You would think I was harvesting octuplets for barren parents or something.

I am on a ravenous rampage, taking out all around me- small children with candy, old ladies with bran muffins.... I have no prejudices! It is taking all that is in me to refrain from grabbing large handfuls of cookies and shoving them whole down my mouth. I don’t quite know what the deal is, but I have had the appetite of an adolescent boy in puberty the last two days.

I’ve been like an animal. I should be featured on the Jeff Corwin Experience or something. Maybe even Crocodile Hunter. “Now mate. Look at that female go! Step away! She’s eating swallowing that sandwich whole! She almost took my bloody hand off as I fed it to her!”

Okay, if you’ve read long enough you know that I can eat, but these last 2 days have been different. I don’t know if its because I was sick and now I’m feeling better so my body is hungry again or what. It could be Aunt Flo too. She’s back in full force, very angry that I have been ignoring her calls. I did a major no no. I switched to this new Kuwaiti stuff 3 months ago and purposely skipped the visit 3 times, each for it’s own reason (will’s b-day, trip to Qatar… etc). I know that’s okay to do sometimes, or at least my crazy doctor said that, but I think my body is mad at me, because I have been paying for it with the worlds longest, unplanned, and unwanted cycle. Once again, that lovely Brittny info no one cares or wants to know. Sorry guys.

Okay anyway, I am officially scheduled for a visit today (even though that broad has made herself comfortable and kicked her feet up on my uterus while reading USAToday the whole flipping month), so maybe that has something to do with it.
I have been out of control! I’ve been trying hard to maintain a good diet now that I’m working, but these last few days have been terrible. It’s like my willpower is taking a nose dive or something. I think another big reason is because I work in a building full of shops and yummy things to eat. Let’s see… we have Baskin Robbins, Subway, a coffee shop… the smells fill the whole building, which is beyond enticing. Not only that, but behind my building there is a taco bell, burger king and about 50 million other things. I feel like shoving cotton up my nose so I won’t be tempted by the aromas. I haven’t given in, except I do have Subway or Taco Bell for lunch, staggering days between that and a Meal on the Go bar.

Peer pressure is huge too. I was convinced I would eat a Subway salad for lunch yeterday. I almost wrote a freaking memorandum and had it notarized so it was set in stone. My new friend calls and asks me out to Taco Bell and I fold like a 7th grader’s note asking out the band guy. I don’t know what my problem is. I think another thing is my new schedule. I eat breakfast at around 4:25. I am so ready to take out an all-you-can-eat buffet all on my own by 10:00. I should probably keep a snack in my desk- but we don’t have desks yet so I am literally at a long brown table. It’s really sad. Anyway, I eat lunch and then when I get home I am ready to tear the whole house down. I really need to get myself adjusted to my new schedule.

Last night I came home and had a brownie. Then I had 2 pieces of thin crust cheese (yum, my favorite pizza ever), a few spoonfuls of leftover homemade mac and cheese… and then I sat down and ate half a dozen cookies drowned in milk. I didn’t even bat an eye at the time, but afterwards I looked at the horrifying rampage I had went on and thought, “This better be Flo.”

Anyway, I also wonder if it has something to do with the low dosage of hormones I’m on. It’s the lowest on the market- they don’t even manufacture it in the states (which isn’t very comforting ot me). So, maybe that is a factor, or maybe that is me rationalizing (it’s probably just me rationalizing). Whatever it is, it shocked me the last 2 days. Once again, giving you all lots of unwanted information.

Sorry.

Food has been on my brain this week.

I had my mom and sister rolling yesterday. I was telling them I was so hungry yesterday that I was even daydreaming about food.

“I had mozzerella sticks and then 5 cheese fettuccini.”

“Where did you go, Britt?”

“Johnny Carinos.”

“Then Will and I split a canoli… and turtle cheesecake.”

I guess you had to be there…

Yes ladies, not only am I weird, but I am crazy. I wasn’t joking about my appetite! I am kicking that crap to the curb tomorrow and going back to normal, darn it. I went to the gym for the first time since I started work and it nearly kicked my butt. Sorry guys, but I’m sorting my male-like desires for french fries and Lord know what else out!



As for other things, Will got a new ride- sort of. Everyone shares cars here, but he was signed for a Pajero that is crimson. It’s the Sooner Mobile now. Despite their terrible record, we’ll drive it with pride. He came home early last night which made me so happy. That rarely happens, so it was a surprise. We watched some news, and then of course Sportscenter. We were debating whether or not to watch a King of Queens, but we opted for sleep instead. We’ve become that boring couple you all talk about.

“They never have any fun!”

” They are such sticks in the mud!”

On weekends we get out and do stuff, but weeknights are reserved for showers and sleep. In bed by 8:30. We sound like your 7 year old niece, don’t we? Oh well.

I am really making myself seem bad aren’t I? Some crazy girl that eats cookies and milk like its cereal and then goes straight to bed so she can congeal in my tummy and butt 10 minutes later.

What a goof. Enjoy your last day off

Thank you God for the weekends.

I am so glad He valued a day of rest. I went to bed at 8:00 last night. I always thought it was strange when Will would just fall dead on “Friday” nights, but now I can understand!

Early this morning I woke up with cramps that would even make a NFL football player cry. I got up and you would have thought I had turned into a 275 pound college football playing beer guzzling fraternity brother. I stood in the kitchen and chugged 3 bottles of water in less than 6 minutes. I then had a banana and went back to bed. By the way, thanks Lyna for your letter. You are too sweet. I am getting Gatorade today! I drank the last one a couple of days ago.

Lesson to all, you may need a lot more water than you think- so freaking drink plenty!

My parents had me a little upset the last two days. They have basically packed our bags and are now constantly asking us when we are moving. They even went and got the key to our new place for us.

Hmmm.

I guess that was a hint. It kind of upset me, and in some weird way hurt my feelings. I’m freaking sick and there is no way I can move this weekend. Plus I hadn’t talked to my boss, the person who coordinates my transportation, about it. He thinks I am moving next weekend, because that was the plan. I know my parents are ready for us to go- we’re ready to go too- but we made no plans to do it this weekend. Plus, the housing lady told us it would be next weekend, so that is what I’m going to go by. I told them we were waiting until next week and they didn’t say a lot It wasn’t like they were mad or anything, but I could tell they probably wished we would get out sooner. The way I see it is we’ve already been here almost 5 months, what’s another week, right? It has been interesting with 5 people in an apartment that’s for sure!

I am so glad it’s Saturday for us. I don’t think we have anything great planned. We are going to go see Cinderella Man late this afternoon. Can you believe that is just now coming to Kuwait! How crazy. We get stuff as it leaves theatres in the States, but this came really late! I guess I will enjoy my time going to see an “old” movie during the day! In the next few weeks that will be a luxury I will miss bad!

Ramadan is coming soon, and that will be an experience I will never forget. I’m sure you will hear me talk about it all the time for the next month. Everything shuts down all day during that month. The government ministries’ work even comes to a trickle. The Kuwaitis fast all day long and then all night is like a huge massive party. I think the night life may be neat to see (minus the terrible traffic), but the day will be unbearable. Everything is closed, from fast food to grocery stores- everything. If you are caught eating or smoking during the day you can be arrested on the spot until Ramadan is over. Even if you are in your car drinking water! The good thing is that since I I will be on a military post I will be able to eat during the day while I’m there, and by the time I leave at night it will be dark (they fast from sunrise to sunset), so it won’t be too strange, though I’ve heard it can get crazy at nights.Anyway, I said all that stuff to basically say I am going to enjoy going out to eat and to a movie this weekend because we won’t be able to do that soon!

Thursday posts are always boring and uneventful. Ah well. I just can’t stay away from you girls. What can I say?

Have a great day. <3

I can’t believe I’m about to share the extremely deep personal corners of my life with you all.

Prepared to be terrified.

I’ve got the yucks. Bad. I’m sure I won’t have to go into detail the symptoms, I’m sure you get it. Two nights ago my stomach started hurting terribly bad. I spent half the evening between the couch and the bathroom. I had a headache and my body ached. No fun. Yesterday I came prepared, tylenol and pepto in hand. I was going to beat this crap (heehee). I was miserable all day. I didn’t think i was going to make it through the day.

Okay, confession time. I hate, hate, absolutely loathe doing anything other than peeing in public bathrooms, and even then I line the seat with toliet paper 50 million times or squat. I don’t know why I have such a huge complex, but I refuse to “use use” the bathroom in public restrooms. I could be turing blue and have internal posioning, twitching my left leg and seeing stars, and I still wouldn’t go. I kept praying I would be okay all day. Everytime my stomach rumbled or gurgled or made this strange feeling that I can’t even explain I just drank more pepto. Yeah, I’m sure that was real great for me too.

Well yesterday I had my mom pick me up a few minutes early. i thought I was going to die. The way home couldn’t get easier, but of course something bad would happen when I was holding my breath, praying I wouldn’t lose it in the car: we get lost.

Not only do we get lost, but we get lost in a residential with no paved roads because my mom, “Knew a shortcut.”

Thanks.

So the whole time I kept praying that I would faint and not go all over myself because at least fainting is way more socially acceptable. “Please just let me faint. PLEASE, I just want to freaking faint!” I really did say that. What a weirdo.

So we finally get home and I was sick sick. I was miserable. My sweet Will was able to come home early last night so he was there when we got home. I always give him a huge hug and welcome when I first see him, and I was totally thrilled that he had come home early, but all I could say was, “yay! You’re home early! I’m sick!” and then ran to the bathroom.

Last night I took some Aleve (thank God for Aleve, the most amazing fever reducer, headache helper, and body ache killer), but still felt sick in my stomach. Will was eating an ice cream bar when the phone rang. He went to get it and I thought, “Maybe that would make me feel better.” Yeah, because ice cream is the best antibiotic, right? So, I took a bite (he had told me earlier, “Please don’t eat after me because I don’t want to get sick.” opps.) Anyway, I didn’t think I was contagious sick, I thought it was more of a Brittny internal thing- does that make sense?

We go to bed and at midnight Will totally scares me. He throws off the covers and runs to the bathroom. I think to myself, “Crap. He is going to be so mad at me.” He was up for over an hour with the yucks too. I was convinced I had made him sick, and so was he. This morning he was a little mad at me. I seriously did not mean to make him sick, like I said, I didn’t think i was contagious!

Anyway, I KNEW I was sick today because you’llnever in a million years guess what I did… yes… I went in a public bathroom.I was that desparate. Not once… Not twice… Three times. Wow. That is a huge and amazing feat for me. I need a T-Shirt that says, “I did my duty in an army bathroom.” I knew right then I was really sick because there was no other way I would let myself do that. That is the worst thing to do ever for me (I know, I’m weird). You are basically going to the bathroom in front of everyone in the same room. Okay, so they don’t see you, but they are still there to share the intimate moment with you. how awkward. I so wish I could tell you my bathroom story it is pretty funny, but I think I’m sharing enough right now and I would be even more embarrassed to tell you al that, so I’ll just skip that moment.

Today I actually had a lunch date! Yay! I went to lunch with the girl that I had met from my newcomers briefing. I had such a good time and I laughed the entire hour. It takes me a while to fully and totally open up to people I’ve just met, but for some reason I just let loose. Probably because it’s been so very long since I’ve had an Friend-HEI. I probably scared her with my friendliness. Anyway, I told her about my problem and she totally shocked me with a , “ME TOO!! I’ve had it for 2 weeks!!” 2 weeks!? I can’t have this junk for that long. I would have withered up and died by then. Apparently it is a form of dehydration. We just need to be drinking lots more water than we are now-a whole lot more!  I drink my 8 a day, but I know I need more, especially being in the desert. So, that is the cure. She said she had been drinking more water since yesterday and she still had it, so it was probably going to take another day or two for everything to clear out, especially since the yucks make you lose lots of water too. So, I’m pretty sure that is what I have too. That so sucks. That means I have to endure this for a few more days! I am going home and am going to drink 8 bottles of water. water is free here, so there is no reason why I shouldn’t be drinking more- except that I already pee once an hour as it is and only drink about 3 bottles at work.

I can’t wait to tell Will that is what he probably has too. He never ever drinks water, and I’m sure his body is not fully adjusted to the middle of nowhere desert camp yet. He drinks cokes all day, so I’m hoping that is what he has going on too. After I was in tears from talking about our recent public “bathroom and the yucks” experiences, I made her go to the PX with me to get some Imodium. I’m also not good at that. I know, that’s weird. I would nomally have to buy like 3 things along with the Imodium so I wouldn’t feel like people are staring at me thinking, “Look at that girl, she’s running all over the place and had to get some Immodium. heh. Sucks to be her!“, but I was so desperate that I just went and got it and hid it as we stood in line laughing about our preventable ailment. She is new too, so like me, so it was so nice to laugh with someone that literally was going through the same thing I was and having to deal with coworkers that just kept looking ta you weird everytime you get up to leave the room.

For example, I have to share the office with another dept apart from mine. Everytime I got up to use the bathroom today (I “went went” 3 times, but I have to go so much after drinking a bottle of water or two also) this lady kept asking me, “where are you going?” It wasn’t rude question the way she asked it, but it got annoying fast because first she is not in my department, and second it really isn’t a lot of her business. The last time she asked me I was so tempted to say, “Look here lady, I have fountain-like, thundering, explosive diarreha from not drinking enough water, and now I’m going to go unload myself on an innocent, unsuspecting toliet if you don’t mind. DO you want to come!!??” I really came close to saying that. I think she would have died from shock in her chair.

I haven’t fully unleashed my true self in the office yet I guess.

I can only pray things get better. I got a 1.5 liter of water to drink the rest of the day, I better be dried up like the Kuwait Desert by tomorrow dang it.

Okay, so now not only am I terribly shocked and embarrased that I decided to share that with you, but I’m sure you are all have this weird unsettled feeling now that you made it through my sick, disgusting blog.

I’m a weirdo, what can I say.

I might try and get some pictures up of our Qatar trip, they turned out great! We’ll see though.

Have a great day!

And DRINK LOTS OF WATER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DRINK LOTS OF WATER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DRINK LOTS OF WATER!

Hello Hello

Nothing great today, nothing at all. 

Really.

My boss has been out sick all week, so again I feel like a fish out of the aquariam, flopping around making small puddles, hoping that someone will put be where I belong. That is a whole post in itself, but I don’t feel like talking about that right now.

You’ll never guess what this guy said to me today! I thought I was going to lay on the floor and do 3 million crunches- after throwing up all over myself out of shock of course.

Okay, yesterday I met this guy my mom used to work with. He was nice, but had a strange sense of humor. Today my mom called me and told me he was going to stop by and drop something off that goes to her office. He came in and was nice and gave me what my mom needed, and

THEN…

THEN…

he told me I needed to go to the gym because my stomach was fat!!!

I gave him a look of shock and then he was like, “ ha ha, just kidding.”

First, I was totally mad that he would say that, and then- after the: “Who the crap does he think he is!? I am so going to buy a huge ice cream freaking sundae loaded with everything 3 times over and eat it in front of him, making disgusting noises and being sure to smear it all over my “fat stomach” while talking to “it” saying, “Does Brittny’s tummy like that!?” - I felt like crap!!

I can’t believe he had the audacity to say that to me. I wanted to shove my pen up his nose! I felt like one of those women that got asked when they were due when they were not pregnant at all.  I’m surprised another lady hasn’t killed him for being so blunt before today. What guy is stupid enough to say that!? He is obviously single still for a reason. I’m not fat at all, but I’m like most women that have areas I’d like to work on.  Anyway, that totally hurt my feelings! I think I’m still in shock.  I don’t even know what to think. Even if he was kidding (I don’t think he was), I don’t know him at all. I can’t believe he would say that. I’m sorry for obsessing over that, but I will be dwelling on that for the next 5 hours now. Wow. What a day. I can’t believe that!

I got my work email set up today! Yay! now I can get loads of emails from people telling me to do more work (total sarcasm in my excitement)! They flipping spelled my name wrong though. Brittney. I think there must be 13 different ways to spell my name. What is hilarious is that I spelled it out letter by letter to them as they were creating my account, yet they still missed it.

Amazing.

I usually don’t care at all because there are As and Es and Is inserted to my name all the time, but I thought it might get confusing to have the correct spelling on everything else and then the wrong spellling on my email. I feel bad for all you ladies that have crazy long last names. I’m sure they get spelled wrong all the time. I think after a certain point I would just be like, “yeah...whatever… that’s me.”

Like I said, pretty boring day.

I’m beginning to feel like sleep has become a waste. “Why bother,” I think, “I just have to get up in 4 hours anyway!”

Okay, I NEED sleep. In fact, on weekends I could be compared to a cat. I could sleep all day, but lately the idea of sleep jut ticks me off. That sounds so weird, but that was the very first thing I thought as I heard the alarm this morning. I seriously thought, “It’s like it [sleep] didn’t even matter.”

Will started his new schedule this week and it is excruciating. He works 4 14 hour days, PLUS lunch and a 3 hour drive (total time), so it works out to being at work 18 hours. Plus, he’s in the middle of no where. The “desert gem” camp (HAHA), where there is nothing but hot wind, lots of blowing sand, and big tents (I haven’t been there, I think there may be a few buildings set up, but mostly not). I think that adds to the misery and makes the days drag even longer.

He got home late last night, looking like he had been punched in both eyes. They were all black and droopy. After he said hello he said, “I have to do this all over again in 6 hours.” He took a quick shower and fell into bed fast asleep.That boggles my mind. He seriously did have to get up and do the same thing 6 hours later. I know tons of people do this everyday, but I am not used to it yet. There is no time for anything.

Sleep is just not long enough. I get up at 3:20 every morning. I had to tinkle at midnight last night (the old woman bladder thing), and usually I would think, “Ahhh, 6 and a half more hours of sleep.” Instead I got a sinking feeling in my stomach knowing I only had 3 hours and I grumbled the whole way to the bathroom and back, and then irritatingly went back to my “nap.” That’s sort of what it feels like (a nap). I know we are working towards a goal. I have to meditate on that each day and ask God to carry us through, but I have had such a shock getting used to the loooong days.

Sleep is just enough to make me mad now! I’m sure a lot of you all can relate.

The lady I’m riding with works 12 hours (that includes lunch), so I have to sit and wait for her another hour after I get off before we go home, which gets me there at 7. It has been frustrating. All I want to do is eat dinner, take a shower, and go to bed! I’m hoping when we move I’ll be able to find someone that goes in at 6 and leaves at 5. PLEASE!!

Anyway, that’s enough about sleep.  It’s just going to take time getting adjusted to the long days and the hot sun. My body tells my it is time to go home and see Will around 4:30, but I still have 3 hours to go (that includes a drive home). My body tells me it’s lunchtime at 9:00 since I ate breakfast at 4:15. (that may just be me though. I can eat at anytime, which is a problem!)

I’m all out of wack. I am going to have to adjust myself to this new schedule, especially Will’s long days (I think that’s the 3rd time I said that!). That will take some getting used to. I felt bad last night because I missed him so much that when he walked in the door, seriously exausted, I attacked him with excitement and love and lots and lots of chatter and questions. I know I probably bombarded him, but as I said earlier this is a new schedule for both of us and I’m used to having a few awake hours with him at night, but now I just have the sleeping hours! 

Thank God for my mom. She has picked me up everyday this week. If she didn’t I would get home an hour later. It has been nice because I am so close to their apartment, but when I move, I won’t have anyone to take me home on time, which will be very depressing. that means if my ride stays an hour of over time, I have to too. Kind of sucks. She picked me up again tonight because in the middle of the afternoon my ride told me, “by the way, you need to find a different way home.”

Great.

It’s not that easy because I really don’t know anyone here yet, so finding rides has been a huge pain. My boss is supposed to coordinate all that, but from what I’ve seen you’re on your own a lot. Sigh…

I know Will won’t be here until late, but I can get everything ready for tomorrow so when he finally does come home and is awake for 15 minutes, I will cherish it.
**********
As for other things… Today I saved Kuwait. Okay, so that is a HUGE exaggeration, but let me say it anyway. I went to the bathroom this morning and as I turned the knob on the facet to wash my hands, the whole handle broke off in my hand. The water was on full blast and splashing up on me as I tried to think what I should do.

This place is a ghost town in the morning. I was on my own. I was thinking, “I could just walk out and leave the water- an important thing in the desert- keep flowing none the wiser to what had just happened.” I’m sure most people that truly know me would agree I’m good at being oblivious. “Or, I could figure out how to fix the faucet, being the skilled plumber I am.” I tried to screw the handle on, only for it to fall off. The water is continuing to splash all over me, but I was in plumbing mode. Nothing was going to stop me from fixing that freakin’ faucet handle. I try just pushing it on, only for it not to fit. Then I start my goofy worrying, “What if I can’t fix it!?” I would feel so bad if it ran for an hour or two until someone finally came to fix it. What if Kuwait ran out of water and then they were on a hunt to find the person that drained the reserves!? They would find me, tucked behind my desk contently looking at a book, having no clue I was about to be taken in for questioning. Okay, obviously I was overreacting big time, but I did sort of amuse myself with the above thoughts as I struggled to force the stupid handle on the attachment thingy (such great plumbing jargon). 

After a couple of minutes it almost became fun, like a frustrating puzzle that would feel so great to finally solve. I did some more twisting and placing and whatever else and it finally snapped into the right screw or whatever and shut the water off. What a good feeling. I looked at myself in the mirror and gave an approving nod, as if I was doing it to someone other than myself or something (what a dork). I dried my pants off and made sure I had no plumber’s crack (okay, stupid, I know. I’m just kidding), and went out the door. I thought about checking to see if it worked, but I was sure it would only hold up another time or two. Oh well, at least I tried and the water won’t run out.

I felt pretty proud of the minor “nothing” I had done this morning, so please just let me bask in the moment. I have had few highlights to my days since I’ve started working, so I have to look for the little things.

I went back to the bathroom this afternoon and the stupid facet was back in the sink. So much for my amatuer plumbing. Oh well.

Anyway, I’m about to take the day off and get totally ready for bed so when Will comes we can have a little while to talk.

Have a good afternoon! <3

Do you speak another language?

Are you quick at translatng?

Would you like to become well traveled and see a different part of the world?

Then you, yes YOU are encouraged to join the dynamic, ever changing, never a dull moment CrazyGirlInc.

We here at CrazyGirlInc. feel you are more than capapble of taking on the duties necessary in carrying out the company’s mission: to keep Brittny Lynne’s head together and make sure she does not fall apart. Yes, I know this task seems far too big for just one person, but we believe you are more than capapble of rising to the occasion.

Interested?

Then you have a job spending your every waking moment with me, translating the gibberish I hear everday! Okay, so the beginning was totally dorky, but what do you expect by now!?

A couple days ago I was in a situatuion in which these ladies were speaking their native language- of course I have no idea what they are saying, and for that matter, I don’t even know what language they were speaking all together- but I think it was something I should have known. It was one of those bad feelings I got as I heard a few key words.

The lady I ride to work with is from a different country. On top of that, she moved to britian and is a citizen of the UK- so she is a ________ (WPP protected) with a British accent. So- she has 2 accents going on. She is great, but I have a hard time understanding the asdfjsdklfjkljf (that mess represents the language, that is what my stupid interpretation) with random Enligh words thrown in, not to mention when she is just speaking English period.

I feel bad constantly saying,

“What?”

What?”

“I’m sorry, what was that?”

“Once more time please?”

I seriously try really hard to listen, and I know she is trying hard to get me to understand but sometimes it doesn’t work.

Anyway, today she had to pick up one of her friends and on the way to work they start talking whole sentences mixed with English and their other language. That’s fine by me, I’m just along for the ride so it didn’t bother me at all. However, a few minutes into our ride I hear “sdfja;sdlfjksjd… the safety concern.” Okay, so I don’t understand “a;ksjiouer,“ but I understand safety concern, and not only that, but THE safety concern. There’s a safety concern? what safety concern? I try to hear more, but all I get is, “ s;dfjeurwoeiru,” and then bomb threat.

Okay, I’m no rocket scientist or even masters degree grad for that matter, but hearing the words “THE safety threat and bomb threat” within two minutes of eachother had me feeling like I just ate 50 Snickers bars and rode It’s a Small World 86 times at Disneyworld (I had a bad experience). The blood drained from my face.

Then!

Then!

Guess what happes next!!!?

THEN I hear, “aslfjweoriu Britney Spears.”

Followed by:

“ha ha ha ha ha ha ha,” An erruption of laughter.

Hmmm, do you think that was in reference to a paticualr person? Like the blonde in the back seat?

Nah…

I’m just paranoid.

So I really need to learn a language here. There is so much diversity here. I have truly enjoyed getting to lear about the many cultures here. It is very interesting, but it also makes most Americans feel pretty “normal.“ I know few people that can speak any of the many languages that are spoken here. So many different nationalities live here and they all speak their own language and I have no clue. My high school and college intro to German have done me No good.

Okay, so I am now trying to link the last 5 minutes of my ride as I’m regretting the bottle of water I had earlier that morning. I have a bladder the size of an 85 year old woman and when I get all nervous (I usually get all worked up about nothing!) I gotta go. Okay, THE safety concern. I’m an “analyzer” as it is anyway, so there could be absolutely NOTHING going on at all, and I would be fully convinced that there was a full scale evacuation of the entire country later that afternoon. In fact, my mind wandered there. Hmmm, I wonder if I’ll have time to grab some extra underwear, deoderant, oh yeah… and our pictures (you have to get the “important” stuff you know. ha ha) Bomb threat? How does that tie in? I don’t think that’s really the pertinent question. All I know is that it does. Now, what about that crazy Britney Spears? That silly girl. What is she up to? I had quite a ride wondering what they were really saying as the conversation switched from the country’s evacuation that day to “Britney Spears.” Okay, so I’m sure it was about the baby, but one of the ladies had called me Britney Spears last week, so I had to wonder. What!!? Is it because I’m freakin’ blonde and pale as Casper and look like a freak here!? --> whole other post. Now I’m just being flat annoying.

Anyway, the ride was Its a Small World All Over Again.  So, I’m taking offers for translators to hang around each day. I promise I would be a good employer. All I know is that Britney Spears is the huge safety concern in Kuwait and she is making bomb threats. You’d think with the whole just giving birth to Kevin’s third child thing would have slowed her down.

Guess not.

To inquire about positions in CrazyGrilInc. click the feedback button below and someone will get back to you shortly. We are an equal opportunity employer, meaning we will review all applications, even those who are not “crazy” like our CEO.

Yes, it is official. I am going crazy.

Just X out of this post and pretend you NEVER read it

Are there any constant key losers in the group?

Please stand up.

Anyone that has after getting in the car has to frustratingly get out to make sure both the curling iron AND iron are turned off?

You’re welcome too.

I have serious problems. I am calling on the creative Nesties to create a trend so I can overcome this terrible annoyance.

I think I lose or forget to do something on an everyday basis. I whine, “I lost my chapstick!” to Will at least 3 times a week. I am constantly having to be reminded, “Did you have the keys?”

” Are you sure?“

“Show them to me.“

It really gets on my nerves when Will does this. I almost always have to physically have to show him the keys or money or whatever before we leave. It really aggravates me, but I have given him EVERY reason in the world to have to do this, so I figure until I can be a “big girl” and remember the simplest things, he probably is justified in asking me to show him where my money is and that it is zipped up, or where my keys are.

You win Will.

Yesterday topped it all. I will officially for the rest of my life have to surrender the, “Show it to me” crap.

I’ll be honest, a lot of times if he doesn’t ask me to show him the keys or whatever else and just says, “Are you sure?” I will just say yes so we can get a move on. Yes, I’m not the brightest blonde in the bunch.

I did my “checks” before we left.

“Do you have a key?”

“Yes.”

“Money?”

“Yes.”

“Phone?”

“Yes.”

(I really did have those things)

So, we head out and go to Buffalo’s for lunch. We had an enjoyable time, and then it was time to go. I get my stuff together and of course get my, “Are you sure you have everything, Britt?” question (I sound like an OLD lady don’t I!!?). I do my passing, “Yes, Will,” without looking, which I’m sure was my demise.

We then head to Marina Mall to catch a movie. We got to the theatre and Will reminds me to turn my phone on silent (I really DO sound like an old lady!!). I start searching through my abyss of a purse…

“Where is that stupid thing?”

Nothing.

I pull everything out of my purse and can’t find it. I was sick. Not the best weekend in the world to lose a phone.

It was gone.

After the movie we went back to Buffalo’s, though I didn’t expect anyone to fess up if it had been left. It’s amazing how much trouble you can get into if you steal something, but a lot of the third country workers do it anyway. I went in, and of course it wasn’t there.

I was so mad at myself.

Will was pretty mad at me too. It was more of that terrible parental disappointment. I got the “irresponsible talk“ the whole way home, which didn’t make me feel any better because I was already mad at myself and didn’t really feel like hearing Mr. Responsible’s take on my carelessness.

We got home, and I tried to call my number, hoping someone would answer. Nope.

I went in the bedroom and plopped on the bed. I knew Will was still upset with me because now we would have to buy a new phone when it could have been avoided, but he was pretty merciful. He took me in his arms, and while I knew he was upset with my constant “scatterbrainedness,“ he told me it would be okay and he would buy me a new phone today, and not only that but he would get me the exact same one I had before (which was a little pricey). for some reason I felt worse! What a dork. I guess I felt like I should get a piece of crap phone this time just for like a probationary thing or something, but my sweet husband, annoyed with me as he was, is going to take care of me.

So that’s good. It really sucks that I have to get a whole new number and stuff now though, and all my important numbers were in my other phone. Grrr. The way 98% of cell phones work here is that you buy a phone, get a chip from the one cell phone company that is here, and then you use prepaid phone cards. So my phone is not only gone, but my chip and number and everything else is gone. You can’t cancel your service here.

Anyway, I am now convinced I need someone to design me something fashionable that is able to have my phone or chapstick or whatever the case may be attached to my clothing or purse or something!!!!!

Any ideas?

Maybe I need to have someone constantly with me making sure I have everything with me...wait… that’s Will’s job, and we see how great that worked.

How can I be so flipping in my own world? Not like a stuck up in my own world, but just thinking about tons of stuff and wondering about things and looking at the flowers on my way out the door…

Only me I guess.

If you watched The Apprentice this past season I was thinking I needed to enlist the group that made pockets to hold ipods in the American Eagle clothes to design something comparable for me. I may not be joking.

Anyway, I get sad on Fridays because my weekend is almost over and yours is about to begin. Nonetheless have a great Friday!

Do you have your keys?

Your money?

Your phone?

Anything else important?

When I told Will what I was going to title this post he gave me a disapproving look, but I just had to do it.

Lucky for me he doesn’t read, but I’ll apologize nonetheless.

Sorry Willy.

Have you ever had a phase or period in your life when everyday the alarm goes off, and you are in the early stages of alertness, you rub your sleepy eyes and think, “I wonder what thing will morph into an incredibly diabolic mess today?“

Maybe not, but I’m sure you’ve had a day or two when you’ve woke to feel that.

Welcome to the last few months of this crazy girl’s life.

Okay, I shouldn’t say everything is going straight to hell. God has truly blessed us, but if you’ve followed me for a while you know things haven’t gone as smoothly as one would like- such is life I guess.

Well, today I woke up thinking, “YAY! moving day!!“

I annoyingly said this exact phrase every half hour on the dot. I really drove Will crazy. I continued to prance around and express my jubulation all morning.

We got around and got our first trip of stuff ready to go. We got there and decided to check out the place before we lugged our life upstairs. As we got out of the car I did a dorky little jump, grabbed Will’s hand and said- and I quote:

“Yay Will! We’ve waited sooo long for this moment and it’s FINALLY here! We get to be married again and have our very own beautiful apartment! Yay for moving day!“

A dead woman’s last words.

We got to our apartment, opened the door and got the shock of our lives. Things get fuzzy from here. I think I seriously hit the floor, but I can’t be too sure. Will had to pry my eyelids open and bribe me with a Snickers bar so I would not stay in the hallway, unwilling to go a step farther.

I’m such a freakin’ sucker for chocolate. What’s wrong with me. It honestly would have been better for me to have stayed where I was.

PAUSE: Okay, before I give you the good stuff let me explain how this stuff works. When a person moves out they are supposed to get everything inventoried and have an inspection- both of which did not happen in this case.

Okay, back to the story.

At this point it was just kind of like, okay pick the room you want to throw up in because you will seriously be sick at the sight.

I picked the WRONG room.

I picked the kitchen.

There is something crucial about the kitchen. It is one of those rooms that HAS to be clean. I don’t care if you are the slobbiest person in the world and sit around in a moo moo slathering Betty Crocker frosting on graham crackers all day with your 52 cats and 13 birds- you MUST keep your kitchen clean. There are a million reasons why this is a required rule written into law, but that may have to be saved for another post.

So, I went into the kitchen first. The floor was sticky and disgusting. My shoes were stuck to the floor and made that terrible Riiiip sound as I tried to pick my feet up to walk. Yum. I wonder what deliciously dried puddle of crap I just stepped in. There were dishes still in the sink. Cups full of only our Lord knows what on the counter. Sticky crap latched onto the stove. Get THIS!! There was crap all on the CEILING!! HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN!? How in the world can so much crap get stuck there? Is this Pippy Longstalkings where they hung out on the walls and made dinner from the ceilings or something!? “Hey sweetie! Throw some ketchup up here! Let’s see if I can squirt it into the pan!!“ The fridge, once white, was smeared with brown handprints and had a yellowish tinge. The kicker was that there was rotting food in the fridge as well as on the floor next to the fridge. Dinner at my place next week ladies!!

I wish you all could have been there with me because my descriptions DO NOT do it justice. It was like the Fiji fraternity had their national convention at our apartment.

I should have just walked out right there, but Will made me go farther in so we could make sure we could see what else was wrong before we called someone. Not a great idea sweetie.

There was nasty food glued to the furniture. I said refried beans, Will said pudding. You KNOW it’s bad when you can’t even decide WHAT is stuck to the furniture you will soon be plopping down on in just a few hours (YUCK! I can’t believe we are going to live there!).

There was food ground into the carpet, which was stained brown because of the filth. There was food attached to the coffee table. It was not going anywhere. It was stuck to that freakin’ table like Britney to Kevin. Her lovely shower cap and a slew of trash we left sprawled in one of the bathrooms. It was just horrifying. Think Amityville but kick it up a notch.

Things were flat out bad. I could give you all a room by room analysis, but I think you get the point and I honestly don’t have the time to do it justice.

We seriously got screwed. We called the housing lady, which I totally love, and she was very aplogetic. She said things would be taken care of within 3 days. I know she will do her best, but the problem is that I think she is going to make the lady clean the place herself, which never quite works out because when you are cleaning something that is not yours anymore you don’t do as good of a job as if it were yours. Am I making sense? What they REALLY need is a team of engineers to overhaul the entire place and steamclean every room from top to bottom. Another problem is that we were given this day to move, which was an inconvenience to those we work with, especially those who work with Will because they are in the process of moving to a new camp. This deplorable mess has inconvienced a lot more people than just us (not to mention my parents that got the call this afternoon and had to hear, “We’re baaaack.”)

I was very upset. I want to go on about the whole ordeal, but I should probably start to wrap things up.

I think what bothers me the most is that the place is beyond unacceptable. I don’t think I’d even let someone I didn’t like stay there. I am sick with the whole problem.

I think what makes me the maddest is the fact that we still have to live there. Yeah Yeah, I know they are going to clean it, but there are somethings I KNOW they will not clean properly, like the furniture (she’ll probably just do a “half-arse“ job to make it look decent), and this is the furniture we will be sitting on, the bed we will be sleeping in- it just disgusts me to think. I get mad thinking that I KNOW I will have to go behind this lady once we FINALLY do get to move in and clean the place the way it needs to be.

I was very disappointed. I’ve been very impressed with the way they have set up the rooms for newcomers I had seen before, so this was an utter shock. The housing lady is so great, so I know someone is going to get in trouble, but that doesn’t help us now.

Do I have some aura around me that yells, “Let’s see what makes the nice girl not nice!! Let’s make a game out of it!“

So this afternoon we are going to meet my mom at the apartment so she can see it, not that we need someone to validate the filthy conditions, just so she can get pissed off too I guess. She is bringing her digital camera, I’m sure we’ll capture some beautiful shots of our first apartment in Kuwait. heh.

Sorry for the vent session. I was so looking forward to this day, and now who knows when we will get to move. It has been quite a shocking day, and now with our schedules I’m not really sure when things will get fixed and when we will get to move in.

ARGHHHHH.

So, back to the current living status. Business as usual indefinitely.

I may post the pictures at the apartment later, but not really sure.

All I have to freaking say is that I better have cheered SOMEONE up out there today that was having a bad day by telling today’s crazy story.

<3

Yes girls, that’s right. Let me be alone a few days.

It’s moving day tomorrow.

Ahhhh....
Music to my ears.

We got the day off to move our stuff to our new place. I’m hoping it will only take a few trips in the car, and then we’ll be able to unpack and enjoy the weekend, as a married couple again.

It’s crazy to think that a third of our year was spent cohabitating with parental figures.

Yeah, THAT doesn’t make for awkward situations.

I do have to admit though, that it will be strange not having 50 million people around all the time. It will seem weird having just our clothes to wash and not 36 other white t-shirts that look just like Will’s. It will be weird having to make dinner when I get home after a long day from work. It will be weird not having to say, “I wish we could have the TV for a few minutes!” or “I really don’t want to eat that, do you think she’ll be mad if we get fast food and bring it back?”

There will be a lot of things that will seem weird this weekend as we are able to wholly enjoy eachother for the first time in half a year.... but I’m sure I’ll manage.

As for other things going on in my working life? nothing seems to be working in this working life, but I’m sure it will start to piece together in good time. I actually met a little friend today, so that made me happy. No more getting Subway alone and eating in the office.

Yes, I am a dork.

Remind me to tell you a story that happened to me yesterday. It was one of those moments when I wish one of you was there to give me a play-by-play on all the action. Maybe I’ll post that one tomorrow.

Until then, I will be enjoying the fact that I can walk around in my bra if I want to, be on the toliet only to realize I have no toliet paper and be able to yell down the hall, “Hey! I’m on the crapper and don’t have any TP!!!!!!!” I’ll be able to sit and watch hours of mindnumbing BBC food with absolutely no guilt for hogging the TV from everyone else. i will enjoy having the little time I have with Will all to myself (finally) again.

Repeat.

Repeat.

Repeat.

Have a great day all.

Short post today. My eyes are starting to droop, and I can see my self any minuted hitting the keyboard comatose and leaving you all nothing but asldfjklsdjflksdjflksajdflkajsdklfj until I wake up at 3:30 tomorrow to get ready for the day.

This schedule is the worst.

I can’t write long, and my post will be pretty boring today, but I feel like a stranger and will probably continue to feel that way for the next week and a half or so. Things at work are just....

Well…

I guess I don’t know yet.

Today I almost flatlined.

My boss was gone so I literally (I’m not making this up) sat on an uncomfotable chair at this lady’s desk for 11 hours. No lie. 11 hours and then had an hour lunch. I got up 3 times to make copies for her. In the 11 hour span I read 3 newspapers which took all of an hour.

It was mindnumbing.

The daily work day is 10 hours and a lunch. We car share, so I am at the mercy of those who take me. The lady that did worked 11 hours today, which added to the long and boring day.

There is lots in the middle. It wasn’t a bad day or anything, but I don’t have a computer, a desk, and my boss doesn’t even have his own computer or desk. They have him at a table. I just didn’t really have a place today.

The day was long, and like I said I was at the mercy of someone else to get me home. I am a vERY time-oriented person, so I felt like today was a waste, and then having to wait an extra hour got me all worked up.

I was so ready to go home, I was literally bored to tears. My eyes watered as I was sitting in the car thinking how much I wanted to go home and how much further we still had to go.

Like I said, lots in the middle, but you probably get the big drift. As soon as I walked in the door I saw Will. I feel right into his arms and lost it. I don’t really know why. I guess for some reason I felt overwhelmed on my first full day, and having to stare at a wall for 12 hours. I don’t really know what it was. I hate that he isn’t just a drive away, he is literally across country. I just cried. Tears have seemed to be a theme the last few days.

I’m sorry this post is boring, but I juts needed to post for myself tonight. I don’t know when I will get to do this again, so I just need to do it know and take advantage of the time I have.

We get our keys for the apartment tomorrow! That means that I won’t have the computer anymore… the only bad thing about moving out. Anyway, I don’t know when I’ll be getting a computer either. things are crazy right now because Doha is closing and they are trying to move everyone out of that camp and to other places, so that is their first priority. So, I’m getting paid to sit, which is okay, but depressing.

Anyway, I hope you are all having a fantastic week! I will try not to be a stranger for the next week, but I don’t really know when I’ll be able to post.

I should have an interesting story about our newcomers briefing. My dad has part in it and was telling me all about some of the weird stuff they brief us on.

I wanted to laugh.

Maybe that will brighten my day. It’s on Tuesday, so we’ll see, though I hope I have something to cheer me up work wise before then.

Thanks for listening to me vent. It probably made no sense because I am exhausted and I just want Will to hold me.

Hopefully I’ll be on in the next couple of days.

Have a great weekend.

Boomer Sooner (last I heard they were up… I guess we’ll see)