Guess who is an indirect culprit in today’s post?

Yep-

the MIL.

How funny, I’ve gone months without mentioning her, and then all of a sudden she appears twice in one week!

Where should I start?…

Last night Will and I had a really really long and deep discussion about…

hmm, what was it about!?

“stuff.” Stuff about his mother. Stuff about another lady he likens to a mother, and stuff about how I feel about all of the above.

It all started when we were talking about his trip and everyone he visited. Well, then he casually mentions going to see “The Other Mother (ha- that sounds like a good enough nickname for this entry).”

When I heard this news I got so irritated and mad.

The Other Mother is a woman that Will was extremely close to during a period of his life. He truly did count her as a 2nd mother to him (hence the nickname). He grew really close to the whole family, took trips with them, etc. That’s the short story.

The problem is, however, that he dated her daughter.

And yes, I’m totally petty.

I’ll admit it.

I let stupid things like that bother me.

Once Will and I started dating, he didn’t see her as much since he practically lived with me and my family. She came to the wedding (as did the ex), but they sort of went their separate ways because he was busy being a newlywed and well, he didn’t really need that sort of friendship anymore.

I know the impact The Other Mother had on Will’s life… or at least I thought I did. I don’t think I really truly knew how important she was to him until last night.

When I found out he went and randomly visited her I became the “ugly” wife.

The one I really don’t like.

Why do we all have that ugly wife side!? Seriously! Have any of you found a way to de-program her!? If you have, please let me know!

Anyway, so I became the “ugly” wife with the Medusa hair and bulging eyes. I told him I thought it was disrespectful to me that he would go to his ex’s house. I told him if it were the other way around and I went to go see my ex boyfriend’s father I really think he would have a problem with it.

Will told me he was really surprised that I was upset and he had no intention of hurting me. He said he had hoped I would go with him next time to visit, because of how much she had meant to him. He explained that he knew his ex wouldn’t be there, and he knew I knew how he felt about their family so he really figured I would be okay with it.

I wasn’t. I was annoyed. I admitted to him that I guess some of it was jealousy (yeah I know. I’m terrible. Don’t judge. I suppose I’m the only woman in the world that’s ever been jealous, right!?), some of it was bad feelings about his past, and still more was the fact that I felt that if it were turned the other way around he wouldn’t be so cool with it either.

Then he said something that totally irritated me. He told me, “I think God allowed me to date ____ (insert ex’s name) so that I would meet her mother.”

What!? Are you on meth!? What the crap kind of statement was that?

I told him I thought that was stupid. So we talked about it.

We just talked,

and talked,

and talked some more.

We never broke out into an argument. Actually, it was one of the best conversations we’ve ever had with one another.

Hmm… I feel like this makes no sense. Oh well, let’s carry on.

So the conversation was basically me feeling upset that he went to see his ex’s mother, and him telling me how much he loves me and would never mean to hurt me and that the family meant a lot to him etc.

See, I never really got why this family meant so much to him. Will comes from a great family. Granted, his mother is a little bothersome, but still- a great Christian family. What would make him feel the need to become apart of another one? I asked him that question.

He began to explain to me why The Other Mother made such an impact in his life. He told me, “You know how my mom is! Imagine living with that for 20 years!”

Ha ha, I can’t even imagine!

He went on to say that his mother has poured cold water on everything he’s thought about or wanted his whole life. That is a very true statement. She doesn’t seem to believe in spending money, taking trips, and sometimes I even wonder if she believes in having fun!

She seemed miffed we went to the Super Bowl. She seems to think our 4 OU season tickets are extravagant…

She just can’t seem to let people make their own decisions.

The Super Bowl was a dream for Will. I don’t regret going on second.

Will wanted OU season tickets his whole life. Why shouldn’t he have them!? He works hard. OU is a passion. An obsession. He’s never happier than when we’re in Norman. I’m not exaggerating about that either.

His mother just doesn’t seem to get that. Like Will said, she’s poured a lot of cold water on things throughout his life.

Okay- so you sort of get why he needed another older womanly figure in his life, right? I understood too. I mean, I knew a lot of it, but after talking for as long as we did I finally got it.

What nailed it all down, though, is coming now.

So, Will was proceeding to answer my question. Then?

Then the tears came (and uh- don’t tell Will I told you that. He would totally freak out). I’ve only seen cry maybe three times during the five years we’ve been together.

If you’ve read a long time, you know how much Will’s dad means to him. His dad is his hero. As he continued on with the “cold water” stuff, he mentioned his dad’s truck as an example. He told me about how his dad worked so hard for his family his whole life and how his mother never wanted him to have a new truck, yet she would always get a new car.

Now, if you’re from the South you know how men are with their trucks. It’s a big deal to show off a shiny new truck! Stuff like that bothered Will. When he started talking about his dad, the tears came.

“ My mom and I didn’t get along very because of things like that. I guess I liked being around The Other Mother so much because she wasn’t like my mom and…

and… (insert that huge inhale you take right before the floodgates open)

because she was nice to me.”

And my poor Will really cried. Like real alligator tears. Ones he’s rarely cried before.

It broke my heart. I felt so silly for being the way I was about the whole situation. I know Will would never intentionally disrespect me by doing what he did. I guess most of it was my petty jealousies that got in the way of seeing how much that family meant to him during those college years.

I felt so close to Will last night. We shared so much and it was so good. It was truly one of the best conversations we’ve had in a long time. I learned so much.

I feel a little bare for sharing all this with you guys, but for some reason I thought I would. I thought maybe I would just make this a private post, but why bother, right? Exactly.

So, not a funny ha-ha post today. A lot more sharing than I normally do!

Also, I should say I feel bad for the MIL bashing lately. Will’s mom is a wonderful lady- seriously. Her love for God truly inspires me. I love his mom very much.

Wow, what a post! I feel like I dropped a 500 pound weight on my blog.

Run! Run away while you still can!

More to come. Hopefully not nearly as freaking revealing, right!?

<3

I just got the most random email from my mother-in-law.

If you’ve read my blog for a long time you already know about her.

If you’re just joining, I’ll sum it up by saying she’s a lot like Amy’s mother in Everybody Loves Raymond. A whole lot like her. I swear she is daily escorted to Heaven on her lunch hour so that she can meet with God and assess the world’s events.

“Jenny, I’m thinking about making it rain in Djibouti. What do you think?” God asks.

Of course, my MIL concurs- afterall, it’s GOD!

Hmm, I wonder if they eat cucumber and feta salads? I bet they’re amazing.

Anyway, my MIL “guides” people a lot. She would never flat out say she thinks a person needs to do something, she will simply “guide” them, or say she “thinks” a person should do something a certain way.

I haven’t gotten an email from her in months (we talk on the phone once a week instead-YAY! ha ha). Then today I randomly get one a short one that says the expected, “It was so nice to have Will visit, etc.” However, 85% of this short letter was about how it’s so great Will has lost weight and she “hopes” (one of those guiding words) that he continues to lose weight because of the family history of diabetes, etc. She continues on with the little nudges saying, “It’s so important for Will to get the weight off now before any problems develop.”

I know with all my heart my sweet dear MIL means well with this letter. I truly know that.

However, I guess I’m just a little annoyed that it’s been months since we’ve emailed and the entire email I get is about Will’s fatness and need to lose weight.

Hmm

Maybe I should back track a little, because you’re probably reading this and thinking, “Grow up! It wasn’t that bad!”

and you’re right,

however, this issue has been ongoing thing with her.

Everytime we get together she “guides” me to cook healthier, not go out to eat as much, etc. I even got a Cooking Light subscription for my birthday (which by the way- I LOVE). I feel like she has blamed me for Will’s weight gain- which quite honestly is HILARIOUS because if you looked in our cupboards you might honestly go blind by all the healthy foods.

Yes. Blind.

I’m always in a bad mood when I’m at home and really needing something terribly inappropriate to eat- because we don’t have anything! Not one freaking ounce of chocolate, cookies (well, except south beach ones), or chips. I bought chocolate chips for the first time in ages last week.

Yep. I made Will gain weight. Uh huh. I forced lettuce wraps and pita sandwiches down his throat until he couldn’t hold anymore. I’d wait an hour so his stomach would settle and move on to round two, all the way until he was about to throw up. It was like a game we played.

Seriously! I really think she must think I have cupboards stacked full of vanilla frosting and teddy grahams, and that we eat frito chili pie for dinner each night.

I can’t control what Will eats outside of our house, but I can assure you that what he eats at home is healthy.

AND

(yes- AND)

Will has been doing AMAZING lately. I’ve never been prouder. I’ve been packing his lunch and he’s just gotten so disciplined. I think my MIL sees the weekend/vacationing side of us- which unfortuntely is quite different from our normal side.

But seriously- we can’t be blamed! They don’t have Taco Bueno in Kuwait! We HAVE to load up. It’s our duty!

Will is a grown man capable of making decisions on his own. It’s not my job to mother him and make him do things he doesn’t feel like doing. He already knows the risks of diabetes and that it runs in his family. He doesn’t need me constantly reminding him. It was Will finally making the decision on his own to get healthy, and I can assure you if it were me pestering him and nagging him about it it just would have driven him further away.

I really feel like going to the store and buying loads of corned beef, Costco sized bags of cheese, frozen pizzas, cheetos, gallon sized tubs of pudding, and a big fat fry daddy. Then, I want to strategically place them all over my kitchen and invite my MIL all the way from Oklahoma to our house for dinner one night.

Just for laughs.

She’d probably mutter (in her head, of course! Never out loud- remember? She eats lunch with God), “I knew it! I knew she was feeding Will to death!”

Ah, you gotta love spite (just kidding...kind of).

So that is today’s story.

Hmm, all of a sudden I’m really craving a big gooey chocolate-frosted brownie.

<3

Dear P,

I know when you went to straighten your hair this morning you realized, “Hmm, this probably won’t work because the cord has been chewed in half by Brittny’s two little demonic furry balls of fury- little CUTE and CUDDLY demonic fury balls of fury.”

Yeah I bet you said cute and cuddly, right? Only I bet you inserted a lot of naughty words in the middle too.

Like the F-bomb, and the S-word, and all sorts of funny variations like “F-ing hell” and “bloody little S-words.” Ha, I bet you called Lucy the B-word big time.

Well, before you grab a sharp Number 2 pencil and pierce poor Boz’s hiney, let me assure you that I have already taken care of the problem.

Upon realizing the havoc they wreaked on your straightner, Boz and Lucy were promptly spat upon, insulted, hanged upside down, and sent to a remote forrest in the Phillipines, where all naughty cord-eating dogs live in exile.

The dogs you see right now are not Boz and Lucy but in fact Roz and Suzy, their understudies. Their stunt doubles, if you will. They are much cuter and better behaved than Boz and Lucy, as I’m sure you’ve already seen for yourself.

I truly apologize for the inconvenience Boz and Lucy have caused you and your hair. Thank God you had a back-up Chi to use. However, I understand after having a Ceramic Tech a Chi is no comparison. Fret not, I will be replacing the Tech with a shiny new one. Now that I don’t have to pay for dog food I can better utilize my money.

Although, are Boz and Lucy the only ones to blame here?

I say those crazy Brits are to blame too. They should have made their cords better and stronger. I mean, who doesn’t get tempted to chew on an electrical cord every now and then? Geez. Boz and Lucy were simply pointing out the fact that these straightener cords are just not up to the challenge of dog chewing. Perhaps they were doing you a favor? I mean, think about if YOU were the one gnawing on that cord, right? They took one for the team.

So in closing, I apologize for the inconvenience. I promise to replace your straightener, as well as keep Boz and Lucy in their Filipino confinement until further notice.

I love you and thank you for being so cool about everything.

Your Sister,

Britter

I’m sitting in Starbucks with my mom and dad while P gets her hair “Platinumized.”

This is my third time to go to Starbucks since last night at 11:00

And it’s not even 3:00 today.

I’m feel a little shaky right now.

Well, I saw Willy off last night which was a bit sad. After I gave him a big hug- (sans the kiss because of the crazy rules around here), we all went Starbucks- because, as you all know, there’s not much more that makes a girl feel better than an iced vanilla latte with 6 Sweet n Lows.

Oh- and a cannoli from Johnny Carinos.

P and I stayed up talking until about 12:30. It was nice to get to hang out and be with her.

Want to know a secret? I swear somtimes she’s the bigger sister. The girl is so travelled and wordly and interesting. I feel like a little kid sitting indian style on a round multi-colered carpet saying, “Tell me a story from you life!”

Anyway, I survived my first night and did okay. I practically suffocate poor Will at night, but I tried my hardest not to accidentally cuddle with P.

Ooh! Want to know a crazy side story?

When I was in high school I was on this youth trip and had to sleep with this adult sponor lady that came with us because we were all sharing hotels. Well, in the middle of the night I turned over and started spooning with her!

Oh my gosh- how freaking embarrassing. She totally freaked out. What can I say? I’m a nice girl.

Anyway, no accidental spooning incidents last night.

This morning I got up and my family all went to the beach club where they’re members. I used the gym facilities. It was weird working out with boys. I love my women’s gym because I feel like I “own it” when I’m working out. All the other ladies in there are pansies and I feel like I’m the only one that takes weight training seriously. Anyhow, I was proud of myself for “owning it” at the gym today, even with burly men around.

Okay, before I go on I have to ask you guys somehting. Why do we feel the need to tell the internet our ENTIRE business? I have no idea. It’s so strange.

Having said that, I weighed myself at the gym today and about died. I’ve never in my life been so heavy. I felt sick with myself. I know it’s just a number on the scale, and a lot of it is because of the muscle mass I’ve put on, but the number was staggering. I can still wear sizes that make me feel really good about myself, but seeing that number made my eyes pop out of my head. I guess what I really need to do is take a body fat test. I know I’ve gotten really solid over the past year, so I think that would put my mind at ease.

Anyway, after freaking out over the weigh-in, I nervously got into my swimming suit and went to the beach with P. We sat there for about 30 minutes but then I was miserable and sweating all over myself, so we agreed it was time to leave. It was 127 and not even 11:00! How freaking miserable. To beat the heat we went to Starbucks and got iced lattes.

Afterwards I went home, got cleaned up, and here I am, again, at Starbucks. When P gets done I’m not really sure what we’ll do. I desperately need to do shopping for summer clothes and all the malls are having incredible sales. My sister is also determined to take me out to eat at a place I normally wouldn’t go. Will and I are pretty boring and stick to Chilis, Hard Rock, etc. However, that’s mainly because he’s so picky. Tonight I’m up for something different.

I know this was probably boring to read, but I figured it would be good for me to chronicle this time without Will, and what better place to do that than my blog?

Ooh! Want to know something random that just triggered in my brain when I wrote “blog?”

I totally had a dream last night that someone I work with was reading my blog. I know of a couple people that do, but this was someone I didn’t know. How crazy I just now remembered that.

Anyway, today has been fun. I miss Will, but it’s nice to be able to spend time with my family too.

Will should be in the Big D tonight. He’s going to stay the night with his brother the vet, and his dad is going to meet them both down there. I hope he’s having a good time too. I’m sure he is. I’m off to check my email now. I’m hoping he was able to write while he was in Amsterdam. He “HAD” to check his fantasy football drafts, so I’m also hoping he was able to send me a hello as well.

So that’s about it. I hope you guys are doing well. I’ll be sure to keep my blog updated as I continue to bach it a while longer.

Have a good day, I wish you lots of smiles and Starbucks lattes.

<3

Okay- so I’m a little behind on my feedback but I promise to start catching up Saturday. PROMISE. Since I suck, I turned off comments today.

Before I begin I also have to give some serious love to Dawn, Jenny, Angela , Rustilyn, and Alicia. Knowing you girls would hold my hair back?… well that’s just love.

Isn’t it funny how close we can feel to people we’ve never met? Most would say that’s weird, but I think most of us that “talk” through this venue on a constant basis know it’s not weird at all.

Well, to give you an update, I’m holding strong. The streak remains unbroken. I think my stomach must be made of steel. No throwing up. Unfortunately the yucks have more than made up for the no puking (Ahahaha- when I went back and read that post I totally busted up about needing a t-shirt that said “I Did My Duty In An Army Bathroom.” so classic). This seems to be an annual thing every summer here. Hmm- I wonder if it has something to do with the summer? Yes, August has made me sick.

weird.

Want to know how messed up I am? Will and I were talking about what we wanted to do for dinner last night since we were sick. Will was all, “I think I’m going to have a few Saltines and that’s it.”

I’m all, “I want a pizza!”

Ha ha. I eat healthy all freaking week and dang it, I want something “bad” on Wednesday night. I’ll deal with the repercussions later.

No pizza. Saltines. It proved to be a good decision because even those didn’t work out too well.

***

Well, my family is back in Kuwait, so that’s good news. Before Will and I got sick we decided we would surprise them and pick them up at the airport. That proved to be a bad decision since we were sick, but it was too late to change the plans. We picked them up around 11:00 and took them home. Most normal people throw their bags on the floor and go to bed, but not my family. My dad was so proud of his Genuine Leather video. Will and I were there until almost 1:00 watching! It was cute. He was so excited to show us.

***

As you can see, nothing really exciting to share.

Off to the gym.

Much like the pizza, this is probably a decision I will regret.

Nothing is cooler than seeing a project manager, music minister, and teacher in their late 40s jam out like they’re 18, right!?

Check this out. It’s great and totally classic. It took FOREVER to load on my computer, but it was still fun to watch.

Plus I’m a huge fan of the drummer. He’s the best I’ve ever watched.

(it’s my dad)

Have a good weekend!

My family is on vacation in Colorado.

The desolate part.

So desolate in fact that if they dropped a Green Beret out there and said, “Good luck Captian Killer. Here’s a knife and 3 ounces of water, don’t get lost!” he’d be in the fetal position 30 minutes later.

It’s depressingly desolate I tell you.

Anyway-

Apparently Z thought it would be sweet to surprise P in Colorado! Yes- meaning he flew all the way from England to Denver just for her.

Okay, let’s have a unanimous “Awwww.”

Okay, that’s enough.

So he randomly up and decides “ I know! I’ll secretly fly to Denver and surprise P! Screw planning and preparation! When you’re in love- everything takes care of itself!” He thought he would simply catch a cab and arrive a few minutes later at my grandparents house.

Okay, let’s have a unanimous laugh. “Hahahahaha.”

How cute.

Poor guy.

I got a text message from him on the way home this week saying he needed to get in contact with my sister.

I sent him a quick note back saying I was in the car and couldn’t get it right then.

I then got a message back informing me that he’s in Denver right now, can’t reach P, and isn’t really sure what to do.

I started totally freaking out! What!? Denver!? What the crap? That’s not England!

Poor guy! He was doing the sweetest thing in the world right now but couldn’t reach my sister- and was probably confused by all the Broncos “football” gear.

Thankfully I was able to reach my family. They were shocked by Z’s thoughtfulness and felt bad he had to hang around in the Denver airport sitting next to some weird bearded guy in a purple sweatshirt that was enamored by Z’s “Britishness” and kept asking, “G’day mate! Do ya want some shrimp on the barbie?”

To which Z replied,” You freaking idiot moron. I’m BRITISH.” <- all said in his awesome British accent of course.

Don’t worry, they picked him up yesterday.

He wasn’t too traumatized by us crazy Americans.

He still can’t figure out that football stuff though. Crazy soccer fanatic.

What an adventure.

Oh too be young and in love.

PS: Z, you’re the sweetest British guy I know. 

My family is on vacation, remember?

Well yesterday morning I got an email from my dad’s work account. I guess he was just checking in with office stuff. It was a short email, almost entirely work related- and a little on the tacky side. Okay.. a lot on the tacky side.

I reply back. Nothing bad really, just a response to the email.

About 2 minutes later I get my dad’s Auto Responder that says he’s on vacation and all mail is being forwarded to his coworker until he gets sent back.

Opps.

I tried to recall the message, but I was too late.

I bet that guy got a real kick out of reading an email string that wasn’t intended for him. He sure knows my dad’s opinions now that’s for certain!

How embarrassing.

I think we’ve all learned a valuable lesson here. 

Crap.

That is what you’re being provided today.

I had this nice long post typed out. I left to go to a meeting and when I came back to post- my stupid session had timed out.

It was the best post I’ve ever written. Ever! It could never be recreated.

So now it’s just time to give you crap. Random crap at that. Let’s get started.

My mom, dad, and sister are enjoying a wonderful vacation back in the states right now.

My dad has his big high school reunion- where his old high school band is going to jam out to a few oldies! I so wish I could see this. My dad is a great drummer. I even bought him personalized drum sticks for father’s day that had his old band’s name on them. I don’t know if he’ll use them, though. He said he didn’t want to mess them up.

They’re also going to the Mall of A-freaking-merica! I’m so jealous. Not only that, but they’re also going to visit colleges for my baby sister P. Can you believe that!? She’s old enough to look for colleges now. I need cake.

No. I’m not bitter. Not bitter at all. Why would I be bitter about the fact that I’m stuck here in the Lake of Fire while my parents are living it up back home? That’s silly! Thankfully, my mounting Wal-Mart list is helping me sleep at night. It’s nice to have personal shoppers!

Oh- and they took Molly. Apparently they think that not only Will and I make sucky parents for a human child, but we’re so bad at parenting our own dogs that they wouldn’t leave theirs with us for a few measly weeks.

I swear I only lock them in the closet every other Sunday!

They said they like having her around and they didn’t want us to have our hands full. They’re lying guys, I know it. So, no Molly. Poor Boz and Lucy.

I think I’ll have to console myself with a piece of cake.

Speaking of! I’ve got a birthday boy in my house this week! Will is turning 27. I think we’re both more excited about the cake than the birthday. Then again, that’s pretty much life in general.

Will made me promise that since there are no parents in country we do whatever he wants. No obligatory dinners, no chores, no appointments- just fun. Or laziness. Whatever the case, I’m really looking forward to this weekend. Lord knows I need one after my sad night at the Steakhouse last week , and then the big double date the night after (that might need to be a seperate post). I need cake because of that too. I’ll be sure to take one for the team and consume an extra piece for all you lovelies out there.

Okay, since I’ve been droning on about cake (and every other boring facet in my life) I guess I should talk about the gym. I started a new program and I’m so excited about it! I was looking forward to it the whole way to the gym. I’m a creature of habit and if someone didn’t change something up for me every few months I’d still be stuck doing the same thing I did last year. I fear some of it is easier than what I was doing before, but hopefully I’m wrong. I worked my legs, triceps, and abs last night. My triceps are sore today, and I have a feeling my legs may be sore tomorrow, but I don’t think it will be too bad- I hope. If you’re interested let me know and I’ll post what I was doing before and what I’m doing now. It’s good stuff! It keeps all that cake from attaching itself to my entire body. Ha, the crowd rushes to request workout ideas...not!

What else?

Today Will ran into a soldier we went to church with a few years ago! What a small world, huh? I always wonder if we’ll see someone we know. I told Will he’d have to take the guy out to lunch one day. You know, to one of the many “fancy” restaurants we have on a military installation.

Want to know something weird? I think I’m afraid of my inbox. I would rather have a pile of work next to my inbox than to have it inside. I’m not quite sure why. All I know is that it makes me weirder than I thought. Seriously, I have two little piles going on right now and then a few things in my inbox- all which do not require my response or attention.

I did tell you this was crap, right?

On another random note, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking today. I really want to have a crown in Heaven. I know that might sound silly and rather ambitious, but the book I’m reading has been talking about it and it’s helped me to remember life is a lot longer than the 75 years on this Earth.  It makes wonder if I’ll have a crown to lay at God’s feet.

See, I have short-timers syndrome. I can barely look ahead to next week let alone eternity. As dumb as this sounds, I sometimes forget my life goes beyond this short time on earth. Sure, I know that, but I forget that my life is bigger than what I think it is. It’s not just about punching in for work, going to sleep, and doing it all over again. It’s about a whole lot more!

That’s been my deep thought for the day. Well, my deep thought tightly condensed for a post entitled “Crap.”

Other than my vacation jealousy, there’s just not a whole lot going on in my life right now other than work. No babies, no looming babies, no vacations, and no other exciting news of note. Because of that, I think I need some cake.

Back to freaking cake! Don’t you love how my post always circles back to food?!

Will requested a Baskin Robbins cake for his birthday this year. He did me proud. Last year it was browines. Brownies!?! Who wants brownies on their birthday!? Not only that- but brownies with no frosting!

I think he wanted to hurt me.

This year, however, he’s more than made up for it. We will be having a chocolate cake with World Class Chocolate ice cream and chocolate frosting. My teeth hurt just thinking about it. Don’t tell his trainer though, okay?

P promised me she would read my blog while she was away, so I told her I’d give her a shout out every now and then, so that is how I shall end this post.

Private to P: Miss P, I love you! I hope you’re having a good vacation. You better write me. If you don’t I will hunt you down and make you do something crazy- like a pizza roll commercial. Ahahaha.

Crap. I miss her.

I need some cake. : )

Being an older sister is hard sometimes.

As I’ve mentioned before, I have this “motherly” thing with P. I feel like I need to be the tracking bracelet harnassed to her ankle, you know, just to make sure she’s okay. I feel like part of me is part of her (ha ha, I guess technically it is if you want to get into genes and all that stuff).

That’s why I almost had a breakdown over dinner Thursday night.

We were enjoying a lovely evening, when all of a sudden my mom looks down the table at Z and says, “You know, things just aren’t going to be the same when you’re gone!”

WHAT!?

My pulse quickens.

I start breathing faster.

Sweat? Yes, sweat.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

My mom them turned to me and said, “Oh- Z is leaving Saturday morning to go to London.”

Guys- I almost cried right there in my steak.

But then I realized it would be a pity to waste such a good steak- so I held it together.

Can I simply say I felt like Z was breaking up with me over dinner!? I had flashbacks to my junior year when I was on the phone with my boyfriend droning on about German class and he got all quiet. Then the “mutal break-up” ensued (I have no idea why… it couldn’t have anything to do with boring German class talk, right?? Nah.) This couldn’t be happening again right? My sister was jovial and fine, and here I am in utter shock that Z was “breaking up with me.”

He and P are staying together, but he left because he starts college this fall. I knew it was coming, but I was surprised it was so soon. A few weeks ago when I asked he didn’t know, but then bam! I get the break-up news over a wonderful family dinner.

The only thing missing was the infamous, “We need to talk...” line.

So, Z and I are “breaking up.”

I guess it’s true when they say families get attached to the boyfriends too. Who would have thought!? I really like him and P together, and knowing he’s a million miles away makes me sad for her, even if they are still together.

I actually got a lump in my throat yesterday morning when he sent me a text message bidding farewell. I felt so bad for P and it made my heart hurt. Let’s hope Christmas break comes soon for their sake. I told my sister the message made me sad and she totally played the role of the older sister, telling me everything was going to be fine, blah, blah, blah.

Did I mention it seemed like I was the one getting dumped???

Young love is the pits sometimes, huh?

So, I guess you could say I’m surviving my first “sister boyfriend breakup.” I thought break-ups were over! Apparently, I’m going to be experiencing them for quite a while. Self-inflicted supportive heart break… I’m such a good sister, aren’t I?

And she and Z are still together! Imagine what a mess I’ll be during a real break up!

Lord help us all.

Excuse me, I need to get back to my Ben and Jerry’s, tissue box, and 10 Things I Hate About You.

Did I mention I’m taking this hard?