can handle Will’s clean fairies now and it’s not a big deal. In fact, if he wanted to touch mine I might get grossed out and wince a little at first but then be totally fine soon after. It’s pretty bad when you don’t even want to touch fairies with your best friend!! Sorry Will, nothing personal. Anyway, I’ve made great strides this year and am not ashamed to say I’m becoming okay with fairies!

In fact, I should hug a podiatrist today.

So anyway, I give you that whole stupid drawn out fairy conversation because I’m a little nervous about my wet shoes and the smell they are producing. Sorry girls.Thank goodness the day is soon over. For me and for everyone else!

I don’t know if I am able to talk about anything else now that I just said all that. Am I? Can I seriously justify a real conversation after all that nonsense? I just don’t know!

No… I think the answer is no on this one. You can send the hallelujah chorus in right…

About…

NOW!

You know I love you, that’s why it hurts to write this letter.

Remember all the fun we had my first couple of years of college? Y’know before my boyfriend (who later became my husband) made me get a job- taking me away from you and our special hour together? Of course you remember. You were as devastated. I had to hang up on you because I couldn’t talk through all your sobbing. I’m sorry I had to cut the cord that day. The truth is, I think Will felt threatened by the connection we shared. I know, you probably get that a lot, but this time it’s real.

Who could forget our discussions over weight loss, Brad and Jen (pre-split, of course!), and how great Texas beef really is? Oh the laughs we shared, and the tears we cried. Every weekday at 4:00 was such a special time!

And now… now there’s a chance that we might reunite! I know you were just as thrilled as I was. I’m sure the same things that were going through my head were going through yours when you learned I would be in Kuwait.

“Has she changed since we last met?”

“I hope she remembers me.”

“I hope this pink shirt doesn’t make me look fat.”

Don’t worry, Oprah, I remembered you- oh, and you look great in that shirt! Stop saying you look fat!”

Unfortunately, as excited as you’ve been to meet me, I’m afraid I’m going to have to cancel.

I know, I know, you rearranged your “busy schedule” to come all the way over to the middle of nowhere, but the truth is, Op, I’m a busy lady in high demand. These websites I visit just can’t wait and I am not going to let them down, darn it. Not even for Oprah Winfrey.

So, I knew this news would be upsetting, and I knew you would have your people call my people to try to arrange a get together. How many more ways can I say, “I’m Busy!” without hurting your feelings!? Gah. Just let it go. You’re really beginning to look desperate.

Okay, I see you are going to pester me about meeting you, so here’s what I decided to do. Here is a list of the reasons I can not meet with you today. I don’t think I can make things any clearer than this!!

10. I wore entirely too much blush today. The lighting in my bathroom isn’t the greatest. I thought I needed a little more because apparently it just didn’t seem like 50 swipes was enough. I reapplied the pink horror one last time only to shock myself in the office bathroom this morning.

I look like a cross between Tammie Faye and a Rose Parade float. I can’t see you like this.

9. If the blush encompassing my entire face wasn’t enough, I have yet another unwanted entity sitting on my face, unrelated to makeup. That’s right, Oprah, I have a huge zit on the left side of my chin.  Talk about embarrassing. I’m greeting people before I even get to them. My chin shows up 20 feet before the rest of my does! I thought there was a chance it would clear up so I could meet you, but that just isn’t the case. In fact, I even bought some “Super Strength Will suck the life out of your zit in 3 minutes or your money back” stuff hoping it would help. Sadly, it hasn’t, and I look the exact same way I did yesterday. Only with more blush and a zit the size of a large ferret dancing around my chin with each word I speak.

8. There is a very strange smell emanating from one of the cubicles in my office. I am very paranoid it is mine. It smells like someone put a fresh bag of kettle corn inside a squishy and explosive baby diaper and let it marinate for 2.5 hours. I keep sniffing, trying to inconspicuously catch where the pungency is coming from, but I can’t be certain. I hope it’s not my cubicle.

7. I am having a fat day. I know you can relate to this. I mean, I’ve watched your fluctuate in the 80s and early 90s to finally blossom into one fit chick. Anyway- you know what’ I’m saying. My shirt is getting tucked into my little stomach roll, so unattractive. I can’t have you see me like this.

I am having a zitty, smelly, blushy, fat day. I could stop in my countdown, walk away, and you would totally understand, but here is more, so much more.

6. There are a whole bunch of new eastern hires standing around dour office. They have been standing around and trading turns on the couch for 4 hours. It’s very awkward because They are staring at my screen and it’s freaking me out. On top of that, I stick out in the office because I look like a typical American and so they keep looking at me and I’m getting creeped. Oprah, I don’t want to add to the awkwardness. If you came in here a riot would ensue. I know these young bucks are huge fans of your successful made for TV movies, and I know they know who you are and appreciate you just like the next guy. However, I am certain things would get out of hand and you would feel overwhelmed. I know you’re not used to autographs and pictures and I wouldn’t want to scare you.

5. I walked into the bathroom earlier today (after I saw my scary blush) and saw I had a little microbooger on the tip of my nose. How much more embarrassing can my life get!!? Too much blush, a huge zit, a FAT DAY, AND a micro-booger!!!? These things are supposed to happen one at a time! Oh, Oprah, you’re not familiar with this term?

Sorry, let me catch you up to speed. A micro booger is a teeny tiny little hanging booger just out the cavity of your nose. It’s not terribly noticeable at first site, but trust me, people see you with it.

Therefore from the time I went to the restroom this morning and saw “Big Blush” to the time I saw “microbooger” I have been walking around with crap coming out of my nose none the wiser. Living my life and talking to people and everyone wants to throw up their tuna salad and I’m smiling and having no clue why everyone is rubbing their nose and giving me strange looks. JUST TELL ME! Don’t let me walk around looking even MORE stupid! Ugh. Oprah, do you feel my pain!?

4.I have a VERY, I mean VERY stressful and demanding job, Oprah. Even more high profile than yours. I know it’s hard to believe, but it’s true. Today I was swamped with a load feedback, and then I was weighed down with meetings at AOL.com, and to top it off I am so stressed about finding new sandals for my Saturday deadline. Ugh! Crucial stuff Oprah! As you can see I don’t just leave work at the door when I come home. I bring these things home. I carry the weight of my shoulders, but someone has to do it. You understand, don’t you? I guess not. I mean, you only have your own production company and TV show. That’s not all that hectic.

3. I’m in training. That’s right. I’m working out tonight and can’t talk to anyone. It’s sort of the age old rule of no sex before a game because the guy needs to be focused. That’s the same with me except I’m all about the first thing and not all about having meaningful conversations today. That means Will wins and you lose. Sorry Oprah, I just can’t waste my sentences. I need to keep to myself and remained focused on the challenge before me.

2. As of 3:00 today I am taking a vow of silence- until 6:00, that is.  The only window I MIGHT have had to meet you would have been between 3 and 6, and I am not speaking then so we can’t meet. It would be me staring at you and you talking away all about A Million Little Pieces and everything in between. I just wouldn’t be much company.

1. Will wouldn’t let me.

Thanks for understanding my situation. I’m just too busy for you and can’t really squeeze you in right now.

I know I’ll see you again sometime. Until then, we’ll always have your show…

Your Friend,

Brittny

***If you haven’t already guessed, the Oprah thing appeared to be a bad rumor. Sigh…

It’s a random Sunday afternoon and I have absolutely nothing to say…

HOWEVER-

You may notice I’m posting much earlier than I have the past few weeks.

Do you want to know why?

“yes! Yes! Oh my gosh yes! I sat up all night praying you would ask me this!” roars the crowd. (ha)

Because yesterday I got my work computer connected to the internet!

That’s right girls- I’m back.

Anyway, to celebrate I had to post something.

Anything!!

So you know what I decided to do?

Follow suit and post one of the 36 million surveys going around.

PLUS I’m going to fill like 3 of them out so by the time I finish you’ll know everything about my entire life and we’ll be like spit sisters or something really important afterwards.

Yeah, woo.

I know you’re so excited to read all the interesting facts about me (ha). So just skim through and pretend to read a couple and I’ll call you my friend. I’ll even through in some smart and stupid comments for liking me enough to read this whole stupid concoction of the never ending mindless survey to top all surveys that will have you crying for me to never ever fill out a survey again.

Here it goes…

Ooo! I’ll even post it like I’m supposed to:

Yet Another Mindless Survey! (thanks to Jenny, Christina, Sarah, Jessica, Betsy, and every other one of my nest friends that has done this besides me!)

JUST TWO THINGS

Hmmm, if you didn’t already guess, this survey deals with two things about me! In this survey I will provide you lucky readers with just two fun and interesting facts about my life. OH MY GOSH! This is so great.

Two Names You Go By
1. Brittny (gasp! Oh my gosh! What a huge shock)
2. Britter (mostly just by family)

Two Parts of Your Heritage
1. British
2. Only God knows… seriously… only He does! My mom was adopted.

Two Things That Scare You
1. Tornadoes
2. Singing in front of people, though that might be one thing that scares YOU!

Two of Your Everyday Essentials
1. Cell Phone
2. Lip Gloss

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now
1. An Annoyed Face (but in a “nice way…” honest!)
2. Lip Gloss

Two of Your Favorite Bands or Musical Artists (at the moment, like this very second and not of all time)
1. Damien Rice
2. Imogen Heap

Two Things You Want in a Relationship (other than Real Love)
1. Okay, in my all-encompassing book, real love includes all the “real answers” like trust and understanding and all that stuff.

Therefore, since all I want in a relationship is “real love” which includes all the foundational stuff, I also want someone to make me breakfast in the morning. A super yummy and satisfying breakfast.

(Will doesn’t do that but we have that “real love” so we still cool)
2. Never ending laughter… well, except during the serious parts.

Two Truths
1. I want a freaking new job.
2. When I was 4 I got hot and decided that putting 2 eggs down my pants would cool me off. What a weirdo. Maybe I missed my calling as a stripper at IHOP…

Two Physical Things that Appeal to You About the Opposite Sex
1. Smile. I love hillbilly men with blacked out teeth. Hee hee. Lie.
2. Broad, strong chest, full of hair that I get to brush and braid. Another lie.

Two of Your Favorite Hobbies
1. Hmmm, I bet you can guess what number one is!!!
2. Cooking

Two Things You Want Really Badly
1. A freaking new job.
2. To have a wealth of money and retire…wait…that contradicts the first. Crap!

I’ll just say a doggie like Christina did. Nevermind the first part.

Two Places You Want to go on Vacation
1. To buy a train ticket and go across Europe
2. The awesome sandy beaches of Kuwait. I hear it’s beautiful there. EVERYONE should want to vacation there. Tell all your friends! I hear there is an awesome girl that ROCKS as a tour guide.

Two Ways That You Are Stereotyped
1. A Typical American. I’m sure people whisper that in Arabic to each other every time I try to do anything here.
2. An Okie

Two Things You Are Thinking About Now
1. A Gigantic piece of The Cheesecake Factory’s chocolate chip cookie dough cheesecake. Yep. I really am. Isn’t it sick that I think about food? It’s borderline fantasizing.
2. Whether to stay in Kuwait or go home.

Two Stores You Shop At
1. The Limited. My all-time favorite store
2. Drugstore.com. Oh my gosh. Anything we can’t get in Kuwait we can get on this site. Boxes from there come in daily for people working here.

Two favorite web sites
1. Again, I bet you can get this one on your own.
2. Christina’s shoebox because she has a whole links page full of my nestie friends so they are just a click away for me!

Two cars you owned
1. 1994 Chevy Camaro. I got it when I was 16. It was the only car I’ve ever had. I had to sell it before we moved over.
2. None… well… unless you add all the ones Will has had. We don’t have time to go over all that. This is the TWO things survey afterall!

Two pets you have
1. Will
2. None, but one time my sister had a pet piece of broccoli name Marker for 4 months. How bizarre is that!? She cried when my mom accidentally threw it away (she didn’t know it was a pet). I laughed.

Two Favorite Sports (To Watch)
1. OU Football. Yeah, I know you’re shocked.
2. OU Basketball. Again, the look of amazement.

Wow! Wasn’t that fun!!! Still want to learn more!? READ ON!

This is the “Ask a Million Random Questions” Survey.

In this survey I will answer a million random questions.

Name: Brittny Lynne
Nickname: Britt, Britter
Birthday: Is coming soon!

Have You Ever…

Fallen for your bestfriend? Sort of kind of.
Kissed someone who was just your friend? Yes.
Been rejected? No
Been in love? Nope. Never. (ha ha. Just kidding)
Used someone? Yeah. I moved around a ton when I was younger. You have to find that one practical friend to inform you of who to avoid. You know, like the kid that eats his own boogers. Sorry to offend. If you ate your snot when you were a kid, we can still be friends. I’ve grown up and am WAY more mature and open to all types of people now, booger eaters and all.
Cheated on someone? No
Been cheated on? No
Done something you regret? Yes. I’m a Christian for crying out loud. When I sin I hate making God sad.

Do you ...

Color your hair? Yep. Highlights. You’ll hear all about that later this week.
Have tattoos? No
If so how many? NA
Have any piercings? Yes. 
If so how many? Too many to count. Ha ha, just kidding. Just my ears.
Like thunderstorms? If they do not include hail the size of a small child and tornadoes, then I’m okay with them.
Any obsessions? Nope. Not one. I’m sure you guys can’t think of any for me either…

Right now..

Current clothes: Lavender ¾ sleeved boatneck top with black pants, and pretty pink pearls
Current mood: Ready to change jobs.
Current hair: Down and straight.
Current music: None. I can’t wait to get home and listen to my iPod.
Current annoyance: Ha, I bet you can guess… it has to do with work…
Current perfume/cologne: Embrace Dreams by Mary Kay (the pink spray). It smells so pretty.
Current thing you should be doing: Staring at the wall. That was pretty much my assigned job for the day.
Current crush: Orlando Bloom. Oh, and Willy <3

What is your favorite…

Drink: Water… I guess… it’s all I drink. Not so much my favorite, but since I consume enough to satisfy a village, water it is!
Color: pink and yellow
Candy: Just about everything. I have few prejudices.
Tv Show: King of Queens and Frasier. See, we’re not privileged enough to watch all the popular shows on TV back home like Greys Anatomy, so we live in our own little world of box sets. Ohhhh yeaaaah.
Movie: You don’t have time and neither do I. It takes me forever to think of one of my favorites.
Place: Home.
Person to talk to: Willy!

Do your prefer..

McDonalds or Burger King? McDonalds. Their flimsy fries are the freaking best!
Marry the Perfect Lover or the perfect friend? Pffht. Silly question! I can’t marry myself! Ha Ha. TOTALLY kidding. Don’t flame me for my stupid answer.
Root Beer or Dr Pepper? The truth is probably root beer, but I am morally obligated to say Dr. Pepper since I’m from the south.
Sunshine or Rain? Rain
Spring or Fall? Fall
Winter or Summer? Winter- I live in hell’s kitchen for crying out loud. You spend a summer in 135 degree weather and you’ll say winter too.
Vanilla or Chocolate? There is no way you can ask me to choose.
Lights on or Off? What the crap? Who is making these things up? What a random question. Well, if you care… on.

Are you…

Understanding? Yes.
Open Minded? Aw, sure.
Bad Tempered? Sort of kind of. Will would say yes. I would say, “Mmmm, NAH.”
Happy? Yes. I’m a Happy Girl.
Attractive? Attractive? Try Freaking Dead Sexy Hott! Ha Ha, okay, again, lying. I think I’m just a normal lookin’ girly girl.
Bored Easily? Not really.
Sad? When I have a reason
Unique? Yah.

UGH. I’m BOOORRRREED. Ha ha. Just kidding. That was just because of the bored easily question I just answered.
Random (as if this entire survey isn’t already “random” enough…)

What do you like in a Spouse? I like a guy that is OBSESSED, that’s right, freaking OBSESSED with OU sports. Yep. That was my dream my whole entire life. “Mom, when I grow up I want to marry an obsessive sports fan. I want him to love sports more than food and ALMOST as much as me.” SIgh. I’m such a lucky girl. (hee hee)

How would you describe yourself? Homosapien.
Do you have any Pets? Hey! What the crap!? You can’t double ask! I already answered this question!
Have any siblings? Yes. A 16 year old sister that acts like she’s in college.
What do you want to be when you grow up? I want to do PR for a company, do some sort of political or image consulting, or something where I get to interact with people as a large portion of my job. Any ideas ladies!? What the crap can I do with my life?! HELP ME! Hmm. After that stunt, maybe be a professional whiner?
What is your best physical trait? My huge arse. Ha Ha, now, we BOTH know that’s a lie. My smile. :-D
What is the best thing about your personality? I am very loyal.
What words do you overuse? I bet you guys could answer this better than I do since you have to hear me yammer all the cotton-picking time. I say Like ALL the time. It’s terrible.
Whats the most annoying thing about you? I worry about everything.

End this survey with a quote: “Oh my gosh. This is the longest survey ever. Why in the world am I doing this to myself?”

~ Brittny

SURVEY #3 Ooooh! We’re almost done! This is a random life survey.

In this survey I will answer random questions about my life.

Never in my life: Have I been skiing.

When I was five: I had this awesome blue metallic wig and I would wear it and dance and sing and I always begged my mom to tape me being a rock singer so she could send it to Star Search and I could be like Debbie Gibson. Totally rad.

High School is: a wonderful memory. I went to a high school full of history and tradition. I still remember singing the school song after every single school event, rubbing Hewey’s nose on game day, and trips to the local drive-in for cherry vanilla dr. peppers after we kicked butt in football. It was a blast.

There’s this girl: that I call the Ring Leader because she runs a circus of sorts (well, if you count a whole bunch of idiot workers wandering around as a circus, that is) and I swear she carries one of those long whips and violently asks us to move around like we’re dancing bears. I secretly hope I get promoted to the ballerina.

Last night: I went to bed before Will, and when he came in he was a meanie and told me it was time for me to get up and that I had overslept. I jumped out of bed all groggy and freaking out because I was running late. Turns out I had only been asleep for like an hour. What a punk.

When I turn my head right, I see: My Cubicle Buddy. Such fun. Not really.

A better name for me would be: ?!? What kind of question is this!? You’re messing me up! I’ve been Brittny for 22 years, don’t confuse me.

I have a hard time understanding: Why a simple “drug deal” can get you anything you want at my company.

You know I like you if: I make an effort to make you feel special.

My ideal breakfast is: Hey! I just mentioned this. You all need to jot this down so you can make me breakfast. I don’t need all of this at once, so you can stretch the menu into a few days or something: blueberry pancakes, French toast with an assortment of syrup, scrambled eggs with cheese, biscuits and gravy, blueberry cake doughnuts… I could go on, but I’m making myself crave foods I can’t exactly have on south beach.

If you spend the night at my house: You will find out I wear a dorky night guard to help with my TMJ. Opps, now I told everyone my geeky secret. Crap.

I always make it a point to: Tell Willy I think he’s a gosh darn swell guy.

I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: Again- what is going through the minds of the people writing this stuff!?

Who are you!?

ABC Survey

This is the final series of surveys, thank goodness. This survey requires an answer related to every letter in the alphabet.

In this survey I will provide an answer related to every letter in the alphabet.

( are you annoyed with my sarcasm yet?

A is for age
22
B is for booze of choice
Just call me Sandra Dee (y’know- from Grease). I don’t drink.
C is for career
In limbo. I’m currently an admin. assistant in the marketing department. I don’t so much call that a career. It’s just a job.
D is for your Dad’s name
Charles, but he goes by “Chuck”
E is for essential items to bring to a party
A smile!
F is for favorite song at the moment
Ridin’ Dirrrty by Chamillionaire (radio edit, of course) How trashy am I!?
G is for favorite game
Football
H is for hometown

L-Town
I is for instruments you play
I used to play the cello and I miss it lots
J is for jam or jelly you like
Everything.
K is for kids
K is for “Kuit” talking about kids to me!!! Have you talked to my mom!? Is she pressuring you to ask me about kids?! Gah!
L is for living arrangements
With my Will in an apartment in Kuwait

M is for Mom’s name
Mom, or Linda, but I like Mom better.
N is for name of your crush

I already answered this like 42 questions ago. I don’t think it’s changed.
O is for overnight hospital stays
0
P is for phobias
Again, we answered this question during the “2 Things” survey.
Q is for quotes you like
Sooner born and Sooner bred and when I die I’ll be Sooner dead.
R is for relationship that lasted the longest
Will wins! 
S is for sexual preference
I like boys- adult ones. Maybe I’ll clarify and just say Will on this one.
T is for tasty desserts
Everything. You should know me well enough by now to know I’m not picky when it comes to sweets.
U is for underwear
I really think you people who write these are hilarious. Yes. I have one pair that I rotate throughout the week. (ha ha)

V is for vegetables you love
V is for this is getting Very tiring!
W is for weekend plans
Go out for my mom’s birthday and then go out for our 2nd anniversary. Then knock over a few banks and make out in the back of my car.
X is for x-rays you’ve had
Teeth, feet
Y is for year you graduated from high school
2001
Z is for zodiac sign
Aries. Are we done yet?

Oh my gosh. I finished. I’m sorry I put myself through that. It was lots of fun at first… but then it got long. Thanks for skimming my blog today. You are all liars if you said you read the whole thing so don’t even pull that crap on me.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend! <3

Not much going on today.

That’s never a good way to begin a post because people know you’re about to ramble about nothing right from the get go.

Oh well, at least I’m being honest.

My sweet “Ethel” bought me the SB pull-away calendar for no reason today. How sweet was that!? She might be the nicest person I’ve ever met.

The day before she spent $6 and brought me lunch from the Chinese place on base because I was going to work through the lunch hour.

This weekend she invited me over to her house for homemade pancakes, “Just because I think you’re great, Britt!” What a freaking nicey!

Her calendar put a smile on my face.

Today’s page is a recipe for edamame salad.  Hmmm, Will won’t even try any food with more than 3 syllables, but I would be open to it.

I think the real reason is that she’s trying to woo me because I’ve been cheating on her for lunch and going with my dad. I promised to be a faithful friend and have lunch with her everyday next week and on top of that eat “really bad” one day.

Now that, girls, is true friendship (in some sick way I guess)- risking your diet to eat greasy processed foods that make your butt congeal into a squishy jiggly fat before they even reach your mouth. Nothing screams “I like you as a friend!“ more than eating straight crap. Mmmm. I can’t wait for that day (sarcasm). Yeah. I think that wins the most devoted friend award. Ha ha, just kidding.

I have to be totally honest, I have a complex about this sort of warm fuzzy thing. Please don’t think I need help or make fun of me, but I seriously do!

I feel bad when people do such thoughtful things for me! Yes, I have serious issues. I think there’s even a Seinfeld or Curb Your Enthusiasm (or some similar show, I can’t remember) episode totally devoted to this subject.

I can relate!

I feel all warm and gushy and then right after I feel those two emotions I feel totally bad because I am such a sloppy loser friend! I go about my business, walking through life just being my sloppy loser friend self and then BAM! all of a sudden I get a random act of kindness.

I start to breathe rapidly and my palms get all sweaty. Blood drains from my head and I turn a sexy shade of ash. The room starts spinning and I let out a groany, “Oh noooo..” Then I feel a little faint.

Why!? Why is that!?

I

don’t

know.!!!!!!

Because honestly, I love my friends’ thoughtfulness! I really do! I feel like the most important person ever. So why do I feel a little guilty!?

I guess I feel like IIII should be the one giving the gift. I have a great network of friends and sooo do not let them know how great they are as often as I should.

“Quit being such a great friend!” I wanted to tell “Ethel” today.

I totally ditched her on her birthday (see last Wednesday’s post) when all this “moving and Will’s dad stuff” went down, and she totally responds in love. She’s like my freaking awesome, sweet, golden retriever that gets back up and licks my face and rolls over after I am like, “No doggie! Screw your birthday!”

Now, I had a good reason for missing her special day, but gosh, I still felt bad.

I so need to make Ethel feel as special as she makes me. She is my only “real friend” over here and dang it I need to make it known, take the bull by the horns and mark my territory! Ha ha, yes, that’s right, I will pee on “Ethel.”

I am a serious dork.

First I admit I have issues with random act of kindness from my friends, and then I tell you all I’m going to pee on poor “Ethel“… wow… at what point did this post start to take a plunging nosedive???

No one can be sure…

Another example is inspiring Kelli. She totally from the goodness of her heart has been checking on me to make sure all is well in Kuwaitville and then asked me if she could send me something. I told her I felt like this maniacal mad woman, reaching and grabbing and having a huge case of the “gimmeeees.”

She must have thought, “woah. Calm down lady. You seriously have acceptance issues. I just wanted to send you my latest and greatest and most awesome craft ever! Now I have to reconsider because, well… you’re a strange one...” (just kidding, Kelli, thanks for being so great)

Maybe I am, though! Feeling bad when you’re supposed to feel good is not normal under any circumstance! I think the root of it comes down to the fact that I feel my friends are way better friends to me than I am to then (hopefully they would argue that and say I’m a good friend, though!), and I feel that if anyone should be giving a freaking random sweet thoughtful gift it should be me!

Me, me me!

And so then I feel bad when they beat me to the punch line because I truly want to appreciate them the way they make me feel appreciated. My friends- including all of you FREAKING AMAZING (that’s right, I said freaking- you know I mean business when Is ay that) women on the nest- have made me feel so good, especially in my time of need.

I know that is what friends are for, but as I’ve gotten older I have truly come to really and genuinely appreciate the whole concept of friendship. I mean, I have all my life, but it is right now, at this point in my life, I really thank God for my friends and pray I can be the kind of friend Jonathan was to David before David became king. That has been my prayer over the last year and I know that when God has made me into a Jonathan, he will give me a David, and that will be the most awesome thing ever. Plus, if I’m really lucky, maybe my “David’s” husband will get along with Will which is even a bigger bonus!

Gosh, who knew a freaking 5 buck SB calendar could bring such restlessness!

Anyway, that is another strange facet of me that will make you scratch your head and think, “Who IS this girl!?” I guess that’s okay because sometimes I even surprise myself.

So, before all my awesome bloggy friends I hereby say I am going to beat my awesome friends to the punch and truly take time to tell them how much they mean to me. I only wish it wouldn’t take some goofy calendar to get me motivated.

Thanks for listening to me ramble, ramble, ramble.

I promise we will all catch up soon. Whether it is during my weekend or (prayerfully!!) when I get my system back up at work.

Have a wonderful day and be a nicey to all your friends.

I will simply say today: be warned. The beginning isn’t bad… but it gets worse.

With that said I will start.

I flushed a wash cloth down the toliet.

Isn’t it amazing how many of my posts deal with crap? If I look through the archives I can think of at least 3 with toliets as a main topic- and that’s 3 too many!

My junior high best friend’s parents teased that I would have to start going to the bathroom outside after a plug up incident at their house. Oh if they only knew all the major feats I had yet to accomplish in my high school and college career… they would be so proud.

Anyway, I flushed a wash cloth.

I am officially an idiot. I just finished my work out and headed to the bathroom. Because I have the elliptical in the privacy of my own home I can do whatever the heck I want! If I want to exercise in MC Hammer pants and a lime green sports bra with a purple sweatband on my head I can freaking do it! Since I have hyperhydrosis (I say that but I don’t know for sure. I sweat like a man that’s all I know. To me that’s too much. Thank God for Certain Dri) I have to constantly towel myself so that my eyes don’t burn from all the salt infused sweat I rain. I keep my little cloth tucked in the back of my shorts- like in the waistband by the small of my back. Okay, enough of all the stupid details.

I finished working out (as I already said) and went straight to the bathroom. As I flushed I noticed my toilet paper looked a little fluffy. Then it hit me. I flushed my freaking wash cloth!!

And you know what!?!?!

IT WENT DOWN!!

Will has been freaking out about it. Apparently just because it went down doesn’t mean we’re in the clear- at all. There’s a good chance it will get lodged in there, and with my luck I will have eaten a load of mexican food and overdosed on Fibercon only to flush after birthing a moose and have my toliet violently puke all over the floor in protest to the whole wash cloth thing.

Ew.

Yep. That is sooo my luck.

Next week you’ll see a post about this. I pray not, but probably.

As I flushed, and as Will was freaking out as I yelled what I had done, I had flashbacks to my early grade school years. I had the flu and was really sick and shaky and had the runs so bad it was probably unnatural.

Anyway… PAUSE- am I REALLY talking about this to you guys!? Do you REALLY care!? Of course not! Why then am I sharing this horrifying information with a large group of pretty and sophisticated ladies!? AGH. I feel so embarassed. I’m debating whether I should delete this… I know I should… but I won’t. I’m in too deep to my story.

Okay, anyway, I was changing the toliet paper roll when all of a sudden I dropped the plastic holder thing the toliet paper rests on in the toliet! As a 7 year old I had no clue what to do- I just knew I wasn’t going to fish that thing out!

So, I call my dad.

That’s what dad’s do right?

Well because I was a young and dumb (ha, now I’m old and still dumb. so sad...) I thought it was best not to verbalize what I had just done and instead lift a cheek so that poor old dad could see my damage.

“Ew britt, flush,” he said so tenderly and sympathetically (ha!).

I had to say, I was shocked to hear him tell me to flush, but he was dad and he knew everything and if it was going to flush and he wasn’t concerned, then by golly, neither was I!!

I finished up and flushed and then mentioned that the roller went down just fine. he looked at me with shock and asked what I was talking about. Apparently he just thought I wanted to share my love with him by showing him the art I created on the toliet bowl. He falied to notice the freaking black toliet paper holder floating right in the middle!!

Dad- why in the world would you think I would just want to show you that! Yeah, I was 7, but please! I have a little more couth than that- even at 7!
The toliet was surprisingly fine that day but then the next day it turned into a huge mess. Water went everywhere and warped some of the wood in the next room. It was just a little lake in our house. All from a little 7 -year-old.

huh. 

We had to have a German plumber come and fix it. that’s all I remember.

anyway, that was my flashback. I could just see us having some huge leak and water splurting everywhere and having to call a plumber to come here on a holiday weekend (it’s a Kuwaiti holiday this weekend- sidenote, it is PANDEMONIUM here, but maybe I’ll talk about that later). We would be told Ensha Allah (not sure of the spelling, sorry!), which means “If it’s God’s will.” So- Ensha Allah I will be there tomorrow, but it could also be 2 months. It’s sort of a scary term because you never really know when things are going to get done.

So, now we play the toliet waiting game. Praying that little washcloth will join the ranks of all the other great “non flushable” items that have gone on before it.

“Swim little wash cloth! Swim!”

So there you go. Another stupid and embarrassing story I am sharing with you guys even though I shouldn’t. Oh well. I guess I’m brave… or just weird. One of the two!

I can’t believe I’m about to share the extremely deep personal corners of my life with you all.

Prepared to be terrified.

I’ve got the yucks. Bad. I’m sure I won’t have to go into detail the symptoms, I’m sure you get it. Two nights ago my stomach started hurting terribly bad. I spent half the evening between the couch and the bathroom. I had a headache and my body ached. No fun. Yesterday I came prepared, tylenol and pepto in hand. I was going to beat this crap (heehee). I was miserable all day. I didn’t think i was going to make it through the day.

Okay, confession time. I hate, hate, absolutely loathe doing anything other than peeing in public bathrooms, and even then I line the seat with toliet paper 50 million times or squat. I don’t know why I have such a huge complex, but I refuse to “use use” the bathroom in public restrooms. I could be turing blue and have internal posioning, twitching my left leg and seeing stars, and I still wouldn’t go. I kept praying I would be okay all day. Everytime my stomach rumbled or gurgled or made this strange feeling that I can’t even explain I just drank more pepto. Yeah, I’m sure that was real great for me too.

Well yesterday I had my mom pick me up a few minutes early. i thought I was going to die. The way home couldn’t get easier, but of course something bad would happen when I was holding my breath, praying I wouldn’t lose it in the car: we get lost.

Not only do we get lost, but we get lost in a residential with no paved roads because my mom, “Knew a shortcut.”

Thanks.

So the whole time I kept praying that I would faint and not go all over myself because at least fainting is way more socially acceptable. “Please just let me faint. PLEASE, I just want to freaking faint!” I really did say that. What a weirdo.

So we finally get home and I was sick sick. I was miserable. My sweet Will was able to come home early last night so he was there when we got home. I always give him a huge hug and welcome when I first see him, and I was totally thrilled that he had come home early, but all I could say was, “yay! You’re home early! I’m sick!” and then ran to the bathroom.

Last night I took some Aleve (thank God for Aleve, the most amazing fever reducer, headache helper, and body ache killer), but still felt sick in my stomach. Will was eating an ice cream bar when the phone rang. He went to get it and I thought, “Maybe that would make me feel better.” Yeah, because ice cream is the best antibiotic, right? So, I took a bite (he had told me earlier, “Please don’t eat after me because I don’t want to get sick.” opps.) Anyway, I didn’t think I was contagious sick, I thought it was more of a Brittny internal thing- does that make sense?

We go to bed and at midnight Will totally scares me. He throws off the covers and runs to the bathroom. I think to myself, “Crap. He is going to be so mad at me.” He was up for over an hour with the yucks too. I was convinced I had made him sick, and so was he. This morning he was a little mad at me. I seriously did not mean to make him sick, like I said, I didn’t think i was contagious!

Anyway, I KNEW I was sick today because you’llnever in a million years guess what I did… yes… I went in a public bathroom.I was that desparate. Not once… Not twice… Three times. Wow. That is a huge and amazing feat for me. I need a T-Shirt that says, “I did my duty in an army bathroom.” I knew right then I was really sick because there was no other way I would let myself do that. That is the worst thing to do ever for me (I know, I’m weird). You are basically going to the bathroom in front of everyone in the same room. Okay, so they don’t see you, but they are still there to share the intimate moment with you. how awkward. I so wish I could tell you my bathroom story it is pretty funny, but I think I’m sharing enough right now and I would be even more embarrassed to tell you al that, so I’ll just skip that moment.

Today I actually had a lunch date! Yay! I went to lunch with the girl that I had met from my newcomers briefing. I had such a good time and I laughed the entire hour. It takes me a while to fully and totally open up to people I’ve just met, but for some reason I just let loose. Probably because it’s been so very long since I’ve had an Friend-HEI. I probably scared her with my friendliness. Anyway, I told her about my problem and she totally shocked me with a , “ME TOO!! I’ve had it for 2 weeks!!” 2 weeks!? I can’t have this junk for that long. I would have withered up and died by then. Apparently it is a form of dehydration. We just need to be drinking lots more water than we are now-a whole lot more!  I drink my 8 a day, but I know I need more, especially being in the desert. So, that is the cure. She said she had been drinking more water since yesterday and she still had it, so it was probably going to take another day or two for everything to clear out, especially since the yucks make you lose lots of water too. So, I’m pretty sure that is what I have too. That so sucks. That means I have to endure this for a few more days! I am going home and am going to drink 8 bottles of water. water is free here, so there is no reason why I shouldn’t be drinking more- except that I already pee once an hour as it is and only drink about 3 bottles at work.

I can’t wait to tell Will that is what he probably has too. He never ever drinks water, and I’m sure his body is not fully adjusted to the middle of nowhere desert camp yet. He drinks cokes all day, so I’m hoping that is what he has going on too. After I was in tears from talking about our recent public “bathroom and the yucks” experiences, I made her go to the PX with me to get some Imodium. I’m also not good at that. I know, that’s weird. I would nomally have to buy like 3 things along with the Imodium so I wouldn’t feel like people are staring at me thinking, “Look at that girl, she’s running all over the place and had to get some Immodium. heh. Sucks to be her!“, but I was so desperate that I just went and got it and hid it as we stood in line laughing about our preventable ailment. She is new too, so like me, so it was so nice to laugh with someone that literally was going through the same thing I was and having to deal with coworkers that just kept looking ta you weird everytime you get up to leave the room.

For example, I have to share the office with another dept apart from mine. Everytime I got up to use the bathroom today (I “went went” 3 times, but I have to go so much after drinking a bottle of water or two also) this lady kept asking me, “where are you going?” It wasn’t rude question the way she asked it, but it got annoying fast because first she is not in my department, and second it really isn’t a lot of her business. The last time she asked me I was so tempted to say, “Look here lady, I have fountain-like, thundering, explosive diarreha from not drinking enough water, and now I’m going to go unload myself on an innocent, unsuspecting toliet if you don’t mind. DO you want to come!!??” I really came close to saying that. I think she would have died from shock in her chair.

I haven’t fully unleashed my true self in the office yet I guess.

I can only pray things get better. I got a 1.5 liter of water to drink the rest of the day, I better be dried up like the Kuwait Desert by tomorrow dang it.

Okay, so now not only am I terribly shocked and embarrased that I decided to share that with you, but I’m sure you are all have this weird unsettled feeling now that you made it through my sick, disgusting blog.

I’m a weirdo, what can I say.

I might try and get some pictures up of our Qatar trip, they turned out great! We’ll see though.

Have a great day!

And DRINK LOTS OF WATER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DRINK LOTS OF WATER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DRINK LOTS OF WATER!

Short post today. My eyes are starting to droop, and I can see my self any minuted hitting the keyboard comatose and leaving you all nothing but asldfjklsdjflksdjflksajdflkajsdklfj until I wake up at 3:30 tomorrow to get ready for the day.

This schedule is the worst.

I can’t write long, and my post will be pretty boring today, but I feel like a stranger and will probably continue to feel that way for the next week and a half or so. Things at work are just....

Well…

I guess I don’t know yet.

Today I almost flatlined.

My boss was gone so I literally (I’m not making this up) sat on an uncomfotable chair at this lady’s desk for 11 hours. No lie. 11 hours and then had an hour lunch. I got up 3 times to make copies for her. In the 11 hour span I read 3 newspapers which took all of an hour.

It was mindnumbing.

The daily work day is 10 hours and a lunch. We car share, so I am at the mercy of those who take me. The lady that did worked 11 hours today, which added to the long and boring day.

There is lots in the middle. It wasn’t a bad day or anything, but I don’t have a computer, a desk, and my boss doesn’t even have his own computer or desk. They have him at a table. I just didn’t really have a place today.

The day was long, and like I said I was at the mercy of someone else to get me home. I am a vERY time-oriented person, so I felt like today was a waste, and then having to wait an extra hour got me all worked up.

I was so ready to go home, I was literally bored to tears. My eyes watered as I was sitting in the car thinking how much I wanted to go home and how much further we still had to go.

Like I said, lots in the middle, but you probably get the big drift. As soon as I walked in the door I saw Will. I feel right into his arms and lost it. I don’t really know why. I guess for some reason I felt overwhelmed on my first full day, and having to stare at a wall for 12 hours. I don’t really know what it was. I hate that he isn’t just a drive away, he is literally across country. I just cried. Tears have seemed to be a theme the last few days.

I’m sorry this post is boring, but I juts needed to post for myself tonight. I don’t know when I will get to do this again, so I just need to do it know and take advantage of the time I have.

We get our keys for the apartment tomorrow! That means that I won’t have the computer anymore… the only bad thing about moving out. Anyway, I don’t know when I’ll be getting a computer either. things are crazy right now because Doha is closing and they are trying to move everyone out of that camp and to other places, so that is their first priority. So, I’m getting paid to sit, which is okay, but depressing.

Anyway, I hope you are all having a fantastic week! I will try not to be a stranger for the next week, but I don’t really know when I’ll be able to post.

I should have an interesting story about our newcomers briefing. My dad has part in it and was telling me all about some of the weird stuff they brief us on.

I wanted to laugh.

Maybe that will brighten my day. It’s on Tuesday, so we’ll see, though I hope I have something to cheer me up work wise before then.

Thanks for listening to me vent. It probably made no sense because I am exhausted and I just want Will to hold me.

Hopefully I’ll be on in the next couple of days.

Have a great weekend.

Boomer Sooner (last I heard they were up… I guess we’ll see)

If you haven’t already realized, I say tend to say some pretty dumb things sometimes. I regularly say something that leaves Will simply looking at me in disbelief and saying, “Are you being serious?“ It goes back to the whole book smart and blonde dumb I think.

I stuck my foot in my mouth BIG TIME yesterday. As if my first few days weren’t nightmarish enough, I just went ahead and went all out.  If Will would have been there, I know for a fact his jaw would have dropped to the ground and he would have told people I was his derranged sister that wants to hug on him because and call him husband because I have emotional problems, if anyone asked if we were married.

After the big meeting I didn’t have anywhere to go, so I hung out in my mom’s office. I know the people she works with, one of them being a friend my mom has gotten to know fairly well since she’s been here.

This lady is so nice. She has a different ethnic background than I, and she is very proud of her heritage. I truly enjoy learning about her culture and the customs and practices. She has a lot of stories about her family and their life. She talks about her culture a lot, so there are times you are talking about one thing and somehow we get on the subject and I don’t even realize it.

So yesterday she was teaching me a few things about their food and stuff. The conversation ended and I went back to typing an email. A few minutes later, my mom tells her something and starts to give her a hard time. The lady (can’t say her name or it will give it away) starts teasing around and says, “What do I know, I’m just a _____________ (can’t way the term, pretty derogatory)!“ She starts laughing.

My mom laughs too (because they have that sort of friendship).

I don’t say anything.

“Do you know what that stands for Britt?“ she asks.

“No.“

“It stands for: _____________ (still can’t say, but whatever you thinking you are probably right) .“

“Oh! How cute! That is too funny that you guys came up with that!“

She just gives me a strange look. Not really a mad look, just a weird one.

A few seconds later she says, “ Do you know what other names there are for us?“

She then proceeds to give me a few, all which I totally knew.

“Yeah, I know all those. People called me cracker. I guess that is one of those terrible stereotypes our society has. I think it’s great that you guys have a name you use that shows them who’s the boss!“

She just looks at me and says nothing. She then says, “______ is not a name we came up with, it is a name others gave to us. It’s a terrible insult.“

Insert foot in mouth.

I had no freakin’ idea what _____ was. I’m sure I’ve heard it in passing but never thought much of it, but boy will I remember forever now! I can’t believe I said it was freakin’ CUTE!!

I was so embarrassed. Talk about insulting a culture! “That ______ word is so cute! You show those people who’s boss!“

What an idiot.

So last night we all went to dinner and I asked Will and my sister if they knew what ______ meant. They first told me to quick talking so loud because I’d get us all shot, and then they looked at me like I was a cave woman that had been frozen in 1000 B.C.

Apparently EVERYONE knows what that term means… everyone but me!!

Thanks guys, I really could have used some street knowledge on cultural sensitivity before I had that conversation.