It’s only Monday and my brain seems to be enjoying its three day weekend early.

I honestly feel like a restless fifth grader during the last week of school. I’m finding it so hard to concentrate and stay on track. All I can think about is swimming this weekend and being lazy and fireworks and fun (um and loads of terrible food- followed by the gym of course… perhaps...).

I think the dog days of summer have hit me hard. Our neighborhood is full of kids and I secretly envy them everyday I get home from my work, clad in my dress clothes and clunky purse. I’m fully convinced our school system sets us up to drag during this time of the year as professional adults. I mean- you get three whole months off your entire life and then all of a sudden- BAM- the no fun zone. The occasional single day off observed on Memorial Day, 4th of July, and Labor Day.

Um- yes, I’m whining- but I secretly think you agree.

Or at least I like to think so.

I’ve been humming, “School’s Out for Summer” all day today- and it’s killing me slowly.

I think I like Monday holidays better than Friday holidays. I think I stay on track better. I have no idea why- so let’s not camp out here.

I have a few pictures to share with you guys I’ll have to post soon, and a short little video of our little Patriot babies! Our groomer always dresses the dogs up in the cutest little bandannas for each season. Right now they’re all red, white, and blue- it’s so cute. I’ve been calling them all sorts of random made up Patriotic names, big long ones that annoy Will. Like, Little Lucy Martha Washington or General Bosworth John Hancock. I’m loving it. Will isn’t. But I secretly think he does.

But I’m probably wrong.

I usually am about those sorts of things.

You would think his annoyance would prompt me to stop- but it only spurs me on. You’re so lucky you don’t live with me. I would most certainly drive you crazy. There are times in which I think Will is on the edge- but I think that’s why God gave me someone so freakishly strong and stubborn. Nothing is going to drive this man crazy, not even me.

So what are you guys doing for the 4th? Are you taking time off this week? Going out of town? Hanging out with lots of friends? Guys- all this talk is making me want to start our weekend of festivities early! Let’s have a potluck at my place this Thursday? Yay for cook outs with friends! Um- only we still don’t have a grill (depressing, I know) and the George Foreman? Frankly. It sucks. I should reserve this frustration for its own post.

However- I will sarcastically say, “Clean up is SO easy!” HA. have you ever tried to clean that thing? You literally need a freaking car sponge followed by a brillo pad, acid, and holy water.

But I digress.

So, perhaps the cookout won’t work as easily at my place-unless you want to load up your grill and come over? If you’re lucky I might even get all wild and crazy on you guys and breakout the sparklers!

I know- I’m out of control!

Sigh… it’s only Monday night and sadly I have several long and busy days ahead of me.

Here’s to happy thoughts of swimming, (finally) getting tan, eating, friends, fun, and freedom.

Happy Short Week!

1. I bought a shirt the other day from The Gap that Will doesn’t know about. In fact- it was only $5 but I still gave it to Rachel to hold until our next gym date. I’m a dork and have no idea why I did that. Perhaps because we’re going through Dave Ramsey’s course and I felt a little guilty? (yes- a freaking $5 shirt. What a crazy.) Anyway- I figured it was a good confession to share.

2. I saw someone I work out at the same gym with at Walmart this afternoon. I secretly LOVE that I ran into someone that works out at the same place I do- especially when I’m having a good hair day and look put together. I.look.beyond.awful. when I go to the gym, so I always feel Ace when I run into someone who has seen me sweating all over myself (you know- sweat dripping from every nook and cranny, red puffy face, veins popping...)- and then sees me “normal.” Trust me guys- I’m a scary sight on gym mornings.

3. I ate fried alligator today. Really- I did.

4. I did end up bringing a bottle of “water” with me to the wedding weekend extravaganza. It turned out to be a good decision.

5. I found out this afternoon that someone I work with was a stripper to pay his way through college. This in and of it self is sort of hilarious- to find out someone you have a professional relationship with used to wear textured and colored thongs and probably had some sort of signature “move."However, what makes it even more hilarious is how totally out of character it is for this person- a very cerebral, brainiac. Not the stripper type at all. Anyway- my confession is that everytime I saw him this afternoon I couldn’t stop laughing. I literally had to excuse myself from an office he was in today because I thought I might snort trying to keep myself from laughing. Good times.

Anything you need to share?

P:I just read your blog. I’m pleased to hear you were wearing underwear.

Me:Yeah- I was just going to direct you there. It was bad. I felt all dent-y and fat all day.

P:Believe me he wasn’t looking at that. He hasn’t seen young a** like that in 30 years. You just gave him his Father’s Day early.

***

Coworker:You should have just played it off and talked about it- making everyone else uncomfortable too! You should have been all, “Hey Mother-in-law- I didn’t mean to leave you out! I guess you need to see too!” and then pretend to lift your skirt.

HA HA

Yeah- I can just imagine how that would have went over with Pat.

Fun times. Just thought I’d share because both these comments cracked me up.

Watching “Jon and Kate” right now. I think they’re announcing their divorce tonight. I know we’re outsiders looking in, and we only see a portion of their life, but anybody have opinions on this situation?

More to come <3

There are times in my life where I really believe things happen to me simply so I will get off my duff and post about them. It’s as if the “blogging gods” look up from their golden computers and say,

“Hey! That ‘B-Love’ girl hasn’t posted in a while. What’s her problem!? Writers block? I guess she needs us to help our out. We’ll give her something to write about and make her so afraid of it happening again that she’ll continue to post on a regular basis to avoid our wrath. Muahahahaha” <- a giant strike of lightening flashes behind them and they all rub their hands together all evil-like…

And then the lightening hits their servers and they all cry and put their nerdy glasses and pocket protectors back on and try to remedy the problem.

Oh- but not before cursing me, of course.

So- yesterday that’s exactly what happened. It has been a while since I’ve posted- which of course translates into some sort of calamity. I should have known some sort of awful moment was lurking around the corner for me! I can’t go a week or more without posting and not have something happen to share.

We went to visit Will’s family for father’s day yesterday. We decided to have an early lunch, so we hopped in the car and headed to the restaurant. Pat and I sat in the backseat, while Will and his dad sat up front. As we pulled into the restaurant Will’s dad thought it would be nice to get the car door for me. He opened the door- and then it happened.

However, before we discuss “it,” I should explain something so the incident is clearer. I’m pretty low maintenance on the weekends. I try to do as little as possible to get myself ready. I’ve also become a big cotton skirt and dress wearer during the summer. They’re so comfortable and breathable and easy to throw on and look decent in… they’re amazing. Oh- and they’re even better when you’re feeling gigantic because they hide your fat and somehow make you feel a little better about yourself.

So- that being said, I was wearing a flowy black cotton skirt.

As Will’s dad opened the door a giant wind, what I have now begun to call, The Great Wind came upon us all. I swear it was so windy I saw a Chihuahua fly right past me. The wind angrily howled all around us- and before I knew it, the wind had somehow crawled underneath my skirt and raised it all the way up against my back- thereby exposing my entire lower body- black underwear and slightly hail dented legs for the whole world to see-

Oh and right (and I mean RIGHT) in front of my father in law!

Yes- go ahead and cringe. You can even scream if you want to, I know I wanted to.

Oh- and to make matters way, way worse- not only has Will’s dad seen downstairs- he’s also seen upstairs too. You may recall this post in which he saw me in my leopard print bra?

Yeah- I pretty much wanted to bawl my eyes out of embarrassment, and gouge his mind’s eye out of its socket.

I’m sure you understand.

So I grabbed my skirt and ran straight to the bathroom and tried to gain my composure. I was so so so mortified!

Mortified.

So what do I do? I run and tell someone what happened, you know, because that’s the totally normal thing to do- have something awful happen to you that you want to forget but run and text someone the whole story. Brilliant.

So, I texted P.

I kept thinking to myself, “Maybe he didn’t see?” Maybe I blinded him with my ghastly white legs so he wasn’t able to see a thing! I knew I hadn’t been tanning for a reason. I just kept thinking of ways that maybe I was overreacting and it wasn’t that bad.

But it was that bad.

I realized I couldn’t stay in the bathroom the rest of the day and that eventually I would have to come out and expose myself to the world. (<- ha ha, I’m pretty sure I had done enough exposing for one day. What I mean to say is that I needed to get out of the bathroom already and try to enjoy a meal with my in-laws.<- ha ha, that's funny. Enjoy a meal with my in-lawsIsn’t that sort of like an oxymoron?)

So- I came out of the bathroom and sat down at our booth. I always sit across from Pat when we eat- always. Always but for some reason yesterday of all days Pat took the inside and Will’s dad took the outside. Will was already comfortably sitting in his spot so I couldn’t really make a big deal about the whole seating arrangements. So- instead I gracefully sat down, directly in front of my FIL, and placed the menu right in front of my face.

Will’s dad made jokes like normal (um- NOT about what had happened, of course) and basically acted like nothing had happened which sort of made me feel better. I really wanted to believe he hadn’t seen my giant derriere flapping in the wind, so him just acting normal helped me to pretend that he didn’t.

Even though let’s face it- he so did.

Let’s just say yesterday’s lunch felt like the longest day of my life.

And let’s also say that a valuable lesson had been learned today-

No, it’s not that you should never wear skirts.

It’s not that you shouldn’t let your father-in-law open the door for you either.

It’s not even that you should have Casper white legs.

It’s that the wind is one sick, perverted, ancient old man that seriously needs to be contained.

1. The weekend wasn’t as bad as anticipated.

2. Pictures are posted and I think they turned out pretty good. I think Will needs to wear a tux everyday.

3. I never became more aware of the fact that Will and I truly and seriously treat our dogs like real life children more than I did this weekend. I listened to all our family members with kids and the little common trigger phrases they said and thought to myself, “Wow… I say that too. To my dogs. I think Will and I need help.”

4. I actually thought about kids this weekend (as in maybe having them one day down the road) and sort of freaked out but sort of did not. Long story short- I saw a lot of couples this weekend with small kids that seemed miserable (not with their children, but with their spouse) and it freaked me out. At the same time I thought about how I also know a lot of people that seem even happier with their spouse. I guess some of that could have been because of the circumstance (um I’m pretty sure traveling and having to stay up late for a family dinner can make EVERYONE grumpy). What do you think?

5. I honestly wore more makeup than the bride this weekend and felt a little ridiculous. She’s very simple and I so should have remembered that. Eh- I don’t get to dress up much so I figured I might as well do it right.

6. The AC in our truck went out. Thankfully it went out on the way home and not on the way there. I’m certain Will and I would have ended up in marital counseling had it gone out before. Have I mentioned I turn into a raging psychopath when I get hot? Probably not.

7. I felt really old Sunday when I went to bed at around 8:30.

8. I like Will’s family- despite what I say on my website sometimes. I’m pretty lucky to have his family in my life. I could definitely have worse- and realized that this weekend.

9. I didn’t even get to dance with Will at the reception. :( Do you know the last time we danced was back in 2002 when we met in ballroom dancing class!? I thought I was getting a dancer, but um- notsomuch. The 3 or 4 times they had a slow song Will was helping to get the bride’s overnight bag into Dr. Vet’s car, or tagging the car, or something else. Will and I were going to dance to the last slow song they played, but Dr. Vet and Mrs. Dr. Vet snatched us up and we danced with them instead. Oh well. Hopefully someone else will get married soon?

10. I’m beyond behind on reading and commenting on your blogs. Therefore I’m turning off comments today until I catch up. Sorry I’m a sucky blog friend but I promise to catch up soon. 

You don’t have to tell me.

I’ve been gone a while.

Have you guys gotten so behind in something to the point where you simply start avoiding it at all costs?

Take laundry.

It literally sits on my couch unfolded for days on end and the longer it sits the more I want to forget about it because I realize how awful it is to let it sit there. You’re a freaking adult darn it! Clean up your crap!

Heh- I’m a freaking adult darn it- therefore I can do what I want and let the laundry sit.

That’s what I think anyway.

So- the computer sort of became like the laundry on the couch. I believe I’ve eluded to that before- I’m a sucker for daylight savings time and the longer the days get the more I seem to want to stay away from the computer.

I hadn’t checked my email in almost two weeks! Craziness I know.

So the truth is that there’s a whole lot going on. Dr. Vet is tying the knot this weekend so things have been very busy.

I must admit, I’m just ready for them to be married already! Geez-a-lou let’s get this weekend started and over.

So this weekend will be devoted to an array of wedding festivities. P told me to bring a “bottle of water” to keep myself loose and carefree hydrated. At first I thought she was crazy, but now I simply think she’s on to something.

There’s definitely a lot to talk about in the coming days and I promise not to suck at posting next week and I promise to post pictures.

Because I know how much you guys love looking at pictures of random strangers, right!?

Have a lovely weekend and let’s plan to catch up soon (I say that for my own benefit- not yours). 

and have nothing bad to say at all.

I know.

It’s true!

Yes- this is the same woman that has made my left eye twitch incessantly by buying us a baby book for Christmas and the woman that has baby furniture in our storage shed and pouring cold water on almost everything Will loves.

I know…

In all honesty, I’m a little disappointed myself. I was really looking forward to posting about it.

Bummer…

The truth is, the last couple of months I’ve really actually been thankful for “Pat.” She has more than gone out of her way to make me feel really loved and special. Granted, she’s still Pat and will always have that stereotypical mother-in-law side to her,but the truth is that- as much as I complain about her at times- I’m really lucky to have a decent set of in-laws.

So Saturday Will and I went to see his parents. Pat wanted to take me shopping for a dress to wear for the wedding. I thought that was so nice of her- and something she most certainly didn’t have to do.

I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you I had my trepidations about shopping with my MIL. Seriously guys- she’s totally Pat McDougall from Everybody Loves Raymond. Our styles are very different. I had this awful feeling I was going to get stuck with something I hated because she was paying for it and I felt this awful obligation to get whatever it was she wanted me to have.

I had nightmares of long scratchy “frocks” with high necks and tight sleeves- or worse- bell sleeves.

Shudder.

So anyway- we went to the mall and she told me upfront, “I want you to get whatever it is that you want. I want you to be happy. Don’t worry about the wedding colors. Get something you like and you’ll wear again.”

After the paramedics woke me from my unconscious state- I began shopping for something I wanted, and it was great.

She left me to my own devices and let me do my own thing, but was still near enough to hold a conversation. It was nice.

Oh- but there was one veer off in which I got all squirmy and uncomfortable and began to sweat uncontrollably from my upper lip (um- yuck).

Luckily I recovered gracefully and was somehow able to deter the scary blouse purchase.

Whew.

Other than that moment- which was pretty scary- it was pretty fun.

I actually found something at the first store and I seriously love it. I’ll have to post a picture for you guys. Now the only trouble is finding seriously cheap shoes to wear with it!

So sorry guys, no fun blog story about shopping with Pat. Trust me- I’m way more bummed.

But at the same, pretty lucky.

Hope you had a great long weekend!

It’s Thursday night and I still have nothing to talk about.

It’s so bad in fact that I’ve contemplated opening the phone book to a random page and calling some random person with an awful cliche’ prank joke.

Yeah… it’s been that uneventful.

Sadly, Will won’t let me. He says it’s totally immature to do something like that. 

What does he know, right? He never has any fun (ha ha).

Finally Friday. I’m sure more interesting posts are in my future. After all, the weekend has arrived!

I’m sure there’s all sorts of exciting and interesting things that I need to share with you today-

only all I seem to be able to think about it how much I love daylight savings time and the long sunny evenings.

It makes me almost giddy- like cup runneth over happy.

Amazing how small things like that seem so great.

This will be our first season to enjoy daylight savings time in full, which doesn’t seem all that great but for some reason to me it does.

So as I try to think about all these so call exciting and interesting things I could share with you, the truth is that there’s not a whole lot to report.

(the small remaining grain of interest you were clinging to is now ripped right out of your hand)

I’m overjoyed about the three day weekend, as I’m sure you all are as well. Like many of you, this will be my first day off since new year’s day- so I’m seriously in need of a long weekend. I guess we’ll talk about all these things later in the week. After all, it’s only Monday.

...

I’ve got nothing guys. I’m seriously forcing myself to ramble on- and there’s absolutely nothing of any real substance being produced.

Eh- no use forcing something if it’s not there, right?

Have a good night. Enjoy the sunny warm evenings!

<3

I wish I could tell you I’ve been busy this week baking homemade brownies and learning how to cross stitch and therefore have been unable to post - but the truth is that I haven’t been doing any of those things.

But for fun can I just just tell you that’s what I’ve been doing? That way we’re both happy and feel good?

Lets!

Okay- so the reason why I haven’t posted in the last few days is because I’ve been very busy making brownies from scratch as well as cross stitching something very important.

I have no idea what one cross stitches, therefore I am unable to disclose what this important item is.

But seriously- I’m cross stitching.

I’m not lying.

In fact- I’m stitching right now, while I type.

Okay… I may be lying.

I will tell you I’m sitting here eating plain chocolate chips.

That, my friend, is no lie- though I wish it were.

Like the rest of you I’m thrilled tomorrow marks the end of another work week. To celebrate the weekend Will and I are going to go to eat a cheap dinner at the mall food court followed by a movie! You pretty much can’t beat cheap fatty fast food followed by 3 hours of sitting sedentary in a germy movie theatre seat, right?

Sigh…

I swear- if I didn’t love to eat as much as I do I would look like Jillian Michaels.

Ha- I guess we all would.

The first step to looking like Jillian would probably be rolling up this stupid chocolate chip bag and putting it in the cabinet.

Better yet- putting it in the trash.

But we wouldn’t want to waste them right?

We’ll go ahead and put them in the cabinet.

As you can see from my ramblings, you haven’t missed too much in my life. This week is one I kind of want to forget, so I’m really ready to begin the weekend and my date night with Will.

Ha- okay so Will just came out of our bathroom and saw me sitting on our bed with my computer and a bag of chocolate chips and just looked at me like I was crazy and said, “Okay… so you’re eating a bag of chocolate chips?”

I told him no. Do you think he believes me?

Um, my bet says no.

Alright- enough rambling for today. Happy Friday!