Dozens of soldiers, clad in flip-flops and shorts stroll the camp, fully enjoying the beauty that is today.

As I walked by the pool, every chair was filled with a bronzed body.

The breeze brought the smell of coconut tanning oil, filling my nose with fun memories of my puppy dog days, when life was much simpler.

Beach balls are being tossed about the water and a rowdy game of flag football is underway on the big field.

Spring is here in Kuwait, and things are alive.

And yes, I know it is not technically spring yet… but work with me.

The spring is notorious for bringing change- just look at how many pregnant women are typing on the nest right now! - and I feel that this spring, just like every other, will bring the waves of change to my life as well.

My heart aches for these changes because I’m not sure I’m ready. I thought my growing pains were over, but I fear in many ways they are just beginning.

Gasp, that’s right, yet ANOTHER downer post from me. I’M SORRY! I’ll get it right soon, I promise! Besides, I think this will be my last “life” post for a while. I’ll go back to normal after this one. I just wanted to give ya’ll an update.

Friday night Will and I agreed that he would go ahead and re-sign his contract, committing him to another year here. We then decided that come August, when my contract is up, if we are still unhappy, I won’t renew mine and Will will give a 30 days notice and we’ll come home. That gives us 5 months to really think about what we want to do. We thought that was the right decision to make right now. That way it gives us more time to think about things, though I think we both know in our heart of hearts what we are going to do…

As I sought God this morning, really asking Him just to reveal Himself to me regarding this matter, I was reading Proverbs 30 and saw something that really humbled me and has resonated in my mind all day. I wish I had my Bible with me here at work so I could share it with you (just read Proverbs 30- it’s a short chapter!), but it was this man, Agar I think ( I could be TOTALLY wrong, sorry!) and he was asking God not to make him too poor, so that he wouldn’t resort to stealing, but not to make him too rich so that he would forsake the Lord. He simply asked God for just enough. He knew that having all he needed was, well, all he needed.

I could give you a long drawn out analysis of what is going through my mind, but I think you know that this verse gives me a lot to think about. I know it’s not wrong to have nice things and have a good life, but what is enough? Have I lost sight of what I truly need here in this life? I don’t think there is anything wrong with the financial goal Will and I have set before us while we’re here, but the truth is, “God? Are you trying to tell me this labor is all in vain and we simply need to come home and live a ‘normal’ life with ‘normal’ jobs and that we should be content with having what we need?” I“m not sure.

It’s so ironic because one of my sweet friends emailed me something similar this past week and it really got me thinking, so this was just more for me to process.

So many things to think about in the coming weeks… are we going? are we staying?

Lots to ponder.

We work in a place where a lot of questionable things (not illegal, but things that make you think, “If this was a company in the states that so would have never happened this way.”) occur and everyone is miserable but, “Hey! At least we’re getting paid!” That’s no way to live, y’know? It’s like the joke at this company.

My thoughtful dad called and asked me out to lunch today. I felt like he had grabbed my heart and slammed it repeatedly on my desk and then gave it back to me. It was nothing he had done, but simply the thought that, “gosh. Can I really live without my parents nearby?” I don’t know. I could talk about that for a long time, but I won’t because I’m sure you can relate in some way or another.

So I will go ahead and close for today. I look forward to not having to post these melancholy updates for a while. So as spring approaches, I look towards the changes. I can’t say I’m ready, but I’m willing to go with God.

Bring on August.

Thanks for listening. A normal post tomorrow- guaranteed. Besides, dealing with this stuff is getting on MY nerves so I can imagine what having to read these posts are like!

Hope you had a great weekend. I love you girls.  I’m working on my feedback, slowly but surely! I might have the internet back next week!

Thanks for your friendship and support.

Welcome back.

"If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and heal their land.”
2 Chronicles 7:14
My mind and heart have been far from Kuwait the last few days.

This may become a strange, blabbering, and confusing post today, but I just need to get it out- so just know I am making sense to myself and I apologize if I make sense to no one else… though it wouldn’t be the first time.

Katrina has made me miss home so much more. I know that may sound totally off the wall, but for some reason, homesickness was one of the emotions I’ve been feeling all the more since the hurricane hit.

I feel so detached from life back in the States. I just feel so far away and not up to date on the things that go on. We have a few news channels here, mostly middle eastern and international, and we have one 24 hour American news network (which isn’t the greatest because it takes show from several different American news channels and a lot of the time they are talk shows like Hardball), but it isn’t the same. For example, the big news over here has been the Iraqi bridge tramplings, with the hurricane also being covered but not extensively like back home.

I guess I’m talking generally in the paragraph above, that is an everyday detachment I feel, but with the news and details of the many things that are ensuing after the hurricane, I feel so lost. Okay, so you may say, “It’s bad. It doesn’t take a genius to know that, and you could be on the most desolate of islands and know this information,“ or “Why would you even want to have your eyes glued to the tv watching more footage of the same tragic things?“ You are right. I just wish I could do more with the knowledge I have. For Will and I all we can do is send money- which is definitely something that is needed, but I wish I could just go and volunteer and do so much more than send a check. I’m sure lots of other people even living back home but in states far away from the mess feel the same way, but I guess I just feel like things are a little more impossible over here.

My heart feels so sad about everything that has taken place this week. I have yet to read a good story of hope, though I have to believe there are some that deal with rescues. I have felt so discouraged with the selfishness of our people, but then i have to stop and wonder if I was poor and had nothing to begin with, and had the few things I had were ripped away from me in a storm, would I be the same way? Would I be the same Brittny if my life was like some of those affected? I don’t really know. Okay, maybe I should clarify. I’m not talking about the terrible things going on like rapes and shooting at helicopters or stealing TVs, but I mean just the basic instinct of chaotic survival that has seemed to consume the thousands of people affected. I just have to thank God that he spared me from this tragedy so I didn’t have to find out.

We were without power a few hours this week, which was a minor inconvenience, but you would have thought hurricane Katrina ripped through our complex with the way some people were complaining. I was so angry with the selfishness of some people. I wanted to bring a New Orleans citizen over here to testify that there are bigger things to worry about than not having power for a night.

As we ate our pizza over candlelight that night we thanked God that we had our family in one piece, knowing our minor electric problem would go away quickly. So many thousands of people are not as fortunate, and I wish I could have had them all over and fed them and given them a place to stay for the night. Visions of grandeur I guess.

I think back to the saying “it takes a villiage to raise a child,” and I firstly wish that were always true, but I also wish it could be applicable to the situation at hand. I wish- and I guess this is me wishing we lived in a perfect world- people would have come together in strength and numbers to be a huge team through all of this. Sadly it seems any bond has fallen apart, as I read in one article that as a woman asked a police officer for some sort of aid he curtly replied, “Go to hell. It’s every man for himself.” That seems to clearly sum up the way many people are responding to what has happened. Is that how it really is there? Is that how things really are with most people? I hope not, but it guess I am left to wonder after the way people are responding.

I am rambling on and on, and rambling has never done much good. It has never made a huge difference.(I believe there is power in words- but not so much in my scatterbrained ramblings). Words can only go so far, and truthfully they don’t go very far when something like this happens. It is actions, not words, that make change. I wish I was able to take more action, but I will do as much as I can over here. I pray others will cease with the verbage and the “I hopes“ and take action too.

Anyway, my prayers, as well as the things I can do are with those affected by the storm. It is hard to see that God has a plan with something like this happens, but He is a perfect God and I know He does.

Thanks for letting me sort that out today, whether it made sense or not, I feel a little better getting it out.

Have a wonderful Friday

Y’know the feeling in your stomach you get before you do something you are terrified of? For some its speaking in front of people, others it’s flying. For me its singing. The thought of singing in front of anyone other than myself can conjure up the acid in my stomach and make me feel like I’m going to throw up all over myself. That is probably the best way to explain my feelings last night.

“It” happened. It, as in St. Helen exploding in all its wrath, happened. I won’t give you the 15 minute letter I gave to a friend, I’ll give you the Reader’s Digest version.

Last night Will had to work so I was left alone with my family. I knew the subject was going to come up- it was only a matter of time. I tried to enjoy my dinner and tried to talk the whole time so they had no opportunity to bother me with their questions- dumb I know. So, I said a lot of, “This is really good mom!” and other stupid fillers.  I also ate about 2 helpings of everything. Just when I thought I had gotten through dinner unscathed, it came up.

They sat there for about half an hour trying to get it out of me and I wouldn’t budge. finally I just let it all out- which had my family in shock! I ended up calling Will and telling him “it happened” and he did the sweetest thing: he asked his boss for permission to come home. So, that is what he did. I needed him there with me. I felt so loved that he did that for me.

He came home and we all sat there just kind of talking and seeing what needed to happen next. It was awkward, to say the least. We all probably went to bed feeling lousy and didn’t get much sleep, but in all honesty it was probably good for it all to come out (even though we had hoped to be moved out!).

So, today I woke up with that terrible nervous feeling in my stomach- like I was about to thrust in my pajamas TMJ splint in my mouth and all, to be on American Idol and sing to the world or something. Just call me William Haung.

I devoted a lot of my Bible study time today to prayer and just seeing what God wanted me to do now that “it happened.” I think that in time (and when we move out) things will be better than before because it wasn’t good to hold those feelings in. It feels sort of awkward now because of out living situation- but maybe it is true when they say it has to get worse before it can get better. I hope that’s true anyway!

So I have been praying a lot today for our relationship, and I know ultimately things are going to be fine- but this whole last night ordeal and still living here kind of makes things not too great.

So- I just had to get all that out as my little vent session today. Hopefully this has helped the situation. I know that sounds crazy- and I know immediatley it might have made things worse, but I think that through this it will get better.

So now the clean up crew must come out and figure what we’re going to do with this ashy mess…

Have a good Saturday.

Have there ever been times in you life when you thought it would be fun to live in a different time period? I love history and am always thinking what it might have been like to live in the “old“ days. I used to think it would be so fun to live in England a few hundred years ago, all of the romanticism and excitement…

Well today I think I changed my mind.

I did a little time travel of my own today, and I will be just fine in 2005.

I am officially convinced I never would have cut it 300 years ago. This morning we went to bible study. The lesson was almost a foretelling of the events to follow. It was about rejoicing in all circumstances. Had I known how much “rejoicing” I would have been doing a couple of hours later I would have taken better notes!

We stopped by Johnny Carinos for lunch and headed home a little after noon. It was about 110 outside. We try to use our electronic key at the gate and it won’t work. Hmm. That’s odd. So we try again to no avail. The guard comes and opens the door for us. We approach the door and see no lights on downstairs. Hmm. That’s strange. We go in and do not feel the oh so welcoming usual cool breeze that blows directly on your sweat as it evaporates (lovely visual, huh?)...instead we feel what we feel outside- hot.

Apparently the power had gone off an hour earlier and since Friday is their holy day, there weren’t sure how long it would be before it would be fixed. A man that has lived there for about a year said this was the third time this has happened. The first time they were without power for 6 hours in the dead of summer. REJOICE!

We had a few cold things we had gotten on the way home, so Will and my dad treked upstairs to drop it off. Poor guys. My mom, sister, and I parked it on the downstairs couch and practiced our most statuesque pose. I guess its a mind thing that if you do not move you will be cooler- this does not work after about 105 degrees. I took my shoes off and felt the tile, ahhhh. I was so close to just lying on the ground because of how good the floor felt when my dad was like, “We are going someplace with AC.“ REJOICE.

I am miserable by this point. I have the underarm sweat going on, which I loathe and am just hating my situation. “At least we can REJOICE that we have air in the car,“ Will says cheerfully. I wanted to scream at that point, but I refrained.

So we ended up going to the grocery store going up and down the aisles buying things we didn’t have room for in our tiny kitchen. And again, I was tempted to just lie down right in the middle of the frozen food section. This weather is out of control. I can’t even imagine it getting hotter.

So, on the way home I got to thinking. I could never have lived here a hundred years ago. I can’t even imagine how miserable life would have been without AC. I guess we are pretty spoiled. We got to the apartment and the powee had returned. I think we all let out a heartfelt REJOICE when we saw lights. We got to our place, and since our AC froze yesterday it is still a little weak. Because of this minor problem I felt it was only fitting and finally appropriate for me to lie on the tile. It felt amazing.

It was my first real taste of what life would have been like in Kuwait in 1750. I sure am rejoicing for 2005.

<3

Our first “real” weekend in Kuwait made a realize that we will truly live a very “normal” life while we were here. It felt a lot like the states… but sweltering.

Where to start? I am going to look forward to Wednesdays. The work week in Kuwait is 48 hours, so everyone works 4 10 hour days and one 8 hour days. Will got home at 3:30 on Wednesday, so it was like we had the whole afternoon to hang out and get an early start on the weekend. (it still seems like it should be call Friday everytime Wednesday hits… TGIW just doesn’t have the same ring). Everyone got home and we hung out a while and then my dad made reservations for us to eat at the Crown Plaza hotel for my graduation!

Since I have been kept inside all week, it felt so good to get out. This counrty is nocturnal to the extreme, so everything is so busy at night- we were out what they would say is “early” at 7:00. There are several restaurants in the hotel, but we chose to eat at this western steakhouse. It was really good. It was kind of humourous to see their take on “the old west.” I wonder if they still think there are outlaws and cowboys and horses there just like everyone thinks there are nothing but camels and people that don’t wear “normal” clothes over here.

Dinner was good, but we had to stop off at baskin robbins for desert- not the healthiest thing! Guys- I’m not joking. Evertime I get into a car here I am terrified. I have never experienced panic before, but I seem to each time I am in a car. They way the Kuwaitis drive is out of this world. First of all, very few streets are marked, so you have literally no idea where you are going. My dad has lived here for a year now and had to call a dentist’s office for directions on how to get there, and will tell you by things it is near because the buildings have no numbers. I wonder how they get their mail. Then people will get impatient and drive up on the median and curbs to pass those on the road and then cut in somehow! You can be in a turning lane and someone 3 lanes over will decide to turn and cut everyone off and almost hit you to turn too. Its craziness. I do not look forward to driving here. Today my dad wasn’t going fast enough (he was going the speed limit) so this car got right on out tail and started honking and flashing its lights and then it pulled right beside us and was halfway in out land and almost sideswiped us and was yelling and everything. I seriously almost hypervenhilated. It was terrifying because even though it wouldn’t have been our fault, the police almost always believe Kuwaitis over anyone else because of “wasta,“ which means power and is what this country seems to run by, It’s kind of an unspoken good ole boy system.

Anyway, since everyone comes out at night the traffic can get pretty bad. We sat in it for a while. We just counted all the porches and BMW 700s and landrovers we saw like it was a game.

Yesterday was nice. I felt like I was in America again. We got up around 8 and got ready. We went to this place that is similar to a best buy and my parents needed to buy a printer and a freezer because of the lack of space they have in the apartment. Then we went to the Sultan Center, which can be equivilated with Walmart to go shopping. We came back and unloaded everything and then we went to Marina Mall. It was soooo awesome. It is on Gulf Road, which is like the main road in the city where everything is located. We parked and then I was able to get an Aston Martin… or at least we got a picture by one. Will wanted me to take a picture of this gorgeous lamborgini but I didn’t want to look too suspicious. The mall was beautiful, like a really nice normal mall you would have in the states. Will was dying to see Star Wars on opening day, so we went ahead and did that. Their theatres are really nice with fancy seats. The movie was great- except they cut out the kissing scenes which I thought was weird. My mom slept through the whole thing. Pretty expensive nap.

After the movie we went to ChiChis, this mexican restaurant. It was like 6:30. Anytime Will and I would be home and go to dinner at that time we would have to wait for 30 minutes. Like I have said a thousand times, people don’t get out until late and don’t eat until after 8:30 or so. We were the only people in the entire restaurant! It was the first time I have ever had a restaurant to myself at 6:30 on the weekend.

After that, Will and I had a decision to make. I will try and quickly explain this as best as I can… Because I am not employed with my family’s company yet, I am unable to live with Will in our own apartment unless he pays $1,000 a month (which we can’t do). So, that has made things kind of hairy. We decided to move the few things we had in our apartment out until I got a job. Will is hoping that in the next few days we will be able to get him a room in my parent’s complex, so at least he will be closer and we will be able to see eachother. So we moved out of our cute little place and into my family’s for a while… this situation deserves a post of its own- 5 people in an apartment.

On our way out the “movie guys“ were there. They sell copies of new movies for like $3. We got Sahara, which is still in theatres, Ray, hotel Rwanda, and something else, I don’t remember.

I know this blog is getting long, and I am even leaving out things, but I am just glad about this weekend. Being by myself last week really made me wonder if being here was going to be okay, and this weekend was kind of a little reassurance that everything is going to be okay. Life is not that different from home- minus my friends and a few other things like Walmarts, wearing sleeveless shirts, and tap water.

Today was nice. My family usually goes to a Bible study led by some friends, but he and his wife were out of town this weekend, so we didn’t have it. We just kind of took it easy. We rested, went the nicer Sultan Center more downtown and got some things we had forgotten, and just drove around. We drove past some ferarri dealerships, and looked at some more car places. Will was drooling. Sorry Will, in your dreams. It still blows my mind how rich this country is. It’s crazy.

We also stopped by the beach real quick on our way to the dealerships. It was beautiful. We stopped along Gulf Road and took pictures. We only stayed a few minutes because I had no sunscreen, but it was really pretty.

Tonight we watched Hotel Rwanda. The main guy used to be on Saturday Night Live. He did a great job. It was funny to think of the sketches he was in, and then see him so serious now.

Thanks for reading this looong blog. I wish I could write more, about Geezys and our new living situation… but I will save those for another day! Hope you all have as good a weekend as I was able to! Off to bed now! Good Afternoon America! Goodnight Kuwait!