I hate-

I loathe read receipts.

I mean- who the crap do you think you are that warrants that I INFORM YOU when I’ve read your stupid little insignificant email?

HA. When your stupid little box pops up and asks if I want to send a receipt I WILL ALWAYS ALWAYS CLICK NO!

...

Unfortunately I have recently joined the realm of annoying morons.

(hanging head)

I’m so ashamed…

Please just send me the stupid receipt already…

I’m a moron.

I can’t run now- I’m a work! Hmm, can I scoot my chair all around the office with my computer on my lap and a pencil behind my ear and a little telemarketer headset?

Ha-

How great would that be?

For me.

No one else. 

Oh heavens.

I just sit down to write a big long quality post (ha) and then I get beckoned by my husband to do something highly important.

Beckoned.

Does anyone say that anymore?

I just said “oh heavens” too.

Please, please send me back to Kuwait.

It’s happening.

The rednecks are infiltrating my life. Stop the madness!

Okay, anyway…

This week I decided something very important:

I can’t trust anyone for advice except for my sister.

Yep. It’s true.

I get so tired of the stuff people tell you to do that they’d actually never do themselves, you know? “Oh you should totally talk to that major hot guy, Sue. So what that you have 57 cats crawling around your studio apartment and you haven’t showered in 3 days. Go! Go flirt with that guy!”

Okay- we all know how the above story is going to end, so why give poor Sue such awful advice!? So she can go hide in her cat menagerie for the next 3 years!?

Alright, so you get my point. I like people that give real, raw advice.

Such as, “Sue. You can’t go talk to that guy. You must first shower and board 53 of your cats because your studio apartment smells like cat piss.”

here’s the story…

So I’m still new at work. Not only that, but I don’t really know anyone in the area where we live. So- yeah, I’m pretty much a bonafide new kid loser that sits in the corner of the office eating paste.

Well, not really- but you know the type- and apparently I’m becoming the type.

Anyway, so I brought leftovers for lunch a couple of days ago. No big deal, right?

Oh guys, I almost had a freaking panic attack! I literally had a crisis at my desk. It was sort of like this-

Do I go heat up my lunch and eat in the break room ALL ALONE like a paste eating loner loser

OR

do I heat up my lunch in the break room and bring it back to my cube and stink up the joint because I’m too afraid to eat ALL ALONE where I should?

Crisis, guys! Crisis!

So- I turn to my only reliable source of sound advice: P.

See, P fully understands my odd ways. Most people would be all positive and cutesy and “You can do it! Go eat in the break room! It’s not loserish. It’s cool! In fact- maybe you’ll make a friend!”

P? yeah, she’s not like that. She’s practical and useful. We sent several texts back and forth. They’re displayed for you below:

Me: Okay so I feel like an idiot. I brought my lunch but I have to heat it up. I don’t want to sit alone in the break room like a loser but I also don’t want to sit at my desk and smell up the office! I so wish you were here. Can you believe I might skip lunch because I’m a moron? What should I do!?

P: As must as I would love you to fill up your tummy, I think it might be awkward if you eat by yourself alone in there. Maybe just a granola bar today? ha ha. In a week once you’re moved in you can avoid these situations by quickly driving home and eating with me and Willy!

Me: Yeah I know. I was thinking the same thing. I love when you give advice. It’s not that positive crap everyone else gives. It’s actually helpful. Off to get my granola!

P: I know. We can never trust real people for advice. Maybe this is the time to start smoking so you can leave the office.

ha ha, totally kidding.

Aw sisters, they’re so great. Solving my problems with lung cancer. Gotta love her.

PS: I totally ate a granola bar by the way. Which is loserish in it’s own right but not as bad as the two options above. Yesterday I went out with my boss and coworker and that was nice. Not loserish at all.

Want to meet for lunch next week so you can rescue me from my cubicle awkwardness?

Okay, so I sit in front of this computer feeling like a major blog loser.

I know it seems silly to be all, “Wah, I can’t access the internet at work and I can’t comment on your blog or check my email, plus my in-law’s have a 1984 Commodore that boots up while we’re eating dinner and still isn’t ready by the time the 10:00 news starts.”

But seriously?

I’m petty like that.

Yeah, so I got like a million super encouraging comments over the course of these last 3 weeks and I can’t even freaking respond!

I hate dial-up.

I loathe dial-up.

I spent over an hour trying to read and comment on your guys’ blog, and was incredibly unsuccessful.

I started to jot little notes down that I wanted to tell you guys (Like, Happy First Birthday Jackson! and Kassie- yay for your NYC trip!) but then I was all, “Brittny! Get a hold of yourself!” so I stopped. I guess it was a little over the top to make a list of names and comments I wanted to say. I’m pretty sure that stuff is reserved for crazy, obsessive bloggers-

and we all know I’m not one of those.

So- I’m going on a comment fast. Yep. I’m going to close comments on my blog until I can finally give back to you all the encouragement you’ve given to me.

The diagnosis of this comment fast isn’t looking good. It’s a pretty bad case of lackoftheinternet, and I’m afraid treatment may last 4-6 weeks. It all depends on how quickly we can get moved in and get the internet set up at our own house.

Wait.

You guys are totally confused, aren’t you?

Let me explain.

We’re currently living with my in-laws.

Uh, and yes, I have had numerous blogable moments I’ve been itching to share but can’t due to the freaking 1984 Commodore.

Anyway- back to the matter at hand.

Living with the in-laws.

We’re staying with them until we can close on our house- which is still a few weeks away.

Aside from the lack of internet capabilities, living with the in-laws comes with a whole host of, er, other things.

Plus we have the dogs which just adds to the chaos. I swear, if Boz pees on the carpet one more time I’m going to turn him into a rug!

Ha ha, I totally just pictured that. Although, Boz wouldn’t be a good rug because he’s so small. Perhaps he’d make a better hat? Like Davy Crockett style. Yeah! That’s it.

Anyway…

my comment fast.

I’m so sorry, guys, for totally sucking at posting and commenting. It’s really bothered me! The funny thing is that most of you don’t even care, but for some reason I have come to take my blog so personally and seriously. Perhaps because it was such a huge piece in my Kuwait life. It was the thing that connected me to life back home.

So that’s it. I’m a serious blog nerd. I really hope to be able to post more than once a week to, because, well, posting once a week is totally pathetic!

Oh- and did I mention my new company blocks everything.

Yes-

E-VER-Y-THING.

Sigh.

Oh- new company.

New job.

Started Monday.

I guess I ought to talk about that, right? After all- it was all the love and support I got from you guys Monday that led me to start my comment fast!

I really think I’m going to love it there. I think I’m going to love my boss, and the people I work directly with seem good too.

Can I just tell you guys how much I hate being new!?

Seriously- I hate it.

I hate not knowing everything. I hate being utterly lost and confused.

Alright- I’m not utterly lost and confused (because that would be something like Alice in Wonderland where I’m following a broom along a red, chalky road), but I do feel a little out of sorts.

Almost everything I did at my old job is done here- but it’s all done differently (if that makes any sense). I’m just ready to have it all down and be comfortable. I hate being unsure of what I’m doing.

I told Will I don’t feel like George Cotanza (you know, when he gets some big shot job with the Yankees and has absolutely no clue what he’s doing), but I still feel like I’m a little lost. Sigh, I guess that’s just being new though.

All-in-all, I really think I’m going to like it there. It just seems like a step forward for me, which is always a good thing.

What else can I chat about?

The house!

I touched on it earlier, but guys- I’m so excited about moving in having our own house! I’ve been trying to think about the house in my mind, picturing where I would put everything and how I would decorate it. It’s got me feeling a little overwhelmed. I’m not really great with those things. Nonetheless I’m still very excited. I wish I would have taken pictures, because I’m starting to forget some of the details. I’ll definitely be sure to take and post a ton in the next month-say it with me, class- “When we get the internet at our house.”

... what else…

P is officially a graduate. I was sad that I couldn’t go to her graduation. She was gorgeous as always. Oh- and I think she’s going to come visit me next month! I really hope she is, anyway (like the guilt trip I’m placing on you, P?). I have a ton of decorating fun things planned for her stay. Plus, Will is going to teach her how to drive and she’s going to try to get her license.

License.

Oh my gosh!

I haven’t even told you the news.

I’m officially a soccer mom.

Not a good soccer mom either.

A 1990s soccer mom.

Oh guys- this subject totally deserves a post of its own, where it can shamefully be displayed all alone.

I am the proud borrower of a 1997 purple mini van.

Yes, please, just stick a pre-schooler in my lap and a white picket fence in my yard.

It’s a whole long story that I’m too tired to share right now, but to sum it up- we’re borrowing my parent’s old mini van for a while.

Ugh.

The Loser Cruiser.

I guess I ought to be thankful- and I am- but seriously? It still makes me cringe.

Ha- although, I’ve been singing that country song, “One Hot Mama.” It makes me laugh.

It will totally come in handy when you guys come visit me for our decorating party this fall! We’ll all load up in the mini and go to Sonic for shakes.

Or I could just cut up some orange slices and Capri Suns and we could hang out in the yard.

Because that’s the quintessential soccer mom snack, right?

See all the fun you guys have been missing?

I think that’s all I can pollute the internet with today.

I really miss talking to you guys, and hopefully my life will become normal in the next month. I would totally give you guys my new phone number but:

1. I don’t want 54 year old pyschos in tight white hanes t-shirts and hole-y boxers calling me at 1 in the morning.

2. I got a super tiny text messaging plan because Will doesn’t think I need the big plan- and let’s face it- I totally do.

Anyway, since I can’t do that, we’ll just have to stick with this for now. I really do look forward to catching up with you guys in the coming weeks, posting pictures of our new house, getting the internet at home, and HAVING OUR OWN HOME.

All in good time. All in good time.

<3

Tomorrow is the first day at my new job.

The job that brought us half way around the world.

(yeah, no pressure, right)

I seriously feel the need to throw up all over myself

and then cry

and then maybe vomit some more.

I hate new things. I am so nervous, and- as previously stated- I have this deep rooted desire to relentlessy blow into a paper bag,

and then puke all over my brand new black shiny heels.

Well- scratch the shoe pukage.

But seriously- I’m that knoted up.

Why can’t I work with you guys!?!

Uh- probably because output would be minimal.

Yeah, that’s why I have to go to a real job I guess.

Say a prayer for me. It would totally suck to lose my Kashi Go Lean Crunch all over my new boss’ desk.

(ew sidenote: how gross would it be to vomit Kashi!? And then multiply the Awful Factor by about 135 because of the fact that you did it on a desk. That belongs to your boss. Oh guys- I’m totally not making myself feel better.)

Alright, so here I go. Entering the workforce in America.

Off to work…

Oh and PS- you’ll never guess in a million years what happened.

We got the house.

Yes.

THE House.

Yep- remember in my last post how I said it was going to haunt the other buyers? Uh, well it must have. We got it. Long story. Hopefully I’ll get to share it with you guys soon. I’m so excited though! More to come…

Oh and PPS- I totally started commenting on blogs this weekend! Yay me! I have about 5 million I still need to catch up with, but hey. Baby steps.

<3

A little over 3 years ago, Will got in his car and began the long drive across town.

He was about to sit his parents down and tell them we would be moving across an ocean- and not only that, but we also planned to live there for quite a while.

The whole time he was gone, my stomach was in knots. I prayed the entire time- and cleaned incessantly. When Will returned home he told me about the conversation with his parents. It obviously was full of his mother’s tears, and awkward silence, but it was over. Officially done.

Just a few short weeks later, Will and I were sleeping on our bedroom floor and recounting memories of the house we would soon be leaving. It was emotional, but at the same time exciting. I couldn’t wait to leave Oklahoma and begin a new chapter in our lives. I couldn’t wait to be reunited with my family and lead a whole new life in Kuwait.

I felt so many different things as we drove away from our house that last time. So many questions, wonders, and uncertainties. We simply drove off trusting God to take care of us and unsure about all the details the future would hold for us.

It’s so hard to believe that this week marks 3 years since Will and I bid our life in Oklahoma goodbye. In some ways it seems like yesterday, but in other ways it feels like an eternity. I have truly learned to call Kuwait home, and I truly enjoy living here. I’m comforted by the prayer calls that sing me to sleep each night, and unalarmed by the ladies garbed in all black. I’m no longer shocked when the scorching summer heat takes my breath away, or when it’s raining mud. This has become my life. It’s incredibly normal to me. As odd as it sounds, I have grown comfortable with a place not my own. A place that worships a different god than mine, and a place that does not value so many things that I value. I know it seems as though such things are contradictions, yet at the same time they make so much sense to me.

The thought of saying goodbye makes me heart hurt, though I’ve known along it was something I would have to do one day. I just never knew I would grow attached to this place, and that’s what makes it so hard.

I resigned today.

After days of talks, weeks of misery, and months of frustration Will and I decided he will not renew his contract this coming May.

I’m sorry- do you need me to pick you up off the floor?

Wave a Snickers Bar under you nose to jolt you back to reality?

I don’t know how to properly begin this post because there are times in which I think I will be writing similar “life altering” posts like this one in the near future, so I don’t really know what to say aside from I feel sort of all over the place.

So up and down.

Like I just ate a bunch of Texas-Sized chili cheese fries and got on the Titan rollercoaster at Six Flags.

I feel good that I can honor Will and support him by “allowing” him not to renew. At the same time it’s got me stressed about the future too.

Are we going?

Are we staying?

What’s going to happen next?

I would hate it if we moved.

I would love it if we moved.

Like I said- all freaking over the place.

I think it’s pretty obvious that since he’s quit, staying in Kuwait is not going to remain a long-term goal any longer (unless of course something really good comes available in Kuwait outside of where I am working now).

Guys, want some insight to my heart?

I honestly have no idea how I feel.

There are times when I miss America and the regular everyday life we don’t have here, but there are so many things I love about the situation we’re in right here, right now in Kuwait.

Back in 2005, when we first moved here, I had a hard time adjusting to things here. Soon after arriving, I compiled a 10 page list of things I missed about home- a list I still have. I pulled it out the other day and it made me realize that I really do miss home. Whenever I read it I can’t get through it without tears. However, I could easily write the same list about things I love and would miss about life in Kuwait.

I feel so confused and torn. Kind of like Sabrina. Do you remember that movie? That’s where I got my first kiss- at Sabrina. Anyway, Sabrina was forced to choose between two men- both of which were great. What a predicament right? I guess I can empathize with Sabrina on some level. I know no matter where we are we’ll find happiness, but at the same time my heart hurts to think about change.

Change.

That is a hard thing for me to deal with at times. I guess it’s the reality of change. I’ve known all along Kuwait was a temporary trip, not our home. I knew that when we first got here- but I had no idea how attached I would become to my life here. Oh Sabrina- why can’t you help me!?

I am trusting God so much to reveal his plans for me. I have been looking for jobs in the States and my prayer is that if we’re supposed to move home than he will work out the details. I may apply to a job or two in Kuwait, but I’m primarily focusing on jobs back home right now. We had only planned to stay 3 years all along, but during our stay we got comfortable and lost sight of that plan. In my heart I wonder if the Lord is creating these waves of change and our restlessness because he knows we’ll just sit here and stay for 3more years if He doesn’t move us some way.

We told my parents and that was hard. They’ve been really supportive so that’s good. It’s just sad because we all know now that the clock is ticking on our time here. I don’t like to think about all that stuff just yet since I’m sort of putting the cart before the horse already, but it does seem as though God might be moving us home sooner than we were ready. Although- are you ever really ready for such big changes??

So that’s my big news. Well sort of big news. We’re still here and unsure about where God may take us right now. Just keep us in your prayers and I will definitely keep you guys updated on where we’re headed whether it’s Timbuktu or Tulsa! Ha ha

<3

To have a crapload of Facebook Friends.

Hmm, would that be bad to say in an interview?

To avoid red teeth stains after drinking 10 bottles of Fruit Punch Crystal Light.

Hmm, I probably shouldn’t say this one in an interview either…

My sister is beyond an amazing trooper.

I think she’s a super hero in disguise.

In case you’re wondering, P was AMAZING at our “quick stop” outing this past weekend.

In fact, the party ended up focusing on her! Go figure. She was a perfect grown-up- which once again reminded me that my little sister is in fact an adult and no longer the bratty kid constantly banished from my room because of her daily destruction of my meticulously established Barbie Town.

She was a perfect lady- I’m sure due to my mother’s constant warnings of needing to be on her best behavior. Oh, but don’t worry, we had plenty of nonverbal communication going on- and lots of nudging each other from under the table. There were a few times where I really thought if I didn’t walk away I might erupt into hysterical laughter for absolutely “no reason.”

Fun times.

We actually ended up staying until the very end, we were the last to leave. My boss’s (is that right? Boss’s? It wouldn’t be boss’ since I mean it as s singular noun, right? Hmm, I’m an idiot. I have no idea) wife is such a hoot. My sister and I actually had a lot of fun talking to her.

However, the most fun was after we left and were in the car where my sister was able to unload on me all the mental observations she had made throughout the night.

Sigh… I wish I could bring that girl to work with me. She would be a blast…

After the party excitement we were up for a night on the town… not really.

We were going to go to the Chocolate Bar but as soon as we arrived we knew it was going to be a madhouse, and not only that but parking was insane. So- we opted to pick up food at this amazing new place called Health Stop.

Guys- it was so great! It’s a place with all healthy food (hmm, what gave it away?). All the nutrition facts are on the menu and when you get your receipt a total of all the calories you ordered is attached. How cool is that? Well, cool and slightly depressing…

In other news we planned our excursions!!! Guys I’m SO elated about this whole thing!

Except for one small problem-

My sister and I are really stupid.

There was one excursion we really, really wanted to go on but it was pretty pricey. So- we opted to cut back on a few of the others in order to cushion the blow of the price of the other.

Turns out when cutting the others, we accidentally cut the one we wanted as well!

You’ve got to be kidding me.

Sigh.

IF WE CAN’T EVEN BOOK EXCURSIONS RIGHT, HOW IN THE WORLD AM I GOING TO BE ABLE TO HANDLE BEING THE RESPONSIBLE ADULT IN LIKE 15 DIFFERENT COUNTRIES!?!?!

…

Anyway, I’m hoping getting it fixed will be easy. We haven’t been charged yet so hopefully it will be an easy fix. What an annoyance.

At least it’s done though. Very exciting!

Now comes the waiting part…

Hope you guys are having a good weekend.